Expressing feelings: 13 tips for success –

Expressing feelings is not simple for most people. Emotions can be tricky to reveal, even if they are positive. But calm down! Let’s explain better why this happens and what can be done to resolve or at least alleviate these difficulties.

You’ve probably experienced situations in which you felt uncomfortable or that brought certain insecurities to the surface, right?

This happens because we are a combination of all the factors and experiences that happened from our childhood to adulthood. Basically, our personality is influenced by everything good or bad that happens around us, and this helps shape our reactions.

We often carry traumas or weaknesses that happened in the beginning of our lives, when we were still building our trajectory. And this makes us more cautious or reactive, impulsive or introspective, combative or conciliatory, for example.

These are forms of interaction that unconsciously protect us from the “dangers” that other people can cause to our well-being.

However, not expressing feelings can cause good opportunities to be missed or misunderstandings to occur with the people around us – especially those we love.

Below, we give you some tips for showing love or other sensations!

How to express feelings

Even if the feelings are not the noblest in the world (such as anger, sadness or frustration), it is important to externalize what you are feeling.

If it’s something “negative”, it doesn’t necessarily have to be with the person who caused you some heartbreak – you can turn to friends, family or (ideally) a specialized therapist.

The important thing is HOW to express these feelings and find an opportune moment. After all, no one wants to regret having said things in the heat of emotion or without emotional responsibility, right?

It is essential to strike a balance: neither act thoughtlessly, bordering on inconsequential, nor with indifference or neglect, having to deal, in the future, with the tangle of themes that will certainly come to the surface.

Furthermore, knowing how to show love is vital for maintaining our relationships, especially the most intimate ones!

To do this, check out our practical tips.

1. Understand what you are feeling

The first step is always to understand what exactly you feel. It is common for people to deal with situations automatically, even more so in the rush of everyday life.

So you need to stop and identify exactly what type of emotion the other person caused you, as you may believe that you are angry, for example, but upon reflection, realize that the source of the problem is fear or insecurity. .

If you want to understand how to perceive the types of emotions, be sure to check out the article on the Tua Saúde website!

2. Ask yourself why

Next, it is worth checking why you are feeling this emotion in question. You may have fallen in love, but the fear of rejection has created a barrier between what you are feeling and what you want to express. Or, it may be joy for something that is not culturally accepted.

Whatever the reason, understanding the reasons is crucial to expressing feelings in the healthiest way possible.

3. Embrace what you are feeling

It is also common to censorship (from others or our own) about what we should or should not feel.

In short, there is no right or wrong, but the reality of the facts: if something caused the concern (positive or negative), it is up to you to digest it and take the best actions to express what you feel. We all feel good and bad things throughout our lives, and this is perfectly common and the best: human!

Accept and embrace whatever is necessary to move forward and feel lighter.

4. If necessary, seek help from third parties

At the same time, emotions can be complicated. Factors such as maturity, introversion or even traumas that we discussed previously can cause powerful obstacles in us, preventing us from finding ways out or articulating strategies to say or write what we want.

Therefore, count on the help of people you trust and that you are open to scrutinizing what has been identified, asking for guidance.

In the same way, professionals who work in the field of Psychology can also completely expand our view of the facts. They are impartial (which is great), they have no emotional ties to us and they know the best techniques to make us deal masterfully with what bothers us. LOL

5. Choose the best time

After mapping what is actually happening internally, it is time to express your feelings.

If necessary, you can set aside time beforehand to digest and consolidate what you discovered in order to create a strategy for talking in a way that is interesting for everyone.

At the same time, the person may be in a bad moment, so the ideal is to feel the ideal moment for the conversation to take place.

6. Chat, share and listen

A good exchange depends a lot on the interest in making things clear and agreed. Don’t be afraid to share what you think – as long as there is consideration and respect, things will be fine.

On the other hand, listening to another person’s point of view is extremely constructive and creates new perceptions and layers to our understanding. Sometimes what we imagine or feel is a product of our imagination or insecurities and listening to what someone else has to say can adjust expectations.

7. Have patience and empathy

Finally, being patient with yourself and others is very necessary. Communication will not always be as desired or ideas will be reciprocal.

This may cause discomfort and may not represent the ideal, but it will certainly be better than leaving things under or misunderstood.

Have sympathy for other people’s points of view, even if they are not the same as yours. Still, don’t worry too much about the results, this is not an exact science.

How to express feelings in words

We know how difficult it is to express what you want with accuracy or comprehensibility. So we have some extra tips for you!

1. Practice honesty

Sincerity can be strange or scary, but it is always the best way! When the person realizes what is really going on in your head or notices that you have given them a vote of confidence, they are very likely to mitigate their resistance and be open to absorbing your point of view.

2. Opt for clarity

It is essential to use complex vocabulary or go round and round to express feelings. The simpler you are in the dialogue, the better. Ultimately, the goal is for everything to be clear and understandable.

3. Non-violent communication

Non-violent communication is a model of how to express yourself without using judgments, impositions or exempting yourself from responsibility.

Through it, we structure and present our thoughts positively and constructively. Consequently, the receiver of the message feels more comfortable or less resistant to listening to us.

4. Don’t outsource the blame

It is common for our minds to look for mitigations for our own mistakes when we are weakened. Therefore, we often blame others for actions we should take or for not responding in accordance with what we expect.

Even if there is a problem or frustration that you would like to point out, it is fair to exercise self-responsibility. To do so, prefer to use the first person singular, such as: “I felt sad because…” instead of “You saddened me…”.

5. Prefer positivity

To avoid creating a heavy or intimidating atmosphere, look for positive aspects about the relationship or other feelings, contextualizing the whole as something positive.

From there, then, make observations of what you would like to change, keeping in mind that not everything in life is just good or bad and therefore, it is wiser to stick to what works.

6. Use other forms of expression

It’s also great to diversify your vocabulary, incorporating new ways of expressing emotions. Simplifying feelings can make the interpretation confusing for the other person and leave “unfinished edges” in the future.

So, don’t just say “I don’t feel good/bad about this”, use more specific feelings.

The chart below can help you with this issue: it shows the primary emotions and those that derive from them.

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