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Emotional needs in a relationship

Love is not enough for a relationship to work. So that the union does not dissolve, it is necessary to care for and nurture emotional needs, such as security, complicity or the sum of resources.

Emotional needs in a relationship take the form of requests, demands or productive requests when both understand that what the relationship brings them is positive. Factors such as complicity, affection and recognition are ties that strengthen the daily bond and, as such, it is better not to ignore. Addressing these dimensions does not make us dependent people, but rather figures who know how to care for and promote the healthiest principles of an emotional bond.

If there is something that we should keep in mind, it is that every emotional relationship is not sustained by love alone. In fact, it is not enough to love the other person very much and for them to love us madly. People are in a position to grow more and better when we have complementary people who are capable of giving meaning to that commitment. Knowing how to respect, reach agreements, care for or be able to trust who we love builds the most long-lasting and satisfying type of love.

It is decisive that we know how to recognize and attend to these needs regarding emotions. that will build a healthy and happy relationship. We analyze it below.

“Love is not only wanting, it is above all understanding.”

-Françoise Sagan-

7 emotional needs in a relationship

There are different types of emotional needs in a relationship.. They are dimensions that demand attention and reciprocity when we begin an emotional bond. If they are neglected, this emotional project will not have much of a future. In this way, studies such as those carried out at the University of Freiburg and Arizona State University tell us something interesting in this regard.

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On the one hand, each of us must be responsible for our own emotional needs. An example of this is self-esteem, loving and validating ourselves as people is essential in all cases. However, the so-called interpersonal emotional needs are those that appear in our relationships with other people.

That is to say, if there is something we expect from any relationship for it to be satisfactory, it is affection and recognition. Therefore, it is appropriate to separate, on the one hand, “what we offer to ourselves” from what, as social beings, “we give and offer to others” to build meaningful relationships.

Let us therefore delve deeper into the latter.

1. Connection, I am in harmony with you

Connection is not guessing thoughts, anticipating needs and agreeing on everything. Connecting is tuning into values, dreams and projectsis to enjoy that harmony in which sometimes there may be differences, but those nuances are mutually enriching.

Connection is enjoying sharing life; feeling close, even when far away and also perceiving ourselves as complicit in large and small gestures.

2. Security, I trust you

Feeling safe next to someone is one of the emotional needs in a relationship. This will be fertile ground to share confidences and feelings.. This trust will also allow us to grow, since at certain times we will be able to add our resources to those of the other.

3. The daily affection that gives meaning to everything

Affection is affection covered with the need for care, concern and authentic love.. It is about seeking the best for others, treating them with respect at all times, promoting their happiness, their well-being, their personal fulfillment…

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4. Emotional needs in a relationship: validation

What exactly do we mean by validation? Why is it one of the most decisive emotional needs? From the University of Leuven, researchers point out in a study that The most satisfactory relationships have an adequate emotional interrelationship.

Simply put, validating is recognizing the emotional realities of the other and acting accordingly. This gradually builds that emotional interrelationship in which two people support each other, know each other, and respond to each other’s needs without ignoring or distorting them.

Emotional validation is the caress that comforts a relationship. It is recognizing in others their emotions to nourish them, responding in harmony by being helpful and saying “I am here for you and I respect what you feel.”

5. Autonomy, identity is maintained, but we share a project together

Among the emotional needs in a relationship, it is decisive that autonomy also exists. It is just as important to be there for others at all times as it is to leave them space. allow you to have your place in the world to fulfill yourself socially and personally.

Letting our couple have their friendships, their work projects, their moments of leisure, etc., directly impacts the happiness of both of us.

6. We are each other’s priority

In a relationship, individual identity, self-esteem and dignity must be protected. Perhaps there are times when we have to fight not to dilute ourselves completely in the other, it is true. However, we also need to perceive something very basic: that we are a priority for the person we love.

Knowing that we are part of your plans and your life project, that we are a priority in your thoughts gives us peace of mind and security.

7. Empathy, you are able to see and understand my personal reality

Empathy is the thread of happy relationships, the daily support in our dialogues and in our agreements. The everyday seat in which to read our faces and gestures to capture needs… and also happiness.

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Happiness is contagious. Let us not forget that it is a sensation, a part that goes to the most primitive part of our feeling (even though it may have evolutionarily more contemporary origins in our biological development).

Without this dimension, no emotional bond comes to fruition; Most likely, we will sink after a few months when we feel that cold that comes with emotional disconnection.

To conclude, let’s not hesitate to put each of these areas into practice. Attending to them, shaping them and making them present in our relationship will make us enjoy that bond for a long time.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Harley, Willard F. (2001). His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage, Fifteenth Anniversary Edition. Revell Publishing.Schoebi, Dominik & Randall, Ashley. (2015). Emotional Dynamics in Intimate Relationships. Emotion Review. 7. 10.1177/1754073915590620.Sels, L., Ceulemans, E., Bulteel, K., & Kuppens, P. (2016). Emotional Interdependence and Well-Being in Close Relationships. Frontiers in psychology, 7, 283. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00283Ursu, Andreea & Turliuc, Maria. (2018). EMOTIONS WITHIN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. AN OVERVIEW OF THE RESEARCH. 64. 223-236.

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