Emotional integrity: is it the secret to a healthy and lasting relationship?

Emotional integrity in a couple has to do with honesty, the ability to relate to the loved one in a respectful manner, sincerity and completeness. That firm adherence to the recognition of the other’s feelings, without judging, also knowing how to control one’s own selfishness, creates a mature and satisfactory bond.

Unfortunately, There are many people who lack this dimension or who exercise it sporadically. We know that integrity has to do with the ability to act correctly according to values. Upright is someone who is respectful, sincere and does good in any circumstance. Now, if we take this practice to the emotional field, things vary a little.

In this case, This form of honesty has a lot to do with emotional regulation and with that most intimate respect for oneself and, above all, for those in front of us.. It is validating other people’s needs, it is knowing what we feel and expressing it with courage and respect, even if those emotions are painful or complicated.

One can be a person of integrity and yet lack emotional integrity.

Emotional integrity in the couple: do you practice it?

It may seem contradictory, but We can fall in love with a person of integrity who, however, does not practice emotional integrity. How is this explained? Well, in a way one thing is not related to the other. Someone can be loyal, disciplined, consistent, respectful, noble and responsible. However, when he feels hurt, angry, frustrated or scared, he hides it.

People have an almost innate tendency to hide what we feel. This, as curious as it may be, is intensified in many relationships. One can suddenly get angry about something specific and not tell the other. Simply “wait” for him to discover it. There are those who avoid discussions, those who do not know how to handle stress and project it onto their loved one…

All of these are samples of recurrent and immature behaviors in many emotional relationships. One can be that brilliant person who always does the right thing on the social level, but in the relationship as a couple acts with the emotional intelligence of a 3-year-old child. Let’s now see what it means to know how to practice emotional integrity.

What you feel cannot always determine your behavior

Emotional integrity is directly related to respect and self-respect. If we always let ourselves be carried away by what we feel, we will act impulsively in many cases.. It is very easy to regret decisions and actions committed when we act motivated by negatively valenced emotions.

In this way, in a relationship, authentic respect is also exercised by being able to regulate those more complicated emotions. The loved one cannot be that container into which to pour daily frustrations. Emotional integrity is self-control and this is something we must learn as soon as possible.

Difficult situations are not avoided, they are resolved between two

If there is something that establishes distances in a relationship, it is the tendency of one of the two members to avoid difficult situations. There are those who prefer to avoid problems. Others escape from the discussions and prefer to let the days pass so that things “supposedly” resolve themselves.

Practicing emotional integrity in a couple is also knowing how to reach agreements, listen to the other, propose solutions, face any difficulty between two and not avoid or burden the other with all responsibility.

Be consistent between what you do and what you say

Research from the University of Michigan highlights the importance of congruence in emotional integrity. Having a partner who is always consistent with what they feel, think and do gives us confidence. It gives us security.

We feel calm because we assume that we are with someone who, under certain circumstances, will always act the same way. Living with someone who is unpredictable, who does the opposite of what he says, who tells us things that he does not feel is not someone with integrity.

People who are consistent with what they think, feel and do provide security and calm because they are far from impulses.

Emotional integrity is above all practicing honesty

What do we mean by honesty in relationships? Is make use of that sincerity with which one is able to reveal their deepest feelings to the other. It is being able to explain those most confusing and painful emotions to the person you live with; even if it costs, even if we don’t find the words.

Is not easy. It is not because, sometimes, we believe that it is better not to share our fears with our partner. We are afraid to show ourselves vulnerable, to speak with an open heart, to reveal ourselves as we are, leaving out what is inside.. We fear not being understood or being judged incorrectly.

However, if we want to build a meaningful, sincere and happy bond, it is necessary to use this type of integrity. It is a daily exercise that will inject well-being and authenticity into the relationship we have opted for. It’s worth a try.

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