Emotional illiteracy: when our brain lacks heart

Many people suffer from emotional illiteracy.. They are skilled in mastering multiple skills, have countless degrees and master’s degrees, but they do the same emotional management as a three-year-old child. This learning does not come from the factory and, whether we like it or not, it is a pending subject to which we should dedicate more resources…

Most of us know what the principles of good physical health are, namely: a balanced and as natural diet as possible, some exercise, sleeping between 7 and 9 hours every night and having regular medical check-ups to make sure everything is going well. .

However, if there is something that we neglect almost alarmingly, it is what is contained between our ears: the brain. Now, we are not referring to that set of nerve cells, structures and convolutions. We must focus attention on the indicators of our emotional healththat is, in that capacity to feel life and our relationships, in the state of that faculty to understand, control and modify our own and others’ emotional states…

The human being is much more than a series of linguistic, mathematical or technological skills.. We are, above all, social and emotional beings, dimensions that are often neglected., and even undervalued in educational institutions. Because, let’s admit it, knowing how to solve a quadratic equation will be of little use to us if we are incapable, for example, of communicating effectively and empathizing with those around us.

What is emotional illiteracy?

We know that The term “illiteracy” has a negative connotation. However, we cannot call a psychosocial reality anything other than evident.. Let’s take an example, nowadays there is a lot of talk about the figure of transformative leaders. Of people capable of energizing an organization thanks to their good management of emotional intelligence, motivation, their gift to produce an impact on others and create environments where people can use their creativity.

Sometimes ideas are sold that in reality are conspicuous by their absence. Thus, it is quite common to find managers or business leaders incapable, not only of inspiring others, but also with zero ability to control their emotions, their frustration, their anger… They are like 3-year-old children angry at not getting what they want, completely situated in that egocentric thinking defined by Piaget at the time.

Let’s see, however, what dimensions characterize emotional illiteracy.

Inability to understand and manage one’s own emotions.Difficulty understanding those of others. This lack of emotional self-awareness often places them in very sensitive areas. They react excessively to any problem, they feel overwhelmed and overwhelmed by any difficulty, whether small or large.They do not empathize, they are incapable of placing themselves in the perspective of others, of understanding realities different from their own.Their social skills are very rigid and although they can sometimes function, they lack sensitivity, assertiveness and that authentic closeness with which to create meaningful bonds and not just relationships motivated by personal interest. On the other hand, The costs of emotional illiteracy can be enormous: polarized thinking, repression, racism or sexism, narcissism, obsessive need to be right…

Likewise, there is one no less important fact that should be remembered. Emotional illiteracythat is, this lack of psychological resources and emotional mechanisms with which to better manage dimensions such as sadness, anger, fear or disappointment, in turn makes us very more vulnerable to a series of mental disorders.

Thus, conditions such as depression or chronic anxiety states are very common in profiles with little or no ability to better manage these internal states.

The importance of educating in Emotional Intelligence

We know that it is already like a slogan: “We must educate ourselves in Emotional Intelligence”, we must train ourselves in these skills, be more apt in matters of emotions. We’ve heard it ad nauseum, we’ve read books, we’ve taken courses, and we nod our heads every time we’re reminded of the importance of having greater proficiency in this skill.

However, gaps still exist. Thus, and although this objective already appears in some educational curricula of certain schools, we cannot overlook something equally or more important. Before teachers and professors train children in mastering their thoughts and emotions, they too should be previously trained.

Often, We ourselves reach adulthood with a world of insecurities. We, too, wake up every day aware that we lack tools to master our emotions, as well as certain skills to better face adversity. In this way, if we do not first start with ourselves by becoming self-aware of our emotional illiteracy, we will hardly have the talent to motivate the little ones, to train them in empathy, assertiveness or social skills…

Good “emotional literacy” provides us with great benefits. Thus, something that we will learn first of all is that each emotion has its space and its usefulness, that differentiating between “negative” and “positive” emotions is not always correct, because in reality, Those states that we often avoid feeling, such as sadness or disappointment, have their spaces of knowledge, their usefulness and their valuable meaning.

We therefore do not escape from emotions, we face them to find out what they want to tell us. It is a sensational way of self-knowledge that gives us strengths, that offers our gaze a broader prism… while being flexible. Therefore, let us not ignore or despise the need to be “up to date” in matters of emotions. Let’s pay attention to those inner worlds where we know how to recognize, express, manage and transform those feelings so that they always flow in our favor and not against us…

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