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Does the Romeo and Juliet effect exist?

Many couples live under the Romeo and Juliet effect. But what is it really and how can you identify it?

Romeo and Juliet is a play by the well-known playwright Shakespeare that deals with a couple in love who fights against a series of problems that prevent them from being together. Despite their best efforts, they both end up committing suicide. As we see, a great tragedy. However, that impetus to stay together despite everything and even choose death before being separated is something that conditions many couples. This is called the Romeo and Juliet effect.

Effort, difficulties and struggle are ingredients that, instead of making its members in a relationship make the decision to separate and thus live in peace, become firewood that they use to fan the fire of passion present in falling in love. They need those ingredients to feel something for the other person. If they are missing, they may believe that they are no longer in love. Although this may seem absurd, it has a reason.

The dopamine present in the Romeo and Juliet effect

It is known that the habits of couples whose relationship is conditioned by the Romeo and Juliet effect are actually governed by dopamine.. A neurotransmitter, as the article points out Dopamine: synthesis, release of receptors in the Central Nervous System, which participates in the regulation of certain functions such as emotionality and affectivity. When an adverse situation occurs like the ones Romeo and Juliet experienced, dopamine increases.

The fact that the family is against the union of the lovers, that they have to marry secretly and then forcefully separate, generates a biochemical tension that, in some way, is addictive. All these events do nothing more than increase the production of dopamine, which has a series of consequences that only fuel passion between lovers:

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Greater opposition to adversity: the problems that arise and that try to separate the couple only allow new strategies to emerge to confront them.strong attachment: Attachment and the exaggerated feeling of wanting to be together increases more and more with each problem that arises and tries to separate the couple.

“I would rather die now than prolong my death if I do not have your love.”

Romeo and Juliet

Disenchantment in the Romeo and Juliet effect

It is clear that in the case of Romeo and Juliet The outcome is terrible. But we all have a doubt: What would have happened if the story continued with them? They would probably continue to fight against the constant attempts their family made to separate them. However, in the event that these were no longer there, disenchantment would most likely arise.

This happens to many couples who suffer from the Romeo and Juliet effect. At the moment when problems no longer mark their relationship, two things can happen: they invent them, generating absurd arguments, or they break up the relationship because they start to get bored.

Before, the couple was everything, they captured all the attention. But When dopamine is no longer present this changes, as the article indicates Neurobiology of lovecausing them to begin to notice other people with whom they can experience, again, that dopamine rush.

Dopamine addiction

Many people are addicted to dopamine. They are incapable of being in a relationship if there are no problems, difficulties and extreme situations that make them feel that rush and excitement. This is a big problem, because they usually believe that love is this, struggle and constant effort.

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If, in addition, there are circumstances in which third parties try to separate them from their partner, so much the better. But, although this initially enlivens the relationship, it can also end up wearing it down.

“Then love became doubt: there was nothing left but a goodbye, a goodbye, unforgettable.”

-Anna Bahena-

It is quite possible that we have experienced the Romeo and Juliet effect ourselves or have seen it in other people. Be that as it may, it is not healthy to be in a relationship like that.

What should move two people to be together is not problems, but tranquility and well-being. to create a balanced life together. And you, have you had relationships that have been under the Romeo and Juliet effect?

You might be interested…

All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Mansilla Izquierdo, F. (2002). Codependency and interpersonal psychotherapy. Journal of the Spanish Association of Neuropsychiatry, (81), 9-19.Molero Chamizo, A., Urbina, R., & Nathzidy, G. (2012). Brain and behavior: a review.Pérez F, Juan Manuel, & Orellana V, Gricel. (2007). Advances in the addiction clinic: the role of learning and dopamine. Medical Journal of Chile, 135(3), 384-391. https://dx.doi.org/10.4067/S0034-98872007000300015

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