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7 Things You Only Learn After the End of a Relationship

O awesome.club decided to share with you some of Tamsen’s observations, as there are many important issues that a person can only understand when experiencing a separation. With its help, in the future it will be easier for you to build a long and harmonious relationship. And we took the opportunity to also reveal what is best never to do.

1. Your world has not fallen. And it won’t even fall

At first, you will feel sorry for yourself, you will suffer, you will remember the good times and vent to friends and friends. You will spend a few hours without sleep and days on end without the slightest appetite. But the moment will come when you will say to yourself: “Enough!”. And with that, life will move on.

Tamsen believes the first 90 days after a breakup are the hardest, and she calls them “survival mode.” She advises never to rush, but to observe your surroundings, get rid of what depresses you and, above all, pay attention to your health and physical appearance.

2. You have to know yourself

In the relationship, maybe you have diluted yourself so much in the other that you ended up abandoning yourself, neglecting your interior. Remember how your time was used, what you did on weekends, where you traveled on vacation? Always wanted to keep doing it, but ended up giving up just because the other person didn’t like your shows?

So it’s time for you to just do what you like. Find more friends again, meet new people and increase your social circle.

3. Eat, Pray, Unplug

Not everyone has the opportunity to travel, like Julia Roberts’ character in the movie “Eat, Pray, Love”. However, you can try a new recipe or meditate without leaving the city where you live. Tamsen also advises that the newly separated disconnect: at least one hour a day, stay away from electronic devices and remain silent. This will give you a chance to catch your breath and observe what is happening around you, understanding what you want for the future.

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Maybe it’s not worth adopting a strategy as drastic as Anne Hathaway’s in the movie “The Devil Wears Prada”, who throws her phone into a fountain. Although anything goes to feel free, don’t you think?

4. Alone, so what?

One of the main reasons that make us “hold on” to a relationship is the fear of loneliness. The idea of ​​going to the cinema alone (or having dinner alone in a restaurant, or spending the weekend alone…) can be seen as embarrassing, depressing and frightening. But the truth is, we fear being alone with our own thoughts and feelings.

It’s not because a person is alone at a certain moment that he should feel lonely. This can be an opportunity for you to get to know yourself better and, as we said, to do whatever you want, here and now. Remember Keira Knightley’s character in the movie “One Night Only”? About to get married, not feeling happy, secretly dreaming of another man… we can imagine how a relationship that starts like that ends, right?

5. The only way to “they lived happily ever after” is “to be happy with yourself”

Ellen Burstyn once said, “To discover that loneliness can be a little lonely is a very pleasant surprise.” It’s important to know who you can trust, but it’s equally important to trust yourself. Voice your concerns out loud: this will decrease activity in the brain areas responsible for pain perception.

It will be impossible to find the “ideal person” if you don’t belong. Before looking for a new partner, understand yourself, understand your desires and needs. In the movie “Yes Sir”, Jim Carrey’s character only finds happiness when he understands his own life.

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6. To find the right person, you have to let go of the wrong one

The path ends when the goal is reached. This also applies to relationships. Two people meet and learn something together, and learn from each other by being each other’s teachers. And when the “class” is over, the relationship burns out. And although this moment is almost always associated with sadness, it is the price to be paid for you to move to a new level of spiritual development.

Put an end to the previous relationship before starting another love affair. Otherwise, your new partner may not find a place in your life. Sometimes, you have to burn all the bridges and completely change your surroundings, as Cameron Diaz did in the movie “Love Doesn’t Take A Vacation”, to feel like opening your heart again.

7. All paths open before you

As Michael Jackson sang in the song Man in the Mirror, “If you want to make the world a better place. Take a look at yourself and then make a change.” Maybe you had some plans or had a certain dream before meeting your loved one, but life made you reconsider your priorities. Now, no one can limit you, so you can safely put your dreams into practice.

Bonus: the 5 mistakes most committed after the end of a relationship

It’s common to take strange actions, not only because of the feelings that appear when we lose that ex, but also because we want to do something to not be paralyzed, involved in negative emotions.

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The following are the most frequent mistakes people make when they become single:

Replace the full stop with an ellipsis: send the last message, have the last conversation, the last discussion. Going to bed with the first person who crosses your path, as if to show that you are still successful in the “body market”. Public embarrassment, shedding bitter tears and “All men are equal” wails. Spying on your ex on social media. Or even worse: in real life. Get revenge on the ex in every possible way and intimidate his current one, as Uma Thurman’s character in “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” did.

Be that as it may, it is worth remembering that the end of a relationship is not the end of the world, but an opportunity to come to conclusions, be grateful for the happy days lived and move on. Have you ever lived the experience of a relationship that ended against your will? What advice could you give someone who is going through the same situation? Leave your opinions in the comments!

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