Do you know dependent personality disorder?

Dependent personality disorder is fundamentally characterized by persistent and excessive need for care. This entails behavior characterized by submission and attachment, as well as a deep fear of abandonment and the consequent anxiety about separation.

How many times have we encountered people who are unable to separate from their partners, even though they know that the relationship is harmful or brings them more inconveniences than benefits? How many people do we know who are incapable of making decisions without obtaining the opinion of those close to them beforehand? Who doesn’t know someone who demands care almost permanently, exasperating the people around them?

Well, these people could be suffering from a dependent personality disorder (although not necessarily, of course). But first of all, what exactly is personality? What do we refer to when we talk about personality? Let’s define this starting point and then dive into dependent personality disorder.

Let’s talk about personality

Personality is a complex organization of cognitions, emotions and behaviors that gives orientations and patterns (coherence) to a person’s life. Like the body, personality is made up of both structures and processes and reflects both nature (genes) and learning (experience).
Furthermore, personality encompasses the effects of the past, including memories of the past, as well as instructions for the present and the future. In other words, Personality is a set of characteristics or patterns that define a person; That is, it encompasses the peculiar arrangement of feelings, thoughts, attitudes and behaviors that we treasure/manifest and that make us unique compared to others.

What is dependent personality disorder?

Now that we know more or less what personality is and how psychology defines it, we are in a position to address one of its alterations or disorders.

As we said before, Dependent personality disorder is primarily characterized by a dominant and excessive need to be cared for., which leads to submissive and exaggerated attachment behavior, and fear of separation. It begins in the early stages of adulthood and is present in various contexts (e.g., work, family, leisure, etc.).

Its most important features are the following:

Fear of not knowing how to take care of yourself

This pattern begins in adulthood and appears in a variety of contexts. Dependency and submissive behaviors are designed to obtain caregiving. These people have a firm belief that they are incapable of functioning properly without the help of others.

People with dependent personality disorder have great difficulties in making everyday decisions (for example, choosing the color of pants to go to work, whether or not to carry an umbrella in case it rains, etc.) without an excessive amount of advice and approval from others.

These individuals They tend to be passive and allow other people to take the initiative and take responsibility for most major areas of your life. You might think that this only happens to young people. However, it also happens to adults.

Adults with dependent personality disorder, They usually depend on a parent or spouse who decides where they should live, what kind of job they should have, and who they should be friends with. Adolescents with this disorder may allow their parents to decide how they should dress, who they should associate with, how they should spend their free time, and what career they should study.

This need for others to take responsibility exceeds what would be appropriate for their age. It also exceeds what would be appropriate for your need for help in situations where intervention from others would be appropriate.

Dependent personality disorder can develop in a person who has a serious medical condition or disability. In these cases, the difficulty in assuming responsibility must exceed what would normally be expected for people with that condition or disability.

Fear of losing relationships with others

Because people with dependent personality disorder fear losing the support or approval of others, they often have difficulty expressing disagreement with other people. This is especially so with those on whom they depend.

These individuals feel so unable to function alone that They can agree on things they think are wrong. They do not risk losing the help of those from whom they seek guidance.

This people They also do not show their anger to the people from whom they receive support and care for fear that they will distance themselves from them.. If the individual has a real concern regarding the consequences of expressing disagreement, the behavior should not be considered evidence of dependent personality disorder.

Difficulty starting new projects without help

People with dependent personality disorder have difficulties starting projects or doing things independently. They lack self-confidence and believe that they need help to begin and carry out tasks.

They will wait for other people to start things because they believe others can do them better. This people They are convinced that they are incapable of functioning independently.

They appear inept and in constant need of help. However, they tend to function adequately if they are given the assurance that someone is supervising them and giving them approval. They may be afraid of appearing competent: they think that adding a layer of competence to the image they project will lead to abandonment. They often do not learn the skills to live autonomously, thus perpetuating dependency.

Capable of anything to obtain care

People with dependent personality disorder They may go to extreme lengths to obtain the care and support of others. They may even volunteer for unpleasant tasks if such behavior provides them with the care they need.

They are willing to lend themselves to whatever others want, even if the requests are unreasonable.. Their need to maintain an important bond causes unbalanced or distorted relationships. In this sense, they may sacrifice themselves in extraordinary ways or tolerate verbal, physical or sexual abuse. They feel uncomfortable or helpless when they are alone. This is due to their exaggerated fear of the idea of ​​having to take care of themselves.

People with dependent personality disorder They will “stick” to significant others just to avoid being aloneeven if they are not interested or involved in what is happening.

Relationship chaining

When a relationship ends (for example, the death of the caregiver, a relationship breakup, etc.), They may urgently seek another relationship that will provide them with the care and support they need.

Their belief that they are unable to function without a close relationship motivates these people to attach quickly and indiscriminately to another individual.

Concern about having to take care of yourself alone

People with this disorder worry about having to take care of themselves. They find themselves so dependent on the advice and help of others, that They worry about the possibility that the other person will abandon them even when there are no reasons to justify such fears.

These fears must be excessive and unrealistic. For example, an older man with cancer, who moves into his son’s home to care for him, is engaging in dependent behavior that is appropriate given the circumstances of this person’s life.

Characteristics associated with dependent personality disorder

People with dependent personality disorder often They are characterized by pessimism and doubt. They tend to belittle their abilities and resources, and may constantly refer to themselves as “useless.” They take criticism and disapproval as proof of their lack of worth and lose faith in themselves. They seek overprotection and domination of others.

Occupational performance can be affected when initiative and autonomy are required. They tend to avoid positions of responsibility and feel anxious when faced with making decisions. Social relationships tend to be limited to the few people with whom the individual is dependent.. There is an increased risk of depressive disorders, anxiety disorders, and adjustment disorders.

Dependent personality disorder often develops along with other personality disorders, especially borderline, avoidant, and histrionic. Later we will see their differences. Chronic physical condition or separation anxiety disorder in childhood or adolescence predisposes the individual to develop this disorder.

Who does dependent personality disorder affect and what does it cause?

Women go to psychology consultations more for this problem, although some studies indicate that It occurs in the same proportion in men as in women.

On the other hand, there are a series of factors that can contribute to the development of this disorder.

Genetic factors. If someone in your family has had a similar disorder, that could be the origin.Psychobiological factors. There is a neurological imbalance between the limbic and reticular systems.Psychosocial factors. Dependent people seek to obtain protective relationships. They had authoritarian and overprotective parents.

How can we differentiate dependent personality disorder from other personality disorders?

Although many personality disorders are characterized by dependent characteristics, dependent personality disorder It can be distinguished because people who suffer from it behave in a submissive, reactive and excessively attached manner.

Both dependent and borderline personality disorders are characterized by fear of abandonment. However, the person with borderline personality disorder reacts to abandonment (or the anticipation of it) with feelings of emotional emptiness, anger, and demands. The person with dependent personality disorder reacts by increasing his or her appeasement and submission.anxiously and hastily seeking a relationship that replaces care and support.

Borderline personality disorder is distinguished by a typical pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships. People with histrionic personality disorder, like dependents, have a strong need for security and approval and may appear childish and clingy. However, unlike dependent personality disorder, which is characterized by humble and docile behavior, histrionic personality disorder exhibits…