Curving, the hidden rejection on the networks

Social networks have created their own language, which is not always clear to newbies, and even to “seniors.” He curving It is part of these new interaction trends within the framework of virtuality. This is a practice that already existed in the face-to-face world, but has become more evident and incisive on the Internet.

He curving It’s a subtle way of ignoring or break up with another person, in a way so politically correct that it usually goes unnoticed. A subtle rejection, but not appropriate or pleasant. In some cases it even becomes a form of manipulation.

The best way to distance ourselves from someone is the direct way. Our communication capacity puts at our disposal a good number of expressions with which we can share this idea. He curvingas its name indicates, does not follow that straight line, but rather runs along a winding and extraordinarily exhausting path.

curving

He curving manifests itself in different ways. The most common is what some call “letting you know.” That is, one person sends a message and the other sees it, but does not respond, at least immediately. It takes days, and even weeks, and in the end he answers. The usual thing is that he does it with expressions that denote disinterest.

The latter can also often occur. It happens when the other does respond to the message quickly, but He does it with words that suggest an eagerness to end the conversation.. It is also possible that he says kind phrases, but at the same time superfluous and lacking real warmth.

At the opposite extreme is that other person who insists because he does not interpret well what is happening. You may think that your interlocutor is having a bad day or a bad week or a bad month. Assume that the other does want to maintain communication, but circumstances prevent it. In fact, many of those who practice curving They say that: “I’m sorry I didn’t answer you sooner, but I was very busy.”

From curving to manipulation

Sometimes he curving It is only maintained for a short period of time, specifically until the holder of those attitudes can realize what is happening and understand that there is not much to do there and stops insisting. This is always the healthiest. However, There is also the possibility that this imprecise game continues over time.

The latter occurs when one of the interlocutors decisively adopts an ambiguous attitude. He doesn’t respond quickly and doesn’t respond with genuine interest to interactions, but from time to time he may show signs of interest. From time to time you have real conversations and this encourages your interlocutor to continue looking for that person.

Who exercises the curving In this way he indicates that he does it because he does not want to hurt the other or because he is tired of giving and not receiving. It is very likely that he is not entirely aware that Acting in this way has a clear name: manipulation. Why do two people, almost always adults, enter this maze?

Anguish as a basis

People who practice curving in a manipulative way they need the other. For this reason, they do not want to completely lose the bond with their interlocutor, but neither do they want to allow it to advance and deepen.

However, It is also possible that they themselves are victims of a form of separation anxiety.. In that case, “losing” the other places them in a kind of mourning. They don’t want to stop receiving these signs of interest and affection because they need them. What they don’t do is practice reciprocity.

Something similar to the one you insist on may happen to you, despite the signs of rejection. Insistence often becomes a way of processing forms of anguish that are latent.. Perhaps they are not that interested in the other, but voluntarily submitting to that cycle of acceptances and rejections “helps” them overcome an existential void. He curvingfrom side to side, speaks of a lack of honesty with oneself.

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