“Conscious” love and emotional maturity

Throughout our lives, we have been sold the call “romantic love” almost constantly. We have read it in dozens of novels, we have surrendered to it in a thousand and one movies, hundreds of television series and even through fashion and advertising.

Could we then say that “romantic love” is a kind of scam? Maybe not so much, or maybe yes… However, we could define it more as an “unconscious love”, since in a certain way, it is nothing more than an idealization of emotional relationships. There where we establish a very intense attachment and a mutual dependency that almost never ends well.

It is not good to idealize love or fantasize about who our ideal partner should be. Possibly, we will never find it if we live according to that perfect pattern that we dream for ourselves. Sometimes it is often said that “True love does not come suddenly towards oneself, but rather, it starts from our own interior.”

That is to say, The perfect relationship must be built in a “conscious” way, with effort, dedication and emotional maturity.

The “conscious” love that does not fear loneliness

Let’s talk about “conscious” love. If you have never heard this expression, it is worth delving into it through a few brushstrokes that will immediately stage the canvas of those emotional relationships that we want to describe to you:

-The couples who be they love in a “conscious” way, They do not see themselves as half halves, as orange halves that need to come together to be “one person.” Absolutely. They are complete people who do not fear loneliness, “they are whole oranges” who offer their fullness and emotional maturity freely to the couple, to make each other happy.

-The people who establish “Unconscious” relationships are generally immature. They look for other people to fill their emotional voids, to find a balance in their problems and, in turn, establish a type of generally toxic attachment. To do this, they do not hesitate to manipulate, to establish subtle blackmail because above all, they fear being left alone again, alone in that immaturity that they have not yet been able to resolve.

-However, people who see themselves as complete and who are lucky enough to find partners equally emotionally mature, are capable of creating that “conscious” love, where everything flows normally. There are no demands, there are no gaps to cover, there is only mutual trust and understanding where, day by day, true love will be built. Not an ideal. The authentic one.

How to establish a conscious relationship

Is it possible to establish emotional bonds that really work? Of course. Establishing a relationship based on conscious love must first start not from a need “to cover an emotional void”, since it is not about searching, because the moment we use this word it is as if we were evidencing a lack, a need.

It’s about waiting, letting ourselves go on that path where the most important thing is, first of all, ourselves. Enjoy yourself, your experiences, the day to day in which you learn everything, where you enrich yourself as a person to mature inside. Love will come when it has tobut don’t strive to create an ideal, to look for the perfect person.

To understand it better, take note of the following tips:

1. The best thing is that you don’t get obsessed with looking for the perfect person. Start with yourself, create first the person you truly want to be.

2.Build your emotional balance, reinforce your self-esteemdefend your values.

3- It is important that learn to be alone, to understand that loneliness is not something harmful or dangerous. Don’t force anyone to be by your side just because you fear them.

4. Never lose your hope or innocence to start new relationships. Don’t be afraid to make the same mistakes of the past, you have learned great lessons and you know very well what you need.

5. We know that, in some way, we all have an ideal of what our perfect partner could be. It is something that no one can avoid. However, if you are very clear about what you want to find, First of all, be the person you would like to have by your side… In the end, the right person will reflect on you.

6. Finally, always keep one aspect in mind: You deserve to be loved fully. Never doubt it.

In sum, it’s about cultivating emotional intelligence and self-love. Only in this way can we establish healthy, conscious and lasting relationships.

Image Courtesy: Benjamin Lacombe