Change the meaning – 7th way

Seventh Form – Changing the Meaning – Saying a Contrary Example

Ressignifying means meaning again, meaning again. Reframing is a term widely used in NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, as reframing is a very useful technique to change meanings and senses that are bad for us.

In fact, we could say that this is the core of the work of every therapist and every psychologist.

When we say a sentence, we construct a meaning that is present in the sentence itself. Maybe one sentence just doesn’t matter. But there are phrases that represent the fate of individuals. Phrases with which each of us thinks of the world and himself.

The book Mind lines, minds for changing minds, by Michael Hall, presents very interesting examples.

Imagine a woman who thinks she is extremely ugly. Because she thinks she is ugly, she says the following sentence: “I am very ugly, I will never find a husband because of that”. (And she really wants to get married).

This is a phrase, a thought that will create a certain future for this woman. Thinking in this way, she will not seek or even refuse contact with men.

Milton Erikson, a well-known American psychologist, had a patient who thought this way. To help her, Erikson asked her to buy a National Geographic magazine – which features people from various cultures around the world.

The woman left the session and bought the magazine. Looking at the magazine, she looked at different women, women she thought were ugly. But these women were married.

Erikson’s patient therefore heard an example contrary to the meaning she had created.

Think of someone who says the following: “I was born poor, I will always be poor.” We can tell this person thousands of examples of people who were born poor, but who became rich with his work like Silvio Santos. Or even our ex-President Lula, who was born poor and not only managed to get ahead, but was President of the 6th richest country in the world for two terms.

The seventh form of reframing, therefore, is extremely simple. It is often used by people when they say: “Don’t think like that… see the example of so-and-so…” “Don’t say that, remember that time the opposite happened?”

Michael Hall’s book also gives the examples below, using Descartes’ logic:

Quote: “You being late means you don’t care”

1) Was there ever a time when someone was late and did they care?

2) Was there ever a time when you weren’t late and you cared?

3) Was there ever a time when you were late and didn’t care?

4) Was there ever a time when you weren’t late and didn’t care?

In these 4 ways of inverting the sentence, we would have in the sentence: “I am ugly and I will not be able to marry”:

1) Was there ever a time when someone ugly got married?

2) Was there ever a time when someone pretty didn’t get married?

3) Was there ever a time when someone beautiful got married?

4) Was there ever a time when someone ugly didn’t get married?

Yet another way is to create a universal question: “What is beauty?” or “What is ugliness?” (Interesting to note that ugliness, as well as heroic and idea no longer have an accent). In general, we do not know how to answer universal questions, and not knowing how to answer can help to reframe.

In the next posts, we’ll see ways to resignify that are linked to time.

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