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Bitter people: psychological characteristics and how to understand them

Surely you have ever met people with toxic behavior towards others, and you have thought, what bitterness! But what is behind these bitter people? How to understand them better?

Having to face bad-tempered people can be uncomfortable and even intimidating. And it is that These are complex situations. in which many times we do not know how to act. However, dealing with bitter people is not necessarily as difficult a challenge as you may think.

We all go through some bad days in which our attitude is not the best. However, there are people who constantly live in this state, projecting bitterness all the time, even in the supposed moments that “should” be happy. Let’s find out more about these types of people!

“All our discontent for what we lack comes from our lack of gratitude for what we have.”

-Daniel Defoe-

What are bitter people like?

Surely you have encountered someone who is bitter at some point in your life. It is even likely that in many moments you have not exactly been the scene of joy. But do you know what bitterness is? Don’t worry, we will explain it to you here.

Bitterness is a fairly complex mix of emotions, among which sadness and anger stand out.. This does not mean that when we all feel anger or sadness we become bitter people. This happens when we cannot manage them assertively and instead of draining these emotions and releasing them, we keep them, turning them into resentment along the way.

What generates bitterness?

Disappointment, feeling betrayed, feelings of injustice or failure to meet expectations They can produce bitterness. This directly affects all areas of life, with a negative impact on interpersonal relationships.

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These types of people usually play with guilt. It costs them a world to assume their responsibilities, searching for and pointing out in their environment those who they understand or identify as the cause of their misfortunes.

Why are bitter people like this?

Understanding why a person is bitter can become quite a research task. And we are talking about various factors that influence the appearance of bitterness, and also about people who tend to be very reserved and put various tests to others before opening up.

However, there is a general aspect that we can mention: inadequate management of your emotions. Bitterness is often just the form that anger, disappointment, or sadness takes.

Other causes that explain the behavior of these people

Contained and ignored anger can also be a major factor in the emergence of bitterness. Having experienced situations of injustice that were left unresolved can help bitterness arise.

Bitter people remain stuck in events from their past in which they experienced emotions that made them feel bad. By not being skilled in managing this discomfort, they have been trapped in a state from which they are not able to get out.

“There would be less bitterness down here if men did not spend so much effort remembering old pains, instead of enduring the present ones with fortitude.”

-Goethe-

Common Attitudes and Psychological Characteristics of Bitter People

Bitter people often show repetitive behaviors, such as:

Blame others for everything that happens.Believing in advance that everything they do is going to turn out very badly. Complaint is a constant in their life.They constantly complain about anythingThey tend to perceive themselves as the victims in all situations. Their topics of conversation revolve around negative things and problems.They tend to distance themselves from people, so they are generally very lonely. They seek to emotionally hurt others. Many times for no apparent reason. They have constant arguments with their partners and family. They are selfish. Their interests are above those of others. They create hostile environments in their frequent places such as home and work.

What can we do?

Having any type of interaction with a bitter person is quite difficult and can even put us in a very bad mood as well. However, It is important that you keep in mind that, generally, bitter people do not live in that state all day. So, what to do?

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There are specific moments in which the bitterness is much worse and precisely in those moments the best we can do is avoid interacting with them.Understand that bitter people do not have conflicts only with you; It’s their way of relating. Don’t take it personally. Empathy. We know that it can be very complex to deal with someone who is bitter, but try to see beyond their negative attitudes. Understanding is key to knowing that you are not doing it because you are bad.Don’t let him use passive-aggressive behaviors with you. This is one of the most notable qualities of bitter people and it is important that you stop this type of behavior to avoid problems. Always speak from a place of understanding, but be firm. Set limits regarding his attitudes towards you, but with your mind and heart open to try to understand why he acts that way.

That aura of discouragement that the people around us carry at a certain moment can cause us great discomfort. Even our greatest temptation may be to walk away to avoid this erosion, almost obligatory, when this situation occurs.

In this article, however, we have seen some strategies that we can use if we dare to try to improve the mood of the other.

You might be interested…

All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Goleman, D. (1996) Emotional intelligence. Kairós Editorial.Moya-Albiol L, Herrero N & Bernal MC. (2010). Neural bases of empathy. Rev Neurol, 50, 89-100.Pedrajas, N. et al. (sf). Emotional management: the first steps from childhood.Sober, E. (1998). Psychological egoism. Isegoría, (18), 47-70

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