Being with someone empty also counts as loneliness

They say that The world is full of empty people, bodies with hollow souls that need to feed on the feelings of others to feel useful, and important in their solitude. Alive, after all.

There are several types of loneliness. The one that we appreciate most is the one that allows us to get in touch with ourselves to listen to ourselves, and please ourselves as skilled creatures who know how to take care of their self-love.

However, If there is a type of loneliness that is as destructive as it is dangerous, it is the one we feel sharing time, life and moments with people who are important to us. , and yet, they are empty. And of course, they are important because we have chosen them freely, because we have projected emotions and even intense feelings onto them, until little by little, we begin to realize that there are things that fail, that cause harm.

Understanding the process by which we can fall in love, for example, with an empty person is something complex. And yet, there are times when in our social circle we also have friends with this trait, and even very close family members are and continue to be empty people. What should we do in the face of this weakness of emotions, in the face of this lack of empathy and reciprocity towards ourselves and our integrity? Let’s see it in detail.

Emotional loneliness in empty people

Alexandre Dumas used to say that his father often complained about empty people. He defined them as pitchers. “The emptier they are, the more noise they make.” With this very symbolic phrase, we already sense that this type of personality tends to be very noticeable, they do not go unnoticed in our lives, nor do they leave us indifferent.

Now, why do we define them like this, with those gaps? What is behind this type of behavior?

1. Lack of emotional reciprocity

We are not going to debate here about the existence or not of the soul, which is the first thing that is usually thought of when we talk about empty people. Let us therefore understand the void as the “non-existence” of a series of basic dimensions.

They are incapable of projecting themselves onto others to understand, to empathize. and understand the personal perspective of the person in front of them. Their behavior is based on a set of unconscious rules where priority for oneself, and the search to meet one’s needs, are essential. We say unconscious because they always act automatically, without evaluate the results, because there is no room for misunderstandings in his personality. Making mistakes is a weakness they cannot allow.Empty people are not good listeners, nor opening up to others. If at any time they do it, it is to seek their own benefit.

2. Need to submit and “attach” to someone more emotional than them

In your world, They only seek to pull the strings so that others fill their unfathomable voids, so that they cover their shortcomings by manipulating other people’s emotions. However, there will never be generosity, altruism or joy of life, because in empty people there are no middle ground or balance.

They tend to oscillate in extremes, in all or nothing, in excessive love to cover a need, to the most absolute indifference when it has been satiated, covering you with the mantle of emotional loneliness.

How to face life with empty people?

It is possible that the first thing you are thinking about is marking distance, moving away.. Now, we are talking about emotions, and in general, about relationships that we establish with people who are significant to us. Everything takes a process, in which, we will be ourselves and after having invested time and appropriate strategies, we will decide if we have to break that relationship or not.

We will find different types of relationships. There are empty people with whom we will get along better and others with whom we will get along worse. It is up to us to establish this valuation. What does each one of them give us? Some of these people are not aware of their lack of vision for others, but we can see glimpses of a good heart. If we have a good relationship with them, perhaps it is time to sit down and have a sincere and friendly conversation.

Letting someone see their “flaws” is not always negative. On many occasions, someone approaches us to correct something they think we are doing wrong. Through his advice we can think to what extent he is right or if he simply intends to cause some harm. On the other hand, if the empty person is unable to reflect on himself and does not transmit any type of positive emotion to us, it is still time to let go and let go.

That is to say, sometimes, one type of personality can fit well with another, however, there is something that we must be clear about: People don’t change from one day to the next no matter how much we want them to. They are day-to-day life and our own emotional balance and our integrity, the main warning markers that we must protect at all times.

How to prepare?

Let’s now see what resources we can put into practice:

Before family: If in your closest circle you have a father, mother or siblings who act cold and empty, deactivate to the extent you can the importance they have in your daily life. Take away their importance and authority in your life.Don’t make the mistake of acting like them. Always show yourself with full integrity, confronting words and situations, making it clear who you are, and what defines you.In emotional relationships: If today you are already aware that your partner is a very empty person, tell him how you feel and what you are able to accept and what you cannot.

You are not an empty being, you have emotions that must be reciprocated, emotional needs and reciprocity. If none of this is attended to, there are no changes: then reflect on what your next step should be.

There is no worse loneliness than that of those who only give us formless affection. A world of emptiness.

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