Anger, that emotion that controls me

Anger is an emotion that can vary in intensity. Therefore, it can be experienced as a slight irritation or as a very intense fury. In the latter case, that is, when there is extreme rage, this emotion is accompanied by physiological changes, such as increased heart rate and blood pressure; as well as an elevation of certain hormones in the blood.

How anger is expressed

Anger is the natural response to threats, aggression or as a fighting and defensive behavior when we are attacked. But, while it is true that a certain amount of anger is necessary for our survival, we cannot attack every person who bothers or irritates us, because social norms, moral values ​​and common sense prevail.

Show angry feelings in a non-aggressive way, that is, assertively is the healthy way to express anger. But always making it clear what your needs are and how to obtain them without harming others.

Therefore, The maladaptive way to express anger is to respond aggressively. And not only towards others, through gestures, insults or actions; but also towards oneself. When a person does not know how to channel that external fury and represses it, the anger can turn inward.

This tension can lead to hypertension, increased heart rate, and even a host of symptoms related to anxiety or depression. Besides, The behavior of the affected person may begin to obey a passive-aggressive patternthat is, a way of taking revenge on people indirectly, without telling them why and based on hostility.

It should be noted that People who are criticizing all the time and all people have not learned to express their anger in a constructive way. Therefore, they are not likely to be successful in their personal relationships. You will therefore have to learn to control both your external behavior and your internal tension.

How to control anger

There are some tools that can help you control those anger outbreaks that are affecting your relationships. Likewise, it can allow you to better manage your emotions. These are some ideas, put them into practice!

1. Relaxation

Breathe deeply from your diaphragm to relax and slowly repeat a calm word such as relax either calm. And visualize relaxing images, which help your muscles release tension… This will make you feel much calmer. Practice these techniques daily, and especially in tense situations..

2. Cognitive restructuring

If you need it, consult a specialist to help you Detect those negative thoughts that paralyze you and change them for more adaptive ones. It seems easy, but, sometimes, identifying those dysfunctional beliefs that undermine us every day are not so obvious. This way you will learn to manage your anger.

3. Solve problems

When you get caught up in trying to find a solution to a problem and it seems unattainable, you can choose to adopt a different point of view. Instead of trying to tirelessly search for solutions, you can start focusing in the way of managing and facing the problem. Do I get angry when I don’t find the solution quickly? Do I pay it with others? Do I notice that I sleep worse when I don’t solve a problem?

4. Good communication

The first thing you should do if you are in a heated argument is to take a deep breath. It’s difficult, because at that moment we are usually angry and controlling ourselves is the last thing we think about. But if we calmly think about what we want to say and listen carefully to what the other person is saying, we can prevent the situation from becoming a disaster.

We hope that all these tools will help you better control your anger and thus improve your relationships and the communication you have with the people around you. Put them into practice, be aware and you will see how you will soon notice the expected results.

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