A second chance?

Calling ourselves “inept” is common when we cannot achieve a goal, when the goal we set is further away, when we make an “unforgivable” mistake. This may be because There is no one better than ourselves to know our limitations and weaknesses, to recognize if we have tried our best or could perform a little more.

Without a doubt, we cannot escape our inner judge. This is not negative if we know how to take advantage of it appropriately, that is, if it helps us cross limits and grow as people. There are times when this jury is too severe and strict, other times rigid and unbreakable. That’s where we cross the (very thin) line that divides constructive criticism from destructive judgments. At that moment is when we think and decide to “throw in the towel”, “plant a white flag” or whatever you want to call the act of believing that we have lost the battle and everything is over.

However, giving ourselves a second chance is worth it, in all cases. When we are inflexible judges all the time, it is likely that we are not only harming ourselves, but also others, those around us, the people we love most. We are not always aware of it, we do not realize how unhappy we are or that our mind sets traps for us that we easily fall into.

-Being very demanding: If the goal is too high, there is a greater chance that you will not be able to reach it. Realistic demands are those that lead “to success”, but this does not mean that the pressure to do more does not work, quite the opposite. The best thing is to establish intermediate goals to be able to make them a reality and continue moving forward. Otherwise, demands become a glass, through which we value not only our abilities, but that of others. We close the doors to be happy and have a “second chance”.

-By living in the past: Many people cannot look into the future because they are too comfortable observing what happened before. The fear of leaving the comfort zone is very common and that is why we prefer to live with memories. The problem is that this decision is not rewarding and can leave us alone, without anyone to support or help us.

-By self-denigration: We may grade ourselves based on the mistakes or mistakes we make. We “label” ourselves to harm ourselves, our self-esteem falls to underground levels, we fill ourselves with feelings of guilt and failure, etc. It is a subtle and at the same time effective mechanism, through which the only thing we do is explain to ourselves why we “cannot” move forward.

How to give ourselves a second chance?

1 – Stay calm: Give ourselves time to heal, because you can’t put a band-aid on a deep cut. Stay active in order to meet new people, express our feelings, improve at every step. When we are hurt or something bad has happened in our life (such as a big failure), we must immediately take the next step, as long as we feel confident about it. Sometimes time is the best medicine to heal us. It is necessary to be attentive to find the right balance and know when to brake and when to continue.

2 – Be open to possibilities: A very common mistake (and one of the most serious) is to close ourselves off from receiving help, from a new opportunity that allows us to “see the sun behind the clouds.” Where we least expect it we can find a surprise, a word, something that totally changes our lives. Let us never lose the desire to discover, to marvel, to remain open to ideas and help.

3 – Learn from mistakes: This is not a cliché that everyone agrees to and then does not put into practice. It is necessary to keep in mind that past experiences give us the opportunity to become better people in every way, so as not to commit it again. Next time we will be more careful not to make mistakes. Successful people are measured not by their falls, but by their ability to get back up again and again.