9 Reasons Why an Adult Shouldn’t Live With Their Parents

First of all, we must say that today’s post it is not intended to condemn parents to loneliness, or to encourage teenagers to get out of the house as soon as possible. Wanting to leave home doesn’t make anyone a villain, and wanting a child to leave home doesn’t either. We just want to comment on the fact that sooner or later the time comes when children need to flap their wings and fly.

This passage has both positive and negative aspects for both parents and children. Let’s take a look at the topics that researchers Tim Carey, from Flinders University (Australia), and Leon F. Seltzer, from Cleveland State University (USA), found for this question.

O awesome.club not afraid of controversial topics. Today, we bring nine arguments in favor of exploring new challenges. Let’s go to them!

The emotional bond with the parents and mutual support are very important factors for coexistence. However, it is very different to live by other people’s rules and needs. Also, the family hierarchy does not change. When living in a territory dominated by parents since before we were born, it is natural that we have to give in. This happens in almost every domestic situation.

For example, some broken object is considered junk to you, but your parents think it might be good for something someday. So we can’t just throw it away. For that, we need to find other arguments and go through a series of conversations.

To live by your rules, it’s important to determine what they are. Recognizing that an object doesn’t matter is easier than evaluating family traditions. Some are respected just because they have always been there.

Scientists recommend looking for the difference between ‘want’ and ‘need’. Even if a family has a good relationship, parents and adult children may have different personalities. An independent territory allows children to better identify their habits and needs.

You will find that noodles, toilet paper and salt don’t come alone in the house. A person starts to act in a different way when he doesn’t have to behave according to the rules of other people (parents, for example), and starts to organize his life and take care of the smallest details. Some call this taking responsibility; others, to take care of their own lives.

But regardless of the name given, the point is that some personal finance and home budgeting classes (even if on the Internet) always go well.🇧🇷 When we don’t depend on our parents, we better understand the differences between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ when it comes to spending. If before we threw ourselves into any promotion, we came to understand that prudence is always the best path. After all, no one wants to buy a piece of clothing and then spend the whole month starving.

Parents also have their own interests and needs, and this is normal. Therefore, have the right to have time for themselves🇧🇷 In this case, both sides win: communication is not interrupted by arguments and tiresome dialogues are less frequent.

Also, in this way we can protect our parents from unnecessary worries. Suppose your boss has not given you the promised bonus and you are very angry, is it really necessary for your parents to notice your anger? Of course you can complain, but you don’t have to take your problems out on them.

If your family members know everything about your life, maybe you—and they—need a break. Over time, the situation can always get worse. Retired parents often have less social life and focus more on their children. They don’t look for new hobbies if the only source of ‘entertainment’ is indoors. In the end, you can become a moral hostage, you will start to feel ashamed of escaping excessive control (“They are my parents and they want the best for me”) and little by little you will get tired of accounting for every step you take. . In the end, you won’t be able to leave them alone when they’re older.

When parents begin to imagine (even if instinctively) that their children owe them an eternal debt, the family is likely to experience a toxic relationship. In such cases, parents try to keep their children in the family nest and do not allow them to have their own lives. What to do? Start by reading what some scientists say about it and how what comes next could be even worse.

These arguments prove themselves over time. Suppose a person has been working since the age of 25. In her mid-30s, she may ask herself the question: “Did I manage to save enough for an apartment of what size?”

If you don’t have an account for your savings, then the promise to save for an apartment has turned into a pretext to push through life in your parents’ house and never leave.

There is a valuable argument in favor of living together: the possibility of reducing fixed costs. For example, what is the difference between turning on the air conditioner for just one person or for several? It is also the same to put a piece of chicken in the oven or several, it will be lit in the same way, the expenses are the same.

Unfortunately, this scheme does not always work. In a large family, many products need to be purchased in bulk just to be on the safe side. Let’s imagine that there are leftovers from different dishes in the fridge. Of course, they can be divided among family members, but it’s more complicated to do so when each dish has a flavor, or when one of them looks more appetizing. In that case, you need to cook again. Who’s going to finish off yesterday’s soup when a fresh dish is coming out of the oven?

It is easier for a person to cut down on spending in many ways and food is one of them. When we are with family, the desire to please someone with something delicious always makes compulsive shopping appear.

Unfortunately, some people think that parenting territory is free of charge. It is important to understand that the family nest is just where we were born, but it also has obligations.

Of course, many children help clean the house and share the expenses. But here we come back to the aforementioned point about saving: sometimes, it pays to save more to have your own space. The important thing is that adult children who live with their parents understand that they need to help, simple as that.

Leaving the house doesn’t just offer more square meters. What are the expenses and benefits?

A miraculous push. If the person starts to live and understand the difficulties, he starts to move more actively towards his dreams. And on the list of needs is also rent. A person who lives alone always faces the dilemma of returning to their parents’ house or looking for another job to maintain the same lifestyle. The second option always assumes constant development.
Experience (read point 2).
Independence. You manage your time. There are no guilt feelings for fighting with your friends, a few dirty dishes won’t kill anyone; we can always leave it to sweep the room the next day. Of course all with an acceptable limit.
Much more personal development. Maybe your parents are sad to see you full of suitcases at the door. But soon they will realize how important this phase is. They will have one more reason to be proud.

When we start to live alone we begin to understand and tolerate some actions of our parents. For example, at 35 or so, we understand the importance of a promotion at the supermarket. Also, the idea of ​​keeping that object that looked broken doesn’t seem so far-fetched anymore; after all, perhaps it has a good use. Yes, our parents were right…

Of course these topics are not a rule. Each family is a pendulum that can swing one way or the other. The important thing is that parents and children find a balance so that everyone starts to live well.

And you, how did you relate to your family? How is your relationship now?

Tell us in the comments.