The line between caring and controlling can be very thin. Because of this, it is possible that certain people have difficulty distinguishing one thing from another. But if your partner’s supposedly caring behavior makes you feel guilty, fearful, or inferior, you should take this as a sign that he’s trying to exercise control in your life.
O awesome.club is always willing to offer support in whatever is needed. Thus, we delved into the subject to the point of identifying classic situations in which one of the partners can cross the line between control and care.
1. Commitments now require sacrifices from only one of the parties
Commitments need a middle ground. You shouldn’t neglect your needs or your feelings just to please the other. A caring partner always manages to find a common language. The controller, on the other hand, tends to give ultimatums without considering how the other feels.
2. The rules established by the couple to make things fair become unfair
Every relationship has rules or standards that must be followed by both parties. However, when one of the people starts to evade what was agreed while continuing to demand obedience to the established from the other, it is because he or she intends to control.
3. You are always “walking on eggshells”
Having a caring partner means that you will feel comfortable talking openly about your needs and feelings. But if you’re afraid to express yourself for fear of an aggressive reaction, rather than an unwelcoming one, your partner certainly has controlling tendencies in the relationship. A controlling partner is always right, and does not usually apologize or take responsibility for their actions.
4. He convinces the other to do something he doesn’t want to do, saying it’s for “his own good”
For example, if your partner tries to get you to eat more vegetables or tries to encourage you to exercise to improve your posture or relieve your back pain, it’s because they care about you and your well-being. But if he tries to get you to eat better or exercise against your will, just to improve your appearance, he is neglecting your needs to satisfy his.
5. The things you are forced to share violate your personal boundaries
Seeing your partner asking you to share certain personal things is absolutely natural. However, if your partner pressures you to open up about matters you prefer to keep to yourself, it’s because he doesn’t care about your feelings, he just wants to know more about your vulnerabilities in order to exercise greater control and, in the future, use your weaknesses against you.
6. He sabotages your educational or career goals by saying he doesn’t want to see you get hurt
When you have high ambitions, whether professional or educational, a caring partner who considers your skills to be insufficient will show you the need to dedicate yourself to bettering yourself and achieving your goals. The controlling partner does not provide the necessary support. We are referring to those who make their partner doubt themselves, saying they are afraid of seeing them disappointed in the event of defeat.
7. He starts to interfere with your relationships with friends and relatives
In order to get control in their hands, people like this try to create a distance between their partner and their respective friends and relatives. Thus, the controller feels less threatened by the idea of being left someday. The caring partner, in turn, tries to protect the loved one against those people who may not be good for him, but this should not involve a total ban on contact.
8. You just feel like you’re being dominated
No relationship should make you feel less important, insecure or unhappy. If your partner is truly caring, your days will be marked by a sense of acceptance, love, and companionship. But if you receive constant ultimatums and threats to end the relationship from your partner as a result of things you have done, know that the relationship has controlling contours.
Have you ever been in a relationship with a controlling person? Could you add other signals to our list? Participate by leaving a comment!
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