8 signs you are in a rebound relationship

Have you ever heard the expression “one nail pulls out another nail”? Someone may come into your life who wants to start a sexual-affective bond very quickly, after recently breaking up with his ex-partner. You get excited, but at the same time you want to be cautious, because what you don’t want is to lead to the dangers of a rebound relationship.

In simple terms, it is ties that someone begins hastily for a single objective: to forget the old love. They do so without adequate mourning for the previous breakup.

Rebound relationships have a risk. AND is falling in love with someone who uses you as an emotional crutch. In these cases, it will be very useful to take into account a series of signs to identify the real affection of the interested party. We give you all the information during reading.

Signs that you are in a rebound relationship

The rebound relationship or “liana” relationship is one that someone begins after having broken up with their previous partner very recently. Everything is effusive, there are large doses of dopamine and endorphins, but sincere affection is not always hidden behind that emotional dynamic. What exists is a way to patch the suffering due to the previous breakup.

There are people looking to replace an ex after a recent breakup. This mechanism is very unfair for those who sincerely fall in love and discover, shortly after, that it is used in order to forget someone else.

Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin highlights in a work that this type of relational dynamics are often explained by an anxious attachment. Being with someone new can help you displace your unaddressed pain or sadness. It is a defense mechanism with which they try to forget or let go of a person who no longer has space in their present.

If you are right now with someone who recently left their ex-partner and you have doubts about whether that bond is authentic or not, below we give you all the clues.

1. He doesn’t know you yet, but you are already the love of his life

No one can deny that there are very solid and happy couples who started their relationship right after one of them left their ex. With this we want to point out that not all rebound relationships are doomed to failure; Sometimes, they can turn out well. The important thing is to read the signs and see how things prosper.

A fundamental characteristic is how quickly the linking process progresses, The following may be included in the alarms:

He asks for exclusivity and that you not be with anyone else. He pressures you to commit to the relationship. That person is very clear that you are his ideal partner. He gets upset if you show doubts or ask to slow down. It is difficult for you to believe in his feelings because he barely knows you. In a rebound relationship they will ask you to start a life together very quickly.

2. You are very focused on your own needs

Research such as that published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reports something interesting. People often enter into rebound relationships to increase their confidence and show that they are desirable.. That is, they seek to prove to themselves that they can quickly find new partners. Thus, what you will be able to perceive in these links is what we are going to detail:

You see very selfish behaviors in that person. Their needs matter more than yours. They are more focused on themselves than on you. What they are most looking for is for you to reinforce their self-esteem and their ego.

3. Lack of emotional and intellectual connection

In a rebound relationship, the physical connection matters more than the emotional one. What does this mean? That he is more interested in sex than in knowing you authentically. They are people who will share time with you, but you will not feel genuine emotional closeness. Next, we explain how this reality manifests itself:

You perceive that the only thing they are looking for is not to be alone. They always take for granted that you are well and happy. They are uncomfortable when you talk to them about your worries. You do not feel an intellectual connection with that person. They are not interested in your past or your feelings. daily experiences. They will also not ask you about your purposes or life goals.

Frontiers in psychology recalls in a publication that emotional accessibility is almost always perceived as more important than sexual accessibility; especially for the female sex. This is, therefore, an indicator that you must take into account.

4. Rebound relationships have their own stages

This relational typology usually goes through, on average, six very specific phases. These stages are the following:

The person who has just broken up with his partner begins to constantly look for other relationships. When he meets you, he goes through a very intense and romantic period. He makes you see that you are the love of his life. After a few months, arguments and disagreements arise. differences. The other person begins to compare you with their ex-partner. From here, two things happen: the relationship breaks down or those differences are faced and relational stability is found.

5. You perceive many contradictions

Few experiences are more painful than perceiving certain contradictions in your sexual partner. They are behaviors in which one thing is said and another is demonstrated.. Likewise, these experiences reinforce a certain feeling of mistrust in you, to the point of not feeling completely secure in that bond. We describe some of those contradictions:

He claims to love you, but he doesn’t care about you. He demands attention, but that person doesn’t care for you. He demands commitment, but they don’t work on it. He insists that you are the love of his life, but he barely knows you. He asks you to go very quickly, but then the emotional connection is slow.

In rebound relationships, what some people seek is to satisfy their needs: reinforce their self-esteem, alleviate the pain of breaking up with their ex-partner and enjoy that effervescent stage of falling in love without greater responsibility.

6. They are just looking to have a good time

An investigation published in Social Sciences found that this phenomenon appears more significantly among men. However, this does not mean that women do not do it. However, What most motivates rebound relationships is to enjoy, to have playful experiences so as not to think about the breakup. suffered. This usually manifests itself in the following ways:

They assume a passive attitude in the face of any challenge that may arise. You always have the feeling that the adult in that relationship is you. They want everything to be easy, that there is no problem in the relationship. If you are having a bad day and you are not available to They will reproach you.

7. Feeling of being used

We know that you already have your own filming in emotional matters. You have your emotional backpack of experiences and, if there is one thing that is clear to you, it is when they use you. And indeed, sometimes, rebound relationships have the main characteristic of feeling like a puppet that someone manipulates at will.

You know this because there is no reciprocity. Also because there is no authentic interest in you. So, That feeling of emotional emptiness and emotional coldness is a clear indication that a bond is not sincere.

8. In that relationship there are three people

Jacques Lacan said that “love is the illusion of making two one.” The phrase is beautiful, but, perhaps, this process cannot be carried out because there is a third figure: the ex-partner.

You do not find your space in that relationship. He usually compares you with that past love in his life. You feel that you are not the most important being for that person. You perceive that there is an unrealized grief and that this conditions him. His friends and family still They keep their previous partner in mind.

What to do if you are in a relationship of this type and you are not happy?

In reality, these emotional ties are like any other relationship. Sometimes you jump in and bet on a person without knowing what may happen. Maybe it turns out well, but suffering is also likely to emerge. The most relevant thing in these situations is that you examine how you feel and make a decision.

Analyze if in that emotional bond you perceive respect, admiration, care, love and understanding. Look inside yourself and ask yourself if that person brings you happiness or doubts.

Know that one nail does not always pull another nail and that no one deserves to be that temporary patch that relieves the pain of a previous breakup. Once you assess all these dimensions, be brave and think about what to do.

A rebound relationship can also work

At this point it is also worth clarifying that, sometimes, this type of experience is successful. Starting a relationship with someone who has just left their partner is not always synonymous with failure. There are mature and responsible people who know how to build an enriching love.

Although it is advisable to grieve after a breakup, it cannot be ignored that fate is playful and can bring you someone special when you least expect it. The important thing is to be sincere and work on that emotional commitment. That’s the key.

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