8 Phrases that can hurt and demotivate the person you live with

If a couple tends to throw problems under the rug, sooner or later bigger problems arise. Often, this cycle can lead to the end of the relationship. As many women don’t always dare to speak their minds, the situation can be misinterpreted and the result is a lot of resentment. In today’s post, we will deal with some phrases that usually hurt men and we will show you how to correctly convey our emotions.

Of course, many relationship problems are unavoidable, but the awesome.club recommends that people always think twice before saying something. That way, the words are well chosen and communication takes place in a much more fluid way.

Another variation on this expression is, “When are you going to mature?”

This phrase sounds very cruel; therefore, it should not be said out loud. However, its meaning is very simple: regardless of the roles that people want to assume today, deep down a woman wants a man to be protective. Instead, women see just the opposite, a person who blames others for their problems, a little boy who only thinks about playing video games instead of working, or a boy who thinks that washing dishes is not a man’s thing.

However, the problem here is not just that man is irresponsible and immature. The point is that the woman herself encourages this behavior (perhaps unconsciously). The eternal Peter Pan will not mature until he is no longer controlled by ‘mom’ Wendy.

Women should learn to expand men’s area of ​​responsibility. Ask them more than once to do the laundry and pick up the kids from school. At the same time, it is always important that thank each other for the help, as it always helps to improve the relationship.

There is the idea that if a person loves another he must also love his family. This, unfortunately, almost never happens. It is often difficult for a mother to ‘let go’ her child, since until then she was the most important woman in his life. At the same time, the bond between mother and child is stronger than we think: up to 63% of mothers carry the DNA of their children in some parts of their brain (the phenomenon is known as ‘microchimerism’).

In all conflicts, mothers usually blame their daughter-in-law or son-in-law.

On the other hand, we have every right to say to the other person, “I love you, but I don’t want to spend the weekend with your family.” But it’s not worth limiting any kind of relationship; the man can go alone or with his children to visit his family.

If family afternoons are sacred to your spouse, then it is important to agree on how often visits will take place. Try to treat your husband’s mother with respect and don’t always be accusing to avoid complicated situations. According to psychologists, men tend to consider their wives the stronger side of the argument, so they almost always side with their mothers.

Psychologist Robert Sternberg, from Tufts University (USA) presented ideal love in the form of a triangle, therefore with three aspects:

Intimacy: includes affection, feelings of friendship and trust. Passion: physical attraction and romantic feelings. Commitment: commitment of both people to the relationship and love story.

As we have noted, physical attraction is important at any stage of the relationship. At the same time, attraction in a long-term relationship is not just important for men, but also for women. In any type of relationship, it is possible for one of the two to become uncomfortable with some physical aspect of the other person.

So if the other person decides to change overnight, mention it carefully and politely. Offer, for example, a wardrobe makeover. And remember to always take care of yourself. After all, we all want to be with someone who cares about themselves and others.

Try to think about whether the other person has always been selfish and whether you just haven’t noticed. Amazingly, there are cases of postpartum depression in men. This affects about 10% of parents.

If the other person always behaves selfishly, explain that you are uncomfortable with the behavior. Do not use generic phrases, give precise examples of when the person behaved like this: didn’t want to know anything about your day, didn’t share food, didn’t help with homework. Don’t blame the other person, try to explain why you are offended. In this way, she tends to understand that this should no longer be done.

However, if the other person is like that, chances are they will never change. Accept it, with its flaws and its qualities, and try to take better care of yourself.

You often feel like mentioning that your friend’s husband earns more, or that he fixes the faucet himself, that he bought a new dress, or that he looks like a model from a magazine.

However, think about how you would react if he compared you to another woman and, instead of saying “But José…”, say exactly what you think and what you would like to change. Suggest that you find a way to increase income together, or explain that it is very important for you to receive gifts, even for no reason at all.

And don’t forget: your husband or wife probably has qualities. What happens is that during your life together you got used to everything good and stopped paying attention. At these times, everything seems to be bothering you. She stops and pays attention to the good things about her husband (or wife) and notices his or her unique qualities.

A mother bear takes care of her cubs until they are two years old. The mothers of orangutans until the age of six or seven. Human mothers are the only ones who can take care of their children until their wedding day, or even after.

Remember that you are not your husband’s mother to be washing his dirty clothes or making his bed. He needs to share housework, taking care of the kids, cooking, etc. Talk to him about responsibilities in a calm tone, and clearly show him what you just won’t put up with.

Some habits can be eliminated simply by default, for example if he loses the key more than once. Keep quiet and don’t show any reaction. Don’t help looking. On the other hand, praise good deeds.

Another important aspect: most of the time men don’t want to irritate us; they just behave a certain way because, for them, it’s the easiest way to do things or an old habit. That is, don’t pressure him, just show him how to behave properly.

Flirting with other people can be a way to spice up our relationship or it can be a pretty good reason for a fight; it all depends on how people behave. If flirting makes a man feel jealous, then start thinking about how you would feel if you were in his situation, and whether it’s worth risking your marriage for that adrenaline rush.

If you talk to other men without showing any signs of flirting and your husband is still suspicious, then it’s time to say, “I love you and I won’t cheat on you.” And talk to him to try to find out why he is so suspicious.

There’s no point in overreacting if he can’t take his eyes off a pretty woman in a nice dress. According to statistics, men spend about a year of their lives just doing this.

If you think you made a mistake in choosing your spouse, we can tell you that you are not the only one: according to statistics, 72% of women at some point think about leaving their husbands, and 57% regret having married. On the other hand, 71% of women are married to the same man their entire lives.

Psychologists recommend dealing with concerns and trying to assess what we feel wrong about the relationship. Possibly, you don’t want to accept some qualities from your man. For example, he may be less active than you, and he may have other interests. But if he doesn’t like going to the theater or concerts, you always have the possibility to go alone or with a friend.

The thought that people are simply incompatible often arises in couples who do nothing to improve their relationship, don’t talk to each other, and aren’t interested in each other’s affairs. Maybe they’re busy with kids and work, but like a car that needs care and fuel, a relationship requires energy to enforce what’s important and also the serenity to accept the loved one’s flaws.

Psychologists recommend that the moment two people start talking, it’s important that they don’t put themselves in a position where they feel the other person owes them something. We often express what we don’t like in a relationship, but we never say what we really want. As a result, the dialogue turns into an alternation of accusations and justifications. Do you agree that the phrase “I would like to spend the weekend with you and the kids at the park” sounds more pleasant than “You spend little time with me and our children”? Express your feelings and desires using the “I” Message. Don’t be afraid to look vulnerablesince then you will be able to find a way to mutual understanding.

What phrases do you think might actually offend the other person in a relationship? Share your opinion on this topic in the comments.