8 Mistakes Even the Most Modern Parents Make When Raising Boys

Society has its own expectations regarding the education of boys and girls. Most of the rules for how children of the opposite sex should behave, spend their free time, and even how they should feel, originated many centuries ago. The point is that in the modern world, some of these traditions should not exist.

For example, some boys are taught to be gentlemen unconditionally, putting their own needs aside, while others are told to always be ready to show their strength, claiming that life is a constant struggle. In the team of awesome.club, we have parents. And they admit that some of the lessons commonly applied to raising boys are very uncomfortable. Moreover, psychologists agree with us. Check out these errors below!

Psychologist Kevin Bennett, professor at the University of Pennsylvania (USA), states that modern man is still not ready to completely get rid of the use of physical force, as this is a natural defense mechanism, which in some situations can serve as the only solution. For example, if a boy treats his classmate aggressively and a fight is about to break out. In Professor Bennett’s opinion, by trying to resolve the conflict with words alone, the boy will appear humiliated; so when this happens it can be important to be able to defend yourself. Therefore, according to him, it may be necessary to teach your child to defend himself with dignity in case of a fight, and not to be afraid of the opponent, making it clear, however, that it is best to avoid violence and never hit first.

The previous point does not mean that the child needs to be taught to resolve any controversial situation through force. However, some parents think differently, encouraging their children to hit anyone who behaves unreasonably.: when they are teased with jokes or when other children take their toys, for example. “Defending” does not mean “attacking without thinking twice”.

Mothers and grandmothers find it cute to say ‘girlfriend’ referring to any girl who gets close to their son or grandson. Of course, they do this without malicious intent. But children may not like this sense of humor, and if this emphasis on communicating with girls becomes constant, the future man may become more suspicious when talking to women, like you can’t make friends or just spend time with them.

This parental behavior is harmful for several reasons:

At first, the boy becomes more shy, as he begins to think that his true emotions must be hidden. Second, he begins to have the wrong view of himself. “If the boys don’t cry but I do, there’s something wrong with me.” Third, when he receives criticism such as: “you behave like a girl”, this boy tends to believe that being a girl is shameful and that the female gender is inferior to the male gender. These days, when the whole world is fighting sexism, these beliefs can hurt your child.

The other extreme is forcing the boy to be a perfect gentleman, putting his own needs, desires and even his sense of justice in the background. It’s hard for a boy to understand why a person of another gender has an advantage over him. Especially if we take into account that, before adolescence, boys and girls tend to have relatively similar physical characteristics.

Of course, older relatives are happy to hug their child or grandchild or receive a kiss. But remember your childhood: few people liked such an expression of love from the elderly. It’s one thing when a child reaches out for a hug. It’s another thing to force her to do this, claiming that otherwise she will make her grandparents extremely sad. Who would want to spoil their beloved grandparents’ mood?

But antipathy towards elders is not the only possible consequence of this situation. According to psychologists, this behavior of the older generation can lead to a child not knowing how to define his personal space, which can lead to problems in the future.

The purpose of the walks is to let the child expend energy, move, satisfy their curiosity and breathe fresh air. And many times, that involves getting dirty. Therefore, think first of your child, of his joy and development, and then of what other people will say.🇧🇷 It is better to wear simple clothes that can, if necessary, be discarded and let the boy have fun in the sand, catching bugs, kicking the ball and falling on the grass than to dress him like a little executive and deprive him of all the fun. As a famous advertisement for washing powder says, “getting dirty is good”.

Many times, those who are concerned about the mental health of boys recommend that their mothers start to stop breastfeeding them as soon as they can walk. final, from that moment on, they begin to understand things and, if you continue to breastfeed them, they can become men obsessed with the female body.

The truth is that there is no scientific evidence for this theory. But there are many studies confirming that breastfeeding is extremely beneficial for babies, and there’s nothing shameful about extending it even after the child turns 2—it doesn’t matter whether it’s a girl or a boy.

What myths about parenting do you hear most often? Which parenting methods would you avoid raising your own children?