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8 Advice for couples who spend a lot of time together

Some aspects of life can seem great during one phase and terrible at another. For example, sometimes our greatest desire is to work at home to spend more time with our partner, but after a few months at home this desire can change and open up space for fights and disagreements. Routine, lack of personal space, little time dedicated to friends and ourselves are some of the things that can happen when we spend too much time with just one person.

We, from awesome.clubwe know that many couples go through situations like these, that’s why we’ve prepared a series of tips to help give the relationship a different air, especially so that the two people can better enjoy the time they spend together.

1. Do not neglect the relationship with friends and family

When a relationship is good, being next to the loved one is always very comfortable. However, this can lead to other relationships being neglected, a dynamic that can cause “codependence”, that is, when the couple isolates themselves from any other possibility of social life, whether with co-workers, friends or even with others. other family members. People with a tendency to “codependency” are often afraid of loneliness, feel anxiety, have obsessive thoughts and fear of the end of the relationship.

So that all this does not reach more worrying levels, such as when a person abandons personal dreams, it is important to understand the dynamics of the relationship and not forget that the relationship we establish with other people is also an important part of our lives.

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2. Rather than guessing, it’s better to ask

It’s natural to reflect on the things that could make the other person a little happier, but we can often have a mistaken view of what the other really wants or needs. However, misunderstandings can be avoided in a very simple way: by asking.

Questions like “What do you need?”, “What annoys you about me?”, “How can I make you happier?” they can open constructive dialogues and avoid further problems and unnecessary discussions in the future.

3. Realizing boredom and its reasons

The feeling of boredom can manifest itself in many ways; moreover, it can be subtle or it can show up in clearer ways, with signs of irritation and even as a decrease in desire. If this starts to happen, a good exercise is to ask yourself what is going on and what might be the internal reasons that lead us to feel these things.

Check out some solutions to these problems:

4. Finding a good balance between alone time and couple time

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean always doing everything together. Sometimes we want to do something alone, and that doesn’t mean less love, it just means that the person likes to do some things without anyone else’s company. That’s why it’s important to talk about the things we prefer to do together and the things we don’t.

Some everyday household tasks such as folding clothes, cleaning the house and taking the dog for a walk can also be performed without the company of the other. Finding a good balance between the time we spend alone and the time together also makes room for nostalgia and the beauty of reunion.

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5. Cultivate a good mood

Good humor is not only important for the relationship we establish with our friends, it must be a priority when dealing with a partner. This can be done through games, walks, recreational activities, etc. Jokes are also welcome in everyday life. All this breaks with the routine and makes the environment much more lively and positive.

6. If necessary, consider individual or couples therapy

Therapy doesn’t need to be the last option when resolving any issues. In a way, everyone can find new paths with the help of an impartial observer. The feeling of sadness and irritation when dealing with day-to-day challenges may just be the starting point for thinking about therapy. A therapist can provide emotional support and some tools to improve your mental health and communication with the other person.

7. Invest in “self-differentiation”

“Self-differentiation” may seem complex, but it just means “giving meaning to one’s own life independently of the other”. People who manage to be themselves while in a relationship enjoy both the experiences together and the experiences alone, without feeling that they are “escaping” from any obligation.

Investing time in individual passions makes both the moments together and the moments alone better enjoyed. Having independent experiences improves the relationship and gives people more fulfillment.

8. Focus on the positive things in each other

It’s natural for one person to think all the time about the things that the other doesn’t do correctly, and sometimes it’s hard to stop thinking about all that. However, it is often a matter of perspective and getting stuck in negative thoughts. To try to change this way of looking at things, you can try the following.

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Changing body language, as it relates to insecurity. Talking about the emotions that bother you. Instead of seeing things as problems, think of them as challenges. Etc. Refresh your mind with a walk and get out of the grind. List the things that make life worthwhile.

What do you think is the best way to divide your time between family, friends and your partner? And what things do you love to do alone or as a couple?

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