7 Tips to talk better with your child

Few children are “programmed” to immediately comply with what their parents ask, just as they are often unwilling to listen to everything that elderly relatives try to convey to them. The point is that children’s attention works differently than adults. Because of this, it is sometimes difficult to get your child to focus on his words. However, there are several proven methods that can make this task easier.

O awesome.club gathered for you some advice from psychologists that can help make a child listen and react to what you said.

For each person, his name is like a unique key that activates his attention. Therefore, before asking your child for something, refer to him by his name and make sure that he left his affairs to pay attention to you.

Children love someone who is able to make them laugh. Therefore, so that your request is less instructive and does not provoke the unconscious rejection of the little one, try to speak with an accent, with another voice, joke or approach with caution and provoke a little fright🇧🇷

Of course, you shouldn’t abuse this trick, as you should come across as a parent and not a “clown” that no one will take seriously.

According to psychologists, it is not necessary to repeat a request several times in order to force a child to do something for his own good. If a warning doesn’t work, from that moment on, it’s her responsibility to comply or not.

Naturally, this advice is relevant so that the child himself can feel the consequences of his disobedience, within normal parameters, whose actions do not expose him to dangers that he often does not understand. However, if the child’s intractability leads to the fact that you will be forced to do everything yourself, it is better not to use this method.

According to experts, the child understands the request much faster if it’s clear what she needs to do🇧🇷 After all, if you tell her that must not do something, this requires no action at all, which means she may not pay attention to your words.

Therefore, instead of an abstract order followed by a “no”such as “do not drop”, “do not soil” or “do not break”, make a request that involves an actionsuch as: “hold on tighter”, “tie your shoelaces so you don’t fall”, or “play with the ball away from the window”.

Parents communicate with the child from the position of an older person, and sometimes they overemphasize that they are more experienced and smarter than the young interlocutor. Therefore, they can often use false data with the intention that the child does not do certain things. However, it’s only a matter of time before she discovers the truth.

For example, if you tell your child that if he behaves well, Santa Claus will bring him a present, this will only work until the child discovers that he does not exist. That is, your credibility in the eyes of your child may also remain only until that moment. Therefore, think about whether it is worth losing it to the child for a temporary solution to a problem.

Allowing a child to do whatever he wants, completely excluding the word “no” from the vocabulary, is illogical and even dangerous. However, according to many parents, any of their prohibitions becomes more important and is taken more seriously if a certain amount of “no” that is said to the little ones is not exceeded.

For example, it is recommended to apply the ratio of 5 “yes” to 1 “no”. To do this, it’s worth evaluating your children’s requests, not from the perspective of “this you can do and this is not allowed”, but rather from the perspective of “what can I allow so that this does not harm anyone? ”. For example:

“Yes, it’s hot, you can play with water and earth”. (Fortunately, washing machines have already been invented). “Yes, you can draw with markers”. (On a surface where it won’t need or won’t be difficult to clean.) “Yes, you can take such an insect home.” (Just make sure it’s in a tightly closed container where it can’t escape to roam around the house.) “Yes, you can take a million nearly identical photos with my cell phone camera.” (If you want, leave some and the others will be erasable in a few minutes). “Yes, you can take the stuffed animal to take a shower with you” (Afterwards, just put it to dry in the machine or in the sun). 🇧🇷Noyou cannot take something from the store without paying, because it is against the law and creates problems not only for you, but also for the seller”.

Do parents enjoy all this variety of domestic problems and the many responsibilities that fall on their shoulders? We are not robots and often enjoy certain tasks as little as children do. So why not admit it to them🇧🇷

Don’t try to show the child that you are better because you don’t like it, but do it differently from her, who complains. The best way to talk and make your child understand is to explain why you decided to do a certain task and how important it is.

And don’t forget that the child is purely and simply the mirror of the parents. Therefore, it will not be possible to cultivate respect for the opinions of others and the ability to listen in her if you yourself do not have these qualities.

So remember to take the time to listen and pay attention to their naive stories, praise their small but significant accomplishments, pay attention to their takedowns, and engage in dialogue whenever possible. Therefore, the child will respond in kind.

And you, what do you think? What other advice can you give parents trying to find a common language with their children? Tell us about your experiences in the comments.