7 tips to leave a mark on others

Suzanne Simard, a researcher at the University of British Columbia, tells us that the trees in a forest are connected just like the neurons in our brain and messages and information are sent.

Before dying, the oldest pass their energy and legacy to the youngest so that they can take advantage of it. Knowing this, one cannot avoid the question:

What will my legacy be? What do I want to do with the time I have left?

waves that expand

in appearance, every time a person dies it disappears with them a whole library of wisdom and unique experiences.

However, professor of psychiatry Irvin Yalom talks about the propagation by concentric waves or concentric circles of influence that we all createalthough we are not always aware of it, and that can leave a mark on others for years.

“The effect we have on others is transmitted, in turn, to others, in the same way that the concentric circles produced by throwing a stone into a pond continue to expand, even when they are no longer visible to us. The The concept of concentric waves refers to leaving something from one’s own life experience, some gesture, some good advice, some guidance, some advice to others, knowing it or not”, writes Yalom in look at the sun (Bookett, 2009).

To leave our mark, perhaps our presence is enough, simply by existing. Others often remember about us what we have thought less important, like the child who keeps in memory what his parents did not see for themselves.

However, certain attitudes help us more than others to express ourselves and expand our creativity. Sometimes, out of fear or inhibition, we limit ourselves, adapting to what is expected of us. This prevents us from developing the strength that makes us unique beings and giving others the treasure or gift that only we possess.

So will your footprints

1. Don’t worry about what they think of you

It is difficult to survive without ever taking into account the opinion of those around us, but always being aware of their approval and acceptance, as well as a burden, blocks the freedom to be.

We become slaves to the image we want to give. We are letting the others put the value on us. Loving yourself does not need justification.

It is convenient to learn to validate our internal sensations and act more from the inside out that from the outside in.

There is a rule that does not usually fail: when a person respects the outside a lot, they often stop respecting themselves; and vice versa, when a person respects himself a lot, he tends to despise the outside.

What group are you in?

Finding a balance can take a lifetime.. Virgina Woolf, Dalí or Picasso were people who always did what they wanted without thinking about conventions or whether they were good or bad… And they left us a great legacy that we still admire and serves as a reference for many.

2. Face the fear of the unknown

It is the best way to learn something new. And, if we take something with us in this life, it is experiences. Australian nurse Bronnie Ware says that before dying, many people regret not having risked more during their lives to fulfill their dreams.

Maybe it’s just about playing more and not abandoning that capacity that we all have to experience the new and to learn enjoying, without so much control, allowing us to open ourselves to the imagination. Recover the soul while we do and create, parking the inertia and automatisms.

3. Have the courage to be consistent

To be coherent with our essence as well it is often necessary to be brave, which is also our responsibility as human beings. It helps to ask yourself, “If my son found himself in this same situation, what would I want him to do: settle or take a risk?”

Perhaps, if we dare, we will pave the way for him too when he finds himself in a similar dilemma. No need to avoid confrontationseven if we have to pay a price for it. It is in the discussion where we usually take off our masks and show ourselves.

The disguises have been left out, which can be very uncomfortable, it is true, but it can become the way to face the truth and start having more authentic relationships that are really worthwhile.

For this, it will be necessary cope with “good” guilt which implies accepting to pay the price of an action and deeply accepting oneself in all its facets.

4. Transcend perfectionism

It can be an obstacle because the fear of failure that comes with perfectionism it can lead us to immobility. It is as dangerous as comfort or pessimism. Because innovating does not always mean doing everything right from the start.

5. Open your life to utopia and madness

Ask yourself from time to time: if I were crazy, what would I do? Probably in this answer you will find many of the desires and dreams that you do not even dare to name out of fear.

In Gestalt training there is an exercise called the “mad therapist”. It consists of connecting exclusively with your interior and doing or saying to the patient the first thing that comes to mind. True miracles happened. I already said it in his book Guillermo Borja Madness cures it (The Key, 2004).

6. Connect with your being, beyond the ego

According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, we all have a nucleus that drives us to fulfill ourselves as unique beings and who always struggles to express himself.

Not doing so harms health, because, according to him, the disease “comes from the denial of human potential. The good life is the pursuit of that potential and lead daily the life that it animates. This approach concerns the highest possibilities of human beings.”

What it means to go beyond what we think we are –and the definitions that limit us–, to give ourselves the opportunity to become what we are not yet. When we transcend ourselves, we open ourselves to new possibilities by overcoming beliefs and fears.

7. Allow yourself to flow with time.

The most we express our uniqueness is when the task at hand absorbs us completely, making us lose track of time and ourselves. It requires all our involvement and the pleasure of exercising it is maximum.

The guitarist explained it very well. paco de lucia in La Vanguardia talking about his struggle to find the best expression of his art: “While I play, I’m looking for that balance in which everything flows”. And when you get it: “Frock coats! All fear, all insecurity, all fighting disappears.” what

How does this make you feel in your life?