7 movies that show the B side of motherhood

In the ideal world, motherhood is only a source of positive emotions. The desire to mother is firm and undoubted. Pregnancy and childbirth are experiences filled with harmony. Patience, equanimous. The upbringing, pristine. Mood, stable. Love, unquestionable.

In the real world, things get complicated.. Saying that everything is rosy loses meaning when we assume that mothering has its beautiful light, but also its deep dark places populated by shadows of helplessness, frustration, fear, doubts and even pain.

So, what differences are there between real motherhood and motherhood shot by film cameras? So, are mothers always impeccable at the time of giving birth? Is breastfeeding always a warm and unobstructed encounter? Is the news of pregnancy always experienced with deep joy? Is the mother-child bond stable? Anyone who has lived the experience of motherhood knows that the answers are complex..

Real motherhood in the cinema

Let’s be honest: Motherhood has many faces, it can be beautiful and fun, but also deeply painful. It can be as pretty as a rainbow after a summer storm, but it can also be very unpleasant. The baby’s smile gives us joy, but its crying keeps us awake and, in general, its company consumes a good dose of energy.

Often, the story told on the big screen is biased. However, this is not always the case, and here is a good sample of films that have decided to tell motherhood from a more realistic perspective.

1. Rome

The best foreign film of 2019 (according to the Golden Globe Awards), directed by Alfonso Cuarón, tells the story of a wealthy family in Mexico in the 1970s.

Cleo is the housekeeper and caretaker of the children of the home, whom she loves and by whom she is loved. We could say that she plays an essential role in raising the four little ones, since she is in charge of feeding them, taking them to school, putting them to bed and waking them up, while the biological mother is immersed in a marriage as tense as she is absent. . The protagonist must face her own motherhood and is invaded by insecurity, rejection, guilt and fear.

2. Bad mothers

bad mothers (2016) poses and analyzes how a mother is required to keep everything under control and systematically put the needs of her children behind her own. It is a film to laugh at and reflect on the unrealistic pressures and demands that society places on mothers.

Mila Kunis plays Amy, a woman and mother who takes care of everyone except herself. She could be considered a prodigious juggler, considering that her life is intertwined with endless tasks and responsibilities that she must fulfill perfectly, and with pointed heels.

3. We need to talk about Kevin

It is a deeply raw and uncomfortable psychological drama, starring Tilda Swinton and Ezra Miller. Motherhood here has a problematic and painful essence that crosses the limits of what is healthy.

We need to talk about Kevin (2011) is the adaptation of the novel of the same name by Lionel Shriver that addresses the dysfunctional bond between a mother who does not love her son, and a son who appears to have developed a manipulative and sociopathic personality. since childhood, perhaps feeling that absence of attachment.

Kevin commits atrocities that seem destined to transform his mother’s life into a living hell.

4.Juno

The plot revolves around Juno, a young teenager who becomes pregnant after having sexual relations with a friend. He faces decisions that exceed his level of maturity due to his young age, having to evaluate difficult alternatives, such as making a interruption voluntary pregnancy or giving the baby up for adoption.

This 2007 film directed by Jason Reitman, addresses controversial issues such as the desire to mother, not to mother, the supposed maternal instinct and freedom of choice. Without a doubt, this is one of the first films that put on the table a reality that was hidden for a long time.

5. The dark daughter

The dark daughter (2022) proposes demystify the romanticization of motherhood and reveal cruder stories, but no less probable or impossible for that reason.

Leda (Olivia Coleman) is a 48-year-old woman who travels alone, although memories of the past torment her and intensify when she establishes a bond with a young mother, with whom she shares a spa on a paradisiacal beach. In the protagonist guilt reigns for not having played the role of mother as society expects: affectionate, unconditional and willing to give everything.

6. Lady Bird

This film written and directed by Greta Gerwig expresses itself with total honesty when recounting the bond between a teenager in the middle of the transition to adulthood and her mother, revealing how complex it can be to have a child who goes through this stage.

The protagonist is forging and affirming her identity, which seems to go against the grain considering her mother’s beliefs and lifestyle. He really wants and needs to differentiate himself from her, while staying close to her.

7. Leonera

It is an Argentine production co-written and directed by Pablo Trapero and starring Martina Gusmán that addresses motherhood in prison.

This film, full of violence, helplessness and anguish, narrates the life of Julia, a woman who discovers that she is pregnant during the medical check-up that is carried out just before entering prison. Her baby is born to her and lives the first years of her life in prison.

On the other hand, conflicts begin to arise in the protagonist’s relationship with her mother, since the two do not agree on what is best for the little girl.

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