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7 lessons to know how to love

The lessons to know how to love have to do with some guidelines that make our expectations more realistic and our actions more committed. Loving is a true art and all art requires time and work.

Knowing how to love is a true art that requires work on oneself, experience and good will. Because, sometimes, even if there is love, its quality is not always the same. There are loves of loves. Some manage to transform our lives positively and forever. Others are a torment, temporary or lasting. Some others remain only out of habit and basically neither take away nor add to our lives.

One Love evolved and mature is healthy, in the broad sense of the word. It significantly enriches the lives of those involved and contributes to the development and expansion of each of them.

There is only one remedy for love: love more”.

-Henry D. Thoreau-

Knowing how to love involves recognizing the limits of a relationship and have reached a certain level of individual balance. Also learn to give up impossible desires and romantic fantasies.

Below we will delve into seven keys that must be taken into account to know love. Let’s dig deeper.

1. The same experience, different perspectives

The first of the lessons to know how to love is to understand that each person is a unique universe. In love, especially as a couple, sometimes there is an excessive desire to build an extremely strong mutual identification.

However, even if two people share the same experience, each of them sees and assimilates it differently. This diversity makes it visible that the two are not as if they were one, but rather continue to be individuals. separated. This is not bad, but positive and normal.

2. People change, one of the lessons to know how to love

People have a basic personality structure, which usually remains in essence, from childhood to old age. Despite this, also We are beings that constantly change. Time, experiences, learning, etc. change us.

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Knowing how to love is understanding this; that is to say, accept that several of you are going to have to relearn to love the same person. The father does it with the son who was previously a child and then a teenager. In couples, the idealized being becomes a real person and it is necessary to fall in love again. That’s how it works.

3. Taking care of yourself is a way of thinking about others

The first love that must be strengthened is the one that one owes to oneself. To know how to love others, it is first necessary that we be in relative peace and balance with ourselves. May we be aware of who we are, what we want and what we deserve.

Everything we do for ourselves we are also doing for others. If we are at peace, we can give peace. If we feel good about who we are, we can more easily accept others. If we take care of ourselves, we take care of our ties with others.

4. Protect privacy

Currently, there is a collective desire for exposure. Many people want to show their personal lives to a large public and feel that it is valid to do so.. There is also too much rush, especially in relationships, to become intimate with each other.

Those very private or vulnerable aspects of our lives should be protected a little more. Knowing how to love is also having a little patience. Give time for the ties to strengthen and the field of intimacy expands.

5. Everyone has their own battles

They say that each person “carries his or her own cross.” Although it may be a bit dramatic to look at, the truth is that it is essentially true. We never fully understand the struggles that a person endures daily.

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What we can do is take this into account to understand that everyone has their own difficulties and that this generates tensions and conflicts. It is not necessary for the other person to be explaining his discomforts and emptiness to us to understand him, when he is not as pleasant as he could be.

6. There is no total equality in relationships

Human relationships are not commercial contracts that imply total fairness in any circumstance. Quite the opposite. The predominant note is asymmetry, inequality. Total correspondence is never achieved.

There are times when one gives more than the other and then the opposite happens. Therefore, we cannot keep an accounting and demand that they correspond to us in the same proportion, when we give something. Knowing how to love is to give your best and accept what the other can and wants to give us..

7. It is necessary to learn to say goodbye

Every love relationship ends at some point. The presence of other people in our lives is always transitory.. Sooner or later, and for various reasons, there will be a time when we no longer have your company.

Hence it is important to learn to say goodbye to what you love. The pain that this implies is not resolved by avoiding bonds of love, nor by trying to perpetuate them beyond reason. Losing those we love is a reality from which no one escapes and it is important to learn to accept.

These lessons to know how to love are guidelines that are not fully realized. They should be taken as guidelines or guidelines and not as norms.. It is enough to try to follow them, even if we do not succeed one hundred percent. Loving is also that: working to be better and make those around us better.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Fromm, E., & Rosenblatt, N. (2000). The art of Loving. São Paulo^ eSP SP: Martins Fontes.

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