7 guidelines to deal with unwanted loneliness

Loneliness, as such, is neither good nor bad. It depends on how each person lives it and accepts it. And we are all and sometimes we want to be alone. We need it and it is good for us. However, there are times when this loneliness implies sadness and/or abandonment. Being alone for a long time can cause serious problems, since we are above all social beings.

Therefore, It is necessary to know how to face loneliness, manage it or accept it. In this article we will give you seven guidelines to face it in an intelligent way, in a way that adds to our personal growth.

Destructive loneliness

There are several forms of “negative” loneliness. A person can be withdrawn, but not mistreat their social relationships. Another type of negative loneliness occurs when someone feels helpless, alone, without company and with little prospect of the situation changing. That is to say, loneliness is felt like a sentence: an unchosen situation, a kind of clearly unjust punishment.

It can be difficult to change family or group situations, whether you are single, married or widowed. That feeling of loneliness when you have not been chosen is one of the most negative experiences for our personal, emotional and health development, both mental and physical.

The concept of loneliness is different from that of isolation. Much more different is the concept of dependency. We could say that they are three different faces of loneliness, with their pros and cons.

What are the common forms of loneliness?

There is loneliness understood as a distance from the hubbub, the crowds, the noise.… We need it to be able to “feed ourselves”, to pray, write or concentrate. This loneliness turns the road that connects with our interior into a multi-lane highway.

This solitude is necessary in our life and cannot harm us. If we are intelligent in its management, it can bring us great benefits. However, many times loneliness is not chosen, but imposed. In cases of imposed loneliness we perceive loneliness with such intensity that we can be surrounded by people and feel alone at the same time. So many people around us and how little sense of company!

The tragic psychological loneliness

Psychological loneliness is perhaps the most terrible of loneliness. It can cause us to develop a true pathology, inducing suicide in the most extreme cases. On the other hand, loneliness can come from the feeling of not maintaining deep relationships, such as the absence of a true friendship or family members we trust. Our personality configuration can predispose it. There are studies that reveal that around forty years of age it increases strongly, culminating in retirement and the emancipation of children.

When children become emancipated, the so-called “empty nest syndrome” can occur.. Then you have to act and face loneliness in the best way possible. Something needs to be done if in our work, in our family or in our usual social group we feel alone and that feeling seems to drown us little by little.

The loss of autonomy and the difficulty of getting around favors another type of loneliness. This can enrich us as long as we know how to fit it, accept it and occupy it.

7 guidelines to deal with loneliness

We can do several things to control and cope with negative loneliness. It’s not about not being alone, but about not feeling alone. Among them are the following:

Organize yourself in a different way

It is a good idea to organize your life based on your current state. (single, widowed, retired, without children, etc.). Do not organize yourself based on the stressful routine you have had as a housewife or as a company worker. It is time to incorporate into our agenda activities that allow us to exchange interests with other people.

Set schedules

Try to keep a schedule for going to bed and getting up. Try not to fall into anarchy, this will give you a great feeling of security. On days when you don’t have to get up early, don’t stay in bed. Not adjusting your body to a schedule will increase the feeling of melancholy.

Always eat at the same time

If possible, always eat at the same time. Dinner every night, even if it’s lighter. Don’t fall into the trap of eating only when you are hungry and without control. You will notice it in your physical health and mood. Clutter creates more disorder and in turn anxiety.

Try to set the pace yourself and not your mood

Don’t get carried away by the impulse of the bad moment you are experiencing. “I get bored, I don’t feel like washing myself, changing, dressing… I lie on the couch all day waiting for a call or a visit that never comes.” Look at the schedule and do what you had planned for that day!

Do rewarding activities

Do you have a garden? Go to her. If you have a garden, take care of it, there is always something to do in a garden. If not, arrange the plants on the balcony. You can also tidy the house, arrange papers, wash the dishes… Doing something that distracts you and keeps you active is good and healthy.

You should not “kill time”

We have to find something to occupy and fill our time. But something that is meaningful to us, that makes us enjoy and also grow. Don’t complain that you don’t have much money. The rich have not solved leisure, they get bored anyway. It’s about looking for something that attracts you and “hooks” you.

Change your pace of life, “shift into another gear”

Monotony is broken by changes. Modify your habits, add a little risk to your life, think that you don’t need anyone to go to the movies, to go out to dinner one day or to travel.

The relationship we maintain with loneliness, isolation and dependency is in our hands. Living alone does not mean being alone or being a loner. What matters is accepting the personal situation we are going through and fighting to compensate for it with friends, family, children, groups. If you are going through a situation of this type… I hope these guidelines can help you, even if only minimally!

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