7 Facts that lead us to insist on bad relationships

Most of us know someone who constantly starts relationships that aren’t quite right. Such people seem to stumble over the same stones over and over again. And every time that happens, it’s accompanied by their complaints about the fact that these people can’t find an “ideal” someone for life.

In this post, the incredible.club sought to find out why some people tend to make the same mistakes over and over when choosing their partner and how it is possible to stop this saga of failed romances.

Fear of loneliness ends up pushing people into the arms of a new relationship when they don’t even understand their own feelings. For the same reason, many find themselves immersed in stable but unhappy marriages.

Why does a person feel incomplete without their half of the orange? Relationship psychologist Margaret Paul estimates that this comes from a habit of shifting responsibility for our physical and emotional well-being to our peers. If you feel bored, but you can’t solve it on your own and you expect to be taken to the cinema, this is your case.

What to do to turn the game around? To accept yourself as a whole person, it pays to take sole responsibility for your own life. Consciously make decisions more often and accept the stages of your life, even those that you think are the most lonely.

Sometimes people stay in inappropriate relationships because they have low self-esteem. It’s easy for a person to get caught up in their own shortcomings and enter a depressive phase. A study for the journal Glamdirected by Ohio State University (USA) professor Jesse Fox revealed that 54% of women are totally dissatisfied with their bodies and 80% do not like their reflection in the mirror.

What to do to turn the game around? Try to find positive traits in yourself and experiment with finding vocations and hobbies. If you don’t have a hobby, find one. It could be dancing, walking, reading, cooking, music, cycling… the list goes on and on. This will help you better deal with your own emotions.

It is possible that our families describe what our partners should be like, even if subtly: marrying a doctor or actor, marrying a great businesswoman or judge… Not to mention the possible comments about appearance. There are so many stories as well as people in the world that we could write endless posts about it. But the fact is that almost all sons and daughters want to please their parents and society in general. These are subtle charges that we don’t even realize exist. But in doing so, we run the risk of growing up without our own opinion, having repressed yearnings and falling into traps in relationships.

What to do to turn the game around? Remember what requirements you set when thinking about a potential match. Also, question whether these are your own requirements or just your family’s expectations.

Many people fall into this trap. Fairy tales and romantic comedies teach us that good will win and that your partner will change for love. But the fact is that few people were able to change their partners. Psychologists continue to assert that the hope of change, sooner or later, loses its strength.

What to do to turn the game around? It’s better to stop wasting energy trying to change the other. If you don’t like people trying to change you, don’t try to change your partner. That simple.

Drawing up lists based on the number of weak or strong points is usually a somewhat immature idea. Imagine that you are choosing an outfit for an important occasion and you write down the pros and cons. The clothes are comfortable, the fabric is soft, it fits well, but there is a big fat stain on the chest. Seen that way, there are more advantages than disadvantages, but would you use it? The same goes for people. We can mistakenly say that your love has all the necessary advantages and everything else doesn’t matter, but even a small pebble inside your boot, over time, can cause terrible pain.

What to do to turn the game around? Try to assess the person as a whole. Are the weaknesses even insignificant?

Psychology is increasingly considering the concept of “chaos addiction” (chaos addiction🇧🇷 Those prone to this state are looking for strong emotions and vivid impressions in order to increase their adrenaline level and experience a kind of pleasure from it. And negative emotions are more easily obtained, so the “addicted” to this type of emotion intentionally provokes arguments or seeks a love that guarantees the impulse emotionally.

What to do to turn the game around? Try to understand if you are looking for an emotional stir. Getting a dose of adrenaline is possible in many ways, not just through slaps and kisses. Extreme sports, thrilling movies and books can help you fill that need for adventure. It will be better than risking a failed and stressful relationship.

At the beginning of a relationship, passion is usually intoxicating and soon we are ready to swear eternal love to the chosen one. But after a while, the relationship becomes more difficult and doubts appear about whether or not the choice was the best.

In 2014, the American writer Mark Manson, who studies relationships, published the article “Only with love is not enough” (Love is enough), in which he assures that passion does not always mean compatibility. The pure and beautiful feeling that is often shown in books and songs does not always guarantee a peaceful coexistence.

What to do to turn the game around? The madness of passion is beautiful. But in the long run, you need to know if you have common goals and interests. This is often what ends up defining lasting relationships.

Let’s face it… All these traps, at some point, have haunted us. The fact is that we must always understand that we all have flaws and qualities, making mistakes and successes, and it is natural that we do not realize when we are making mistakes.

Have you ever fallen into one of these love traps? Share with us in the comments!