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6 Inconvenient Questions Polite People Don’t Usually Ask

The ability to carry on a polite conversation is a useful skill not just for the workplace, but for life in general. It happens that even the most educated people, often without bad intentions, ask questions that make their interlocutors uncomfortable, who feel like ending the conversation. And it’s not always easy to find out exactly what the source of the problem is.

O incredible.club analyzed the most common questions asked in conversations and selected the ones you should avoid in order to learn how to make good contacts and ingratiate yourself with other people.

1. Is she your mother?

You have no way of knowing how closely related the people you are talking to are, so it’s best not to guess or list possible options. Most likely, your interlocutor does not like questions like:

Is it your mother/brother/son?
Are you relatives🇧🇷

There’s always the risk of thinking someone’s older sister is their mother, or treating two people who don’t even get along like relatives. This can be seen as an insult. It’s much easier and more appropriate to conclude who’s who by letting the conversation flow and observing other people’s behavior.

2. How long have you been together?

People tend to like to talk about romantic relationships. Both their own and those of others. But if your interlocutor doesn’t want to bring up the subject, avoid asking if that couple has been together for a long time or if they are already married.

The people you talk to might just be friends who decided to hang out together. And the question about marriage can cause discomfort when the two people involved do not agree on the subject.

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3. When are you going to have kids?

What other questions about children should be avoided?

Do you have kids? Is pregnant? Did you want to have a boy or a girl?

You can be sure that the mother of many children has already been bothered by hearing the question “are they all yours?” Questions of this type may not sit well with those who chose not to have children and sadden those who cannot become fathers or mothers, despite the desire for this to happen. The question about pregnancy may seem like a joke and a hint of being overweight.

If your interlocutor arrived at the place with children, it is better to ask about their hobbies, for example. If the person arrives without children, prefer to bet on a more neutral subject for the first conversation.

4. Is it forever?

Obviously, it is unlikely that anyone will talk about failures or obvious signs of health problems. However, people often ask questions about features of appearance:

Did not hurt? Is it true? Where did you…?

Few people are interested in talking to strangers about their tattoos, piercings or dreadlocks. In addition, you should avoid touching people’s accessories, as this violates personal boundaries.

It is also not polite to ask about cosmetic procedures. Even if you are sure that your interlocutor uses artificial tanning, do not ask for the number of the beauty clinic. Maybe the person thinks that the result they are showing seems natural, so your question could end up destroying other people’s self-esteem.

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5. Why do you need it?

Hobbies are great topics for conversation. Through them, even complete strangers can end up becoming best friends. However, still, there are questions that may annoy your interlocutor. “What do you need 5 dogs for?” or “Why did you choose such an expensive hobby?” or “don’t you feel sorry for the fish when you go fishing?” not the most pleasant questions. The person may think that you consider that hobby a tremendous amount of nonsense.

6. How much did it cost?

Few people ask the other how much he earns. However, many try to investigate how much professionals in the same area of ​​expertise as their interlocutors earn on average.

But no one wants to admit that they earn little, despite liking the service. Or that you don’t even like that activity, but you couldn’t find something better. In any case, the money question is too personal and should be avoided.

Shopping can also become a bothersome affair. Maybe you think about asking the price of something because you have a friend who bought the same product, awakening the desire to compare prices. However, your interlocutor may think that you want to assess his or her financial strength based on the purchases he or she can make.

How to answer uncomfortable questions?

What to do when faced with inappropriate questions? The actions below are indicated:

Change the subject Reply briefly Refuse to reply

Most of the time, just ignoring the question is enough for the interlocutor to understand that you were annoyed. Changing the subject or answering without going on at length are also suitable signs that you don’t like the question.

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If your interlocutor insists, you can simply be sincere and say: “I don’t want to talk about it, let’s change the subject”. This is much better than getting irritated, nervous, or continuing to develop a subject you don’t like.

Questions are essential in a conversation. Learning to formulate them correctly is essential to be seen as someone pleasant and a good talker. Have you ever found yourself in an awkward situation caused by inappropriate questions?

Exclusive illustrator Alena Tsarkova for Incrível.club

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