6 differences between jealousy and envy

Jealousy and envy… Who has not experienced these emotions at some point? They seem similar concepts and are often used as synonyms. But do we really know what the differences are between jealousy and envy? Why aren’t they the same?

As we will see, The situations that trigger jealousy and envy are usually diverse.as are other of its causes, its consequences on an emotional level, its characteristics… Through this article you will be able to better understand these concepts and understand why they are, in reality, different emotions.

Jealousy and envy: what is each concept?

To know the differences between jealousy and envy we must, first, understand what each concept means. According to the RAE (Royal Spanish Academy), Jealousy is the ‘suspicion, concern and fear that the loved one has changed or is changing his affection., putting it in another’. Here we already see how they relate the concept to loving relationships (feeling jealous of someone), and not so much with things (feeling jealous of some object). Although, logically, we can feel jealous when someone has “X” something that we do not have.

In the case of envy, it has different meanings in the RAE: “sadness or regret of another’s good” and “emulation, desire for something that one does not possess.” As we see, jealousy and envy are very similar concepts. However, they are not exactly the same: therefore, we are going to know their most notable differences.

Differences between jealousy and envy

Now, let’s know 6 of the differences between jealousy and envy. These are the most notable, although there may be more. To better understand these concepts, we will refer to some illustrative examples.

Focus on emotion

The object to which the emotion in jealousy and envy is directed is one of their first differences. Thus, while In jealousy, what usually generates it is a situation that provokes suspicion or fear of losing what is loved (generally a person), in envy the discomfort is generated by the person who generates this feeling, or by the “thing” that they have and we do not.

For example: feeling jealous because our partner flirts with another person (jealousy is generated by their behavior, the situation itself) and feeling envious of someone who has just bought a car.

Origin, cause

Generally, jealousy is born from the fear of losing something that we already “have” and envy is born from what we want and do not have. Although couples do not belong to us (we are free people, not objects that belong to people), when someone is very jealous he may feel that he will “lose” that person and that is what generates fear and discomfort. Instead, Envy arises when we envy something they have (or are) the others and we do not have (or are).

Fear or anger?

Another difference between jealousy and envy has to do with the feeling that they cause (or the feeling that usually predominates). In the case of jealousy, what predominates is an intense fear of losing something; On the other hand, in envy, the predominant feeling is anger, as well as the resentment generated by not having what we long for.

Anyway, Jealousy can also generate anger and envy, fear. (we are talking, however, about what usually predominates in each case).

Consequences

The consequences of being jealous and envious can also differ. In the case of jealousy, it can become pathological and cause real discomfort in the person who suffers from it (especially in relationships). Envy, for its part, is not usually so destructive; It usually makes us uncomfortable, but more momentary than in the case of jealousy.

Scope of life

Envy usually appears in any context of life: work, studies, partner… On the other hand, jealousy is usually more specific to the field of love. However, we insist, both emotions can appear in any area of ​​our lives.

Possibility or certainty?

In general, we could say that in jealousy the emotion appears due to uncertainty, due to the fear that another person will appear and “take away” what we feel is ours (it is a possibility, a future anticipation).

On the other hand, in the case of envy, this appears due to a certainty: There is something that is causing us emotion, something real and palpable, tangible (it is not a future anticipation, it is something certain that is happening in the present).

Is it normal to feel this way?

Feeling jealousy and envy, to some extent, is normal (if we go to our ancestors, these feelings could even have evolutionary meaning); However, when these interfere with our lives and appear with marked intensity, asking for help never hurts. In these cases, we speak of pathological feelings (that would no longer fulfill their adaptive function).

We tend to attribute jealousy to the realm of love and relationships and envy to the more “earthly” realm. (that is, to objects, possessions, wealth…). In general, jealousy appears in the relationship. On the other hand, envy usually originates when we see that others have “more” than us (or have “that” that we want so much and that, however, we do not have).

The importance of working on jealousy and envy

To work on jealousy and envy, we have to stop focusing on what we don’t have (in the case of envy) and stop thinking that that person “belongs to us” (in the case of jealousy). Given that, love is about freedom, not possession and jealousy (and these have more to do with fear than love).

On the other hand, enhancing the person’s self-esteem in both cases can be beneficial: we must think that we are unique beings and that compare ourselves with others, if it is not to improve, it will always harm us (it’s not healthy!). Thus, psychotherapy is a good tool to work on these feelings in case they really interfere with our well-being.

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