6 Behavioral Models That Convert Normal People Into “Giver Parents”

All parents love their children and this is very natural. But some adults believe that parenting gives them rights and benefits and makes them better and wiser than others. They love to share their invaluable experience when no one asks, take their colleagues’ time with long stories about their son in the middle of work, and demand that they serve them without going through the supermarket line. Let’s say they’re “money dads”, individuals who match the worst behavioral patterns of parenting.

At the awesome.club we believe that fanaticism is not cool in any aspect of life, even when it comes to family affection. That’s why we’ve collected the most absurd manifestations of parental love and found studies that show that this behavior not only annoys others, but ultimately harms both the parents themselves and their children.

For some adults, having a child is a kind of permission for whatever behavior suits them, even if it goes beyond social norms. It can be expressed in any way: going through the checkout counter without waiting in line at the supermarket or even asking permission, undressing the child in the middle of the park to do his business or taking an older boy to the girls’ bathroom – at this point there are always discussions about until what age can this be done. And there are parents who, upon hearing a comment, even if completely harmless, are willing to explode into a speech that their rights are being violated.

A few years ago, children unconditionally obeyed adults and practically had no right to express their opinion. Some modern parents, on the other hand, are sure that the child is the main member of the family and any disapproval or criticism will do irreparable harm.

They may find an excuse for any pranks of their “baby”, such as blaming other children, as they believe that they are certainly the ones who started the fight. Did you take your sister’s money? She was probably just kidding. Did you eat goodies without paying at the store? Well, she’s just a kid, she just couldn’t resist the temptation. Often these adults don’t want to be responsible for their child’s actions and hide behind the fact that they are small and innocent. Which, of course, annoys everyone.

In some cases, instead of being a new member of the family, the beloved baby becomes a way of improving social status. Some adults believe that they fulfill their civic duties with procreation, which is why the child makes them more important and meaningful.

Unfortunately, this is more noticeable in people who have no other achievements and interests in life. After all, being a mother, you can win the dispute with your friend who has a successful career, which means that she has turned 30 and has not yet had children. Or telling a friend he’s childish for traveling 5 times a year instead of becoming more responsible and serious. But the only result of this attitude is people’s reluctance to continue relating to you.

After the birth of children, some women decide to dedicate themselves entirely to their education, and this is normal. Especially when they have several. However, they understand that their choice is not the only correct one. Some prefer to go back to work as soon as possible, and there are those who refuse to have children for the sake of their careers.

The case of someone who has decided that children are his profession and his vocation can be very different. Some of these mothers demand respect and social recognition for raising a child, they seriously believe that all people hate their jobs but are forced to do it for money, and they look down on mothers who have a job.

For some parents, the motto “only the best for my children” is the main commandment of education. The mother of such a family can proudly say that she has given up her career to devote all her time to the children, and the father, who has been without a vacation for several years because the children always need something: new toys, electronic gadgets, travel. and recreation.

It’s hard to say whether this approach is right for them. It is unlikely that a child used to being the center of the world will eventually want to take care of himself, because this role is perfectly performed by the parents. This often leads to elderly parents keeping their children as adults, because for some reason they never get along with problems and need your support all the time.

Of course, it’s not about giving up a pregnant woman’s seat on public transport, but about more global things. For example, leaving work early or applying for permissions, hiding behind the fact that your child is home alone, even if they are already a teenager.

Demanding that they be allowed to pass first in the queues, that they give him a place on a park bench because the child needs to rest in the shade: all these things give the impression that some fathers and mothers take advantage of their children to have more comfortable conditions in the life, which does not leave others indifferent. Especially if they themselves have children, but don’t feel that other people owe them anything because of it.

If we look at current research, it will be clear that obsession with the child harms him as much as it does his parents:

Many young mothers admit that they are depressed and feel unfulfilled due to lack of free time and social activity. Young parents often envy childless friends who travel more often and spend more money on themselves, in addition to feeling that life is passing by. Those who have dedicated their entire lives to parenthood often feel emptiness and a loss of meaning in life as their children grow up and leave. Children who are overprotected in childhood often become more anxious, prone to depression, and have a harder time adjusting in adulthood because they don’t have much self-confidence.

On the other hand, children used to independence become happier and more confident. And parents who spend more time together and share their hobbies are less likely to get divorced and are generally more comfortable as a family.

Life is multifaceted and children are one of the most important parts of it. Among your acquaintances, are there people who suffer from “free-kid parent syndrome”?