56 fun phrases to laugh and share with friends

Those who get up early are sleepy all day.

Don’t throw me indirections. Throw me money.

I never make the same mistake twice… I make it like five times, just to make sure it’s really wrong!

If you’re going to speak ill of me, call me, I know terrible things about myself.

Tati Bernardi

If your ex-girlfriend says: you will never find anyone like me, reply: amen, I want someone different.

Jo Soares

Some have money. Some have beauty. I’m sleepy.

I woke up so cute today, when I went to yawn, I meowed.

I’ve always been poor, but this month I’m to be congratulated.

Cinnamon: Device for finding furniture in the dark.

Worse than having nowhere to drop dead is having nowhere to stand alive.

When you are sad, nobody repairs your tears. When you are happy, nobody notices your smile. Try letting out a fart.

You love a song… Until you set it as an alarm clock.

Whoever has a mouth says what he wants. Whoever has money goes to Rome!

In Brazil, taxes attract.

How nice it would be if I lost weight as easily as I lose my temper.

In the tests I always use the Universal Hypothetical Technical Estimate Calculation, popularly known as CHUTE

You give the person a second chance and they want a third, fourth, fifth…

Be patient, one hour your love will arrive. And when he arrives, have even more patience to hold on!

I only leave each with my clothes wrinkled because life goes by and we don’t even see it.

I don’t take anyone the wrong way. I don’t even know how I got here, how I’m going to bring people.

I can’t even find the tip of the tape. Imagine the love of my life.

My favorite month is vacation!

My tastes don’t match my bank account.

My life is that huge math account I missed because of a sign.

Dear diary, things got a little out of hand. I don’t understand anymore.

Society really likes carrot cake with chocolate frosting.

Guys, you who have already taken a path… Tell me, what do you like?

Rumors that I already woke up, but nothing confirmed yet.

I just don’t throw it all away, because then I’ll have to put it all together.

If only ashes remain in the future, remember that in the past we sent embers!

Happy are those who can sleep after lunch.

I want a cell phone that, in addition to identifying the call, identifies the subject of the call so I can decide whether to answer it or not.

Heads up! For those who take care of my life… This month’s bills have arrived.

There are a lot of floor cloths if you find a duvet.

Dear math, I’m tired of trying to find your “X”. Accept the fact that he is gone. I’m sorry!

If to err is human, getting it right must be something extraterrestrial.

Patience is everything. Everything I don’t have.

And if life becomes a bar, let it be chocolate!

Spell to earn money: wake up early, shower and go to work.

I wanted to go to Paris like last year… Last year I didn’t go either, but I wanted to!

Life is short. Start with dessert.

If life is too bitter, give it a whirl. Sometimes the sugar is at the bottom.

I’m doing the math here and this month won’t work, I’ll have to win the lottery.

If my mother only knew the mess that is inside of me, she would never complain about my room again.

Jealousy is like tapping your pinky toe on the couch: silly thing but it hurts too much.

Be the person your dog thinks you are.

During the day sleep comes, at night sleep goes… My biological clock must be from Paraguay!

In the land of Whatsapp, a call is proof of love.

I had a sweet side, but I ate it.

Over time we learn that attention, affection and blush have to be in the right measure. If not, we end up being a clown.

I’m rooting for the happiness of others, happy people don’t bother.

The heat is so much that if someone treats me coldly I appreciate it.

Love is not what you spend your whole life trying to define. Its name is abdomen. Love is something else!

Every pan has its lid. Now, who ordered you to be born a frying pan?

I’m tired of being boring, now I’m going to be unbearable!

Let’s laugh, because shooting is still a crime.