55 funny and clever phrases to laugh with your hand on your conscience

The important thing is not to be someone who knows everyone, but to be friends with someone who knows. I turned on power saving mode to maintain relationships.

Maybe the emptiness you feel isn’t lack of love, it’s lack of food.

Smart people never make mistakes with others, they just make scientific mistakes.

The intelligent person knows that walking slowly is better because he also gets somewhere and arrives without being tired.

Better to laugh than cry because we look better smiling and don’t dehydrate.

Since I can’t change the world, I’ll save my energy by sleeping.

Drinking doesn’t make me less smart, in fact, it makes me braver to show how smart I am.

The only magic formula for making money is waking up and going to work.

We don’t drink every day to avoid being an alcoholic. So, we drink day in and day out.

It’s not laziness, it just so happens that I’ve analyzed all the probabilities and none will work.

Analyzing the probabilities of getting out of bed in the cold and gave 0% chance.

There are women who still believe in fairy tales, kissing frog after frog to find Prince Charming.

As an inert body saves energy, tends to stay still, I chose to lie down today.

The more energy I save, the more energy I have to spend resting.

I chose to wait… The card flipped.

Caroline Oliveira

The best thing about being smart is listening to other people’s bullshit and knowing that they are lying to impress you.

What fun is it to be smart and keep believing that work makes us rich?

The person does everything the same every day and asks life to surprise him.

Missing someone to warm me up, but I’m making the smart and less complicated option: buying a heater.

I’m not lazy, I’m a strategist and I direct my energy to what matters.

Too tired to expend energy that will take hours to produce again.

Everything will pass, it may be on top of you, different from what you want, but it will pass.

Life is a runaway truck with no brakes, and you just hope you don’t crash and survive.

Trust your future self, it is capable of doing what your past self could not and what your present self is not willing to do.

I don’t cry anymore because I just want to get wrinkles from smiling.

My qualities are so incredible that only extraordinary people can recognize them.

You can choose: do you have a dish to wash or a lot to mop? You’re taking too much care of my life.

The man can’t even find where he put the TV remote and wants to be able to find the clitoris.

I don’t need prince charming, I need money.

I’m an independent woman, but… If you want to pay my bills, I’ll take it.

Forgetting what you were going to say is a blessing that keeps you from regretting talking nonsense.

The truth is this: smart people have dumb attitudes when they’re in love.

What’s the point of being a genius if you can’t even talk to people who are interested?

Don’t be discouraged if life is hard because it can always get worse.

If someone can explain it to me, I’ll marry without thinking twice.

Currently, the young man marries to split the bills. Love is a thing of the past.

I don’t believe in men because I’m too smart to believe in fantasy.

Running is for the dumb, the smart go by car.

Thief at least steals to help around the house, what about the politician?

The burden of being smart is having no memory for anything. You even forget who you are. I just know that I don’t remember anything.

I drink to get out of my head, but, funny, she insists on accompanying me wherever I go.

I don’t need to know everything, I just need to know someone who can explain everything to me.

Smart are not afraid, they analyze the risks and decide if it will work or not.

Money doesn’t fall from the sky, but if it did, you wouldn’t be able to catch it because you’re always looking at your cell phone.

My worst enemy is myself who thinks I will always do it when the deadline is tight.

It’s rare to find beautiful, interesting, intelligent and humble people… We are few!

My life represented in Roman numerals: VIXI.

The nice thing about sarcasm is that the smart get it and the idiots get offended.

I’m from the time when ridicule was to be avoided, not a goal to be achieved.

Did you know? The smartest people in the world live in the world.

There are two types of people in the world: the smart ones and the ones who come back with exes.

Who has a limit is credit card, baby.

Cell phones are getting thinner and smarter, unlike people.

Sometimes it’s better to keep quiet and let them think you’re an idiot than to open your mouth and leave no doubt!

Whoever invented seriousness could only be joking.