5 reasons physical punishment is the worst parenting option (and 5 methods that work best)

Incredible as it may seem, physical punishment is still a common method used in the “education” of children perceived as naughty and disobedient: at least 4 out of 5 parents resort to it. And in 9 out of 10 cases, physical punishment is applied by a woman, either the mother or the child’s caregiver. There are those who do not hesitate to hit their children, and the most desperate use anything they have at hand for this purpose, such as a belt. But although many people think that they are setting their children on the right path and that such actions are harmless, studies show that aggression is not only harmful, it also has no effect.

In this post, the incredible.club shows why physical punishment should be avoided, as well as presenting other, more effective methods of raising children.

Yes, children can be aggressive, and any parent’s patience has limits. But resorting to physical punishment does nothing to help. Research shows that violence does not work, in the long run, as a method of disciplining a child, as they need to internalize the causes of their bad behavior. In other words, children need to understand: they need an explanation that clarifies what is wrong with their attitude. Violence is just a quick way to stop the child’s unwanted actions.

Research has shown that most cases of child abuse begin with spanking. And since physical punishment doesn’t work, many parents increase the intensity of the force applied whenever their child doesn’t behave as he should. On each occasion, the parent hopes that physical punishment will have a permanent effect on discipline, but it never does. As a consequence, they increase the use of force and end up abusing their own children in a way that they could not even imagine.

Children who were physically punished during childhood are more likely to use violence against their own children and spouses. They are even more at risk of become criminals🇧🇷 And it is not surprising that this happens: the parents’ words can convince their children, but the example given causes a much greater impact. When a parent resorts to a slap to resolve a conflict, it shows the child that he can do the same.

If your partner physically assaulted you, would you still believe that person likes you? Difficultly. And the same happens with children, who begin to have Doubts about maternal and paternal love when they suffer physical punishment. As the lives of little ones revolve around their parents, they begin to feel that they are not loved, and may even develop depression. This affects the children’s socialization process, in addition to generating frustration.

Even if they only witness episodes of violence, children go through peaks of stress that compromise their immune system. And regularly being the victim of physical punishment has an even greater effect: the immune system it is so affected that the child becomes more susceptible to disease. When the child is already presenting health problems, spanking only makes the picture even more complicated.

patience is running out
Reconsider your expectations and ask yourself if that child’s behavior is in accordance with the age and stage of child development, just as it happens when the little one is around 2 years old and asks “why” all the time. With this, you will be able to hold back your impulses and reflect on the situation with a much more benevolent posture.

You ask the child to behave well, but he keeps disobeying
Avoid assuming that the child knows what mistake he made or that he knows what you mean when you say “behave yourself”. Be precise when explaining what the child did wrong, and why. A simple “don’t pinch your brother, it hurts” will not work.

Your child is about to lose control
When children are on the verge of losing control, reacting in a way that increases tension will only make things worse. Stay calm, make eye contact, and lower your voice. Calm has the powerful ability to stimulate peace in those involved in a conflict.

Your child is having a tantrum
Use your “cooling time” card. Slowly take your child to a quiet place and explain why the behavior is not acceptable. Then tell him he can play again as soon as he calms down, and wait two minutes. If the child argues or screams again, start the two-minute countdown again. It’s best to stay by her side to help her calm down.

Your child, who is not so young anymore, doesn’t care what you say
Allow the little one to suffer the consequences of bad behavior, as long as they do not cause harm. Thus, the child will learn from his own mistakes. It is forbidden to say things like: “I told you so”.

Have you used any of the methods mentioned above? Do you think that parents also suffer when they apply physical punishment to their children? Comment!