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If your partner has anxiety, listen to them and don’t minimize their feelings. She needs your support and understanding, don’t pressure her.
To support your partner with anxiety, the starting point is to know what it is and how it manifests itself. From your own experience, you probably have a slight idea of what it is about, but the difference between superficial and deep knowledge when it comes to helping is very important.
Anxiety is defined by DSM-5 as an anticipatory response to a future threat. This response is related to muscle tension, vigilance in relation to future danger and cautious or avoidant behaviors, which are used as a coping strategy in the face of the anxiety-inducing situation. We can also see it associated with other symptoms, such as nervousness, agitation, tremors, worry, difficulty concentrating, among others.
In people who frequently suffer from anxiety disorders intrusive thoughts become worries about likely future events and consequencesor they take the form of catastrophic interpretations of past events that highlight the negative, especially the mistakes that the individual may have made (Sarason and Sarason, 2006).
1. Don’t minimize your partner’s feelings
Even if the anxiety your partner is experiencing doesn’t make sense from your perspective, Don’t invalidate their feelings. Try to understand the emotions you are feeling or the thoughts you are thinking. She recognizes that all of these cognitive, emotional, and physiological manifestations are real for her.
Pathological anxiety is not easy to cope with and its solution is not simple either, but You can support your partner with compassion, acceptance and empathy. Don’t judge her feelings, rather understand them, so she doesn’t feel misunderstood.
2. Listen to her and ask her about her feelings
A good way to help your partner with anxiety is to listen to them and be interested in their feelings.. This will not only make her feel supported, but will also help her put words to what she is experiencing.
By listening to her you will learn more about her anxiety and how it works.. Enabling them to talk about their experience will allow you to better understand their inner world; Thus, you will have a deeper and more precise idea about the moment your partner is going through.
3. Help her seek treatment and participate when you can
To support your partner with anxiety, encourage them to consult with a specialist. Remember that You are not their therapist, so do not try to perform interventions that require training and experience. What you can do is accompany her in the process.
If you want to help your partner choose a type of therapy for their problem, you can consult this guide from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.
4. Encourage, do not pressure
Your partner’s anxious behavior can be frustrating, and it’s understandable. However, Try not to force your partner to make changes. Decisions about your behavior ultimately belong to you.
On the other hand, by encouraging her you not only make her feel supported, you also make her realize that you see a better future for her and that you believe she can achieve it. She encourages her, motivates her from closeness, love and commitment.
5. Make her feel like you are a safe place for her
Another way to support your partner with anxiety is showing your unconditional love. It is common for some anxious people to see their anxiety further enhanced by working with a thought: I don’t deserve that anyone loves me; I am making it very difficult for those around me, I am not worthy of their affection. Thus, it doesn’t hurt to remind them from time to time how much they contribute to us and why we want them by our side.
On the other hand, Encourage her to maintain her autonomy. Give him space to do what he can do; Don’t make it more difficult for him, but at the same time he tries not to grow dependency on him.
How can you take care of yourself?
Taking care of yourself while providing support to your partner in these circumstances is essential. In this sense, take into account the following recommendations:
Try to maintain your routines.Don’t lose sight of your limits. By helping others, don’t create another problem. Save time to do activities that help you distract and relax. Relaxation techniques can be of great help at this time.do exerciseeven if it’s just a short walk a few times a week. If you’re having emotional problems because you feel guilt, fear, or anger, consider seeing a therapist.
On many occasions, the challenge of living with and caring for a partner with anxiety is not easy.. We need a good dose of affection, but also patience and tolerance for frustration.
We are not therapists, so our first mission will be to encourage her to put herself in the hands of a specialist. The second will be to accompany her in the process, so that she feels that we want to help her, reminding her along the way that we have many reasons to continue by her side.
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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
American Psychiatric Association (2014). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed). Pan-American Medical Editorial. Sarason, I. and Sarason, B. (2006).Psychopathology. Abnormal psychology: the problem of maladaptive behavior (11th ed.). Pearson Education.Sue, D., Sue, DW, & Sue, S. (2010). Psychopathology. Understanding abnormal behavior(9th ed.). Cengage Learning.
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