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4 Signs You’ve Lost Yourself

Maintaining a healthy relationship with ourselves is essential for our well-being. Therefore, we show you some warning signs that may indicate that you are neglecting this important link.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

How is your relationship with you? Surely this is a question that you have rarely asked yourself. And, although we worry about taking care of our ties with others, we often neglect the one we maintain with ourselves. Therefore, we are going to list the main signs that can help you identify that you have lost yourself.

We must keep in mind that self-respect, care and compassion for ourselves are essential for our well-being and mental health. Nevertheless, Any love that is neglected can fall into infidelity, even your own. Therefore, it is necessary to review this important relationship and ensure that it remains healthy.

You never prioritize yourself

One of the clearest signs is never choosing yourself first when you have to choose. For example, you postpone your own obligations and tasks to help others fulfill theirs and you even give up your rest time to satisfy the desires, needs and favors that others ask of you.

Thus, everything related to you comes last. You do not hesitate to give in to the tastes and preferences of others, forgetting your own opinion. And, ultimately, somehow it seems more relevant to you to be helpful to others than loyal to yourself and your needs.

You want to please

It is evident that, as social beings, we all want to please the people around us. But when you’ve lost yourself, you do it even if it is necessary to go over you.

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In this way, you access plans and activities that you do not like or desire just to gain the favor of others. It is really difficult for you to say “no”, because you fear, by doing so, losing the love or approval of the other person.. Thus, it is even possible that you may fall into behavior contrary to your own convictions and values ​​if another person asks you to.

You ask for forgiveness without being guilty

A very common behavior in those who have lost themselves is to ask for forgiveness even though they are aware that they have not done anything wrong. The person knows that he has not acted incorrectly; however, fear of conflict, rejection, fear of abandonment prevent you from defending your position.

Thus He prefers to apologize and accept responsibility for an argument of which he is not guilty, just to reduce anxiety. In his eyes, the other’s anger is a warning that he or she may leave or withdraw affection from him, so it is necessary to end that anger even if this means humiliating himself.

You constantly complain

Finally, it might seem that complaining is an attitude of someone loaded with self-esteem and capable of expressing what they want. However, Complaints are not synonymous with assertive communication. Expressing what you think and need in a calm and respectful way is appropriate. However, when our relationships are based on constantly asking others to meet our needs, something is wrong.

Yeah you maintain ties in which you feel that you do not belong Reciprocally, ask yourself why are you still in them? Likewise, reflect on whether your expectations regarding relationships are adjusted or unrealistic.

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In either case, there is an underlying lack of self-love and self-care; When you complain, you look for others to give you what you lack in yourself.. And you are missing because you stopped being there for yourself a long time ago.

If you have lost yourself, recover

Thus, if you see yourself reflected in the previous signs, it is likely that you have been more careless than necessary. That’s why It is time for you to become aware that the relationship with yourself is the most important of all. the ones you can keep and that you start taking care of it with care and respect.

It is not easy to abandon the habit of pleasing and pleasing others, especially when our self-esteem is not strengthened. However, with perseverance, every small action will lead us to recovery. Start prioritizing yourself, listening to yourself and defending your rights and opinions. Act according to your values ​​and do not fear being abandoned, because there is nothing more painful than losing yourself.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Westwood, P.A. (2017). The role of self-respect in John Rawls’s theory of justice. HYBRIS, Journal of Philosophy, 8(2), 55-76.Bourbeau, L. (2011). The five wounds that prevent you from being yourself. OB STARE.

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