4 keys to developing empathy

Of all the abilities that allow a person to develop as a social being in their environment, empathy is one of the most relevant. Therefore, improving empathy becomes almost necessary for all of us.

Empathy allows us to develop as social beings, in fact it helps us understand and communicate with others. It is that ability that teaches us that there are more perspectives than ours. and that each person observes the world according to everything that has happened in their history. In this way, it helps us establish solid bonds and in some way makes us more cautious when judging others. For all this, it is of great importance to develop empathy.

Thanks to her, It will be easier for us to identify how others feel, as well as express what our feelings are. Empathy is an art, a capacity that allows us to tune in to others and strengthen our bonds with them. Let’s dig deeper.

Sympathizing is not empathizing

First of all, it is important differentiate sympathy from empathy, especially from the more psychological conception of both terms. According to the Dictionary of the Spanish Language, sympathy is “the emotional inclination between people, generally spontaneous and mutual,” while empathy is “the feeling of identification with something or someone.”

This difference is certainly relevant, since it is normal for us to think that we are empathizing with someone when, in reality, we are not. Being kind and loving to others does not make us empathetic; To achieve this, it is important to go further, We must try to understand the other person from their perspective and not from ours.

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Improve empathy to resolve conflicts

Thanks to the emotional and cognitive connection that this ability allows, empathy can help us solve problems peacefully. By understanding others, it will be easier not to get carried away by our impulses.

To empathize is to understand, for example, why a person feels unhappy after losing their job, or elated when they find out that they are going to have a child. Generally, relating events to our own experiences is a good empathy mechanism.

To develop empathy we can do some exercises. They are simple to do and can significantly help us improve our relationship with the environment.

How to develop empathy?

First of all, it is important to understand that Our progress and personal development can closely depend on our emotional intelligence. Therefore, before trying to put these exercises into practice, we should try to understand the importance of developing this type of intelligence.

Subsequently, we could begin to put into practice the exercises described below.

1. Train the ability to listen

To understand the people with whom we interact, it is very important to know how to listen; But listening does not mean understanding the other’s words. To truly listen, we should pay full attention to the non-literal message and non-verbal communication.

In order to improve this listening skill, it is also very important to:

Do not interrupt.Not constantly giving our opinion.Listen to the message without judging.Pay attention to non-verbal communication.

This last point is the most important, since it gives us clues that are relatively easy to observe. about what that person really feels.

Pragmatic information – whether gestural information, prosodic information or the person’s system of beliefs and opinions – determines, to a large extent, our way of communicating and the success of the exchange between two people.

Therefore, it is important try to understand a person’s emotional system, through the interpretation of their non-strictly verbal communication patterns, in order to be successful in our empathic practice. Therefore, how something is said is often more important than the content of the message itself.

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2. Stay calm and opt for tranquility

Learning to stay calm will help us improve our empathy, since Without peace of mind the ability to listen can be reduced. If we want to improve our ability to listen, it is important to start from a relaxed state of mind and open to different communicative possibilities.

In that sense, practices such as breathing control or meditation They can benefit us significantly.

3. Bet on patience

In relation to the previous point, patience is also closely linked to empathy. To understand the cognitive and emotional processes of those around us we need time and we need spend that time patiently.

We may at first unconsciously refuse to understand the other, but with patience, the chances of achieving it will be much greater.

4. Ask about emotions and not data

This point is essential if we want to be successful in developing empathy. As we have already seen, empathy can sometimes have little to do with the literal message in a conversation; on the contrary, tends to relate more to emotions.

Therefore, The more interested we are in the emotions of others, the more empathetic we can be.. For example, when faced with information such as “I was promoted yesterday at work”, a person who is not very empathetic or disinterested may ask something like “And what are you going to do now? Will you work the same hours?”

“The most precious gift we can give to others is our presence. When our mindfulness embraces those we love, they bloom like flowers.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh-

However, a more empathetic person may respond with something like, “And how did you feel? I imagine it’s wonderful. Do you feel like celebrating?” That is, it would show greater concern for what the person feels than for the practicalities of the matter.

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After all, communication is not based exclusively on the exchange of words; in fact, Communication in words represents a low percentage of what we really communicate. Much less, although it may not seem like it, than emotional communication.