3 questions you should ask yourself before ending a relationship

End a relationship It is a decision that we will always remember. It doesn’t matter if it is right or not, whether it is good or bad, for us, it is not forgotten. We will seek support and understanding from other people, but in the end it is about our decision, our life and it is necessary to listen to our intuition.

First of all, Think about what that relationship will be like if it continues in a year or five years, Maybe that perspective gives you an idea of ​​what you want to do, what makes you feel good or bad. It is necessary to be very realistic and not deceive ourselves, since this can harm us and the other person.

To know if it is time to end our relationship, Perhaps it is time to ask ourselves questions without looking for blame. Relationships are a matter of two, we simply have to seek to understand what has happened and how we can learn from it with wisdom and patience.

Questions you should ask yourself before ending a relationship

Breaking up hurts, but staying in a relationship that doesn’t work hurts more.

The psychologist Walter Riso maintains that Healthy love contains three elements: eros (sexual desire), philia (friendship) and agape (tenderness, delicacy) and that one can never be missing, because if one is missing, suffering will appear since we will feel that the relationship is incomplete.

Is this the relationship I want?

If we stop to think about whether the relationship we have is the one we want, we will achieve a clear perspective of what we really want. It is important to be very realistic with our relationshipAs we said before, do not excuse certain situations or attitudes that we do not like.

If we want something else, If we want to have another type of relationship, perhaps we are simply not with the right person. It’s time to put sorrows aside. “If I leave her she will suffer”, “I’m not happy, but he is still the person in my life and now I don’t see him”…are phrases that we repeat a lot. Breakups are not easy, however, continuing a dead relationship is worse than ending said relationship. You are both missing out on many opportunities to meet other people, or simply to live a single life.

What do you lose and what do you gain from the relationship and the breakup?

Many times we insist on continuing with agonizing relationships, without realizing that it can be a liberation to break up with a person who does not make us happy or with whom we are not comfortable. Fear is usually the emotion that paralyzes us. Both the fear of hurting the other person and the fear of suffering ourselves. That is why it is important to take the step… and know that the first ones will be the most complicated. However, it is part of the process.

As Walter Riso says, why humiliate yourself? Humiliation in any of its forms – begging, swearing, bowing your head, flattering the other excessively – has a boomerang effect, because humiliation over time produces discomfort.

It is advisable to do an analysis of the relationship and the possible breakup to see what we lose and what we gain. But above all, It is important to see what we feel, what our heart and our intuition tell us. That feeling that we can feel deep within ourselves, we cannot ignore it. When we are comfortable in a relationship we simply know it, just like when something goes wrong.

Ending a relationship: Does the problem have a solution?

It is important to see if there is a possibility of resolving the conflict.

For example, if the problem is that the couple has differences and argues a lot, perhaps the solution is to learn to argue maturely and manage emotions. However, If there has been infidelity you have to be very aware of whether you are capable of forgetting and forgive, because otherwise maybe that’s a good reason not to try again.

If you ask yourself all of the above questions and decide to end a relationship, it is likely that you will have a hard time for a while, but any pain will fade and be overcome as the days go by. Each person needs time to assimilate, but there will come a time when you will realize that you made the right decision with maturity and courage.

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