20 sentences by Contardo Calligaris for those who love psychoanalysis

Love and passion do not necessarily make us happy, but they are a celebration and a joy because we can expect at least this from them: that they make us a little different, that they change us.

It is necessary to fully feel the pain: loss, grief, failure. I think this ideal of happiness that tries to spare us from everything bad is a tremendous disaster.

The regularity of having to write a column each week forces you to have things worth telling.

The adventure does not depend only on the encounter with the unusual, it is, above all, a disposition of the spirit.

The dialogue that leads to love gives each one the will to take risks, it does not arise from seduction and charm, but from the courage to stand up for our failures, wounds and losses.

Two possibilities: love arises when it is time for us to transform, or else, it is for love that we transform. No need to take sides: maybe both are true

I don’t really like the word happiness, to be honest. I think it’s even a marketing illusion.

I want to live whatever comes, comedies, tangos and tragedies.

Messaging is one thing that bores me to death. I write to tell interesting stories.

Ideal love needs distance.

We are always lamenting that our children would be a hedonistic generation, dedicated to immediate pleasures, when, in fact, we live in a very non-hedonistic civilization.

That’s why we complain about excesses and indulge in mediocre or very discreet pleasures. We link happiness to the satisfaction of desires, which is totally antithetical to the very functioning of our culture, founded on dissatisfaction.

I don’t want to be happy. I want to have an interesting life.

Having an interesting life means living fully. This presupposes that you can despair when you run out of something that is very important to you. It is necessary to fully feel the pain: loss, grief, failure.

The idea that one day a person will live a great adventure is implied. But what happens, in general, is that preparation is the only thing that we allow ourselves to do.

It includes small pleasures, but also great pains. Having an interesting life means living fully.

Dreams are small. The notion of happiness today is a secure job, a peaceful future, health and, as the birthday song says, many years of life.

I find it strange when I see an 18-year-old who, when making a career choice, takes into account the job market, opportunities, money.

The profile is your presentation to the world, which implies a certain amount of work to falsify your image and even self-image. In social networks, happiness gives status.