20 People Who Had The Most Horrible First Dates In History

The Internet user who goes by the name of akagenonogitsune gathered some super disastrous first date stories. Most likely, these people suffered a lot at first, but then they realized that the best thing to do was to accept it and laugh, after all, after a while, these stories turn into jokes that we all take for the rest of our lives.

Today the awesome.club brings 20 super fun examples. We hope you have a good laugh and aren’t afraid to share your story. Read on to the end to see that even the most tragic first dates can have a happy ending.

“In the middle of dinner he saw a dove, he screamed ‘Bastard!’, he ran away and never came back”.

“I’m dentist. In the middle of dinner she asked me to look at her teeth and stayed 3 minutes with her mouth open while I tried to explain why that was not appropriate”.

“He said he wanted to have a rhinoplasty so his children wouldn’t inherit his nose. Very smart…”

“On the first date: ‘Women look me in the face and don’t want anything to do with me…’ Me: ‘But what’s wrong with your face?’ And he said, ‘Well, I’m handsome…’ At first I thought he was joking, but he was serious. When I said, ‘I’m prettier than you’, he got offended”.

“There were a lot of people in the park, it was night and the grille was lit. At that point, he decided to show me karate moves and couldn’t think of anything better to do than kick the lamp. The light bulb started to spark, he fell to the floor and started screaming. All the people who were on the side started crying with laughter. He couldn’t help himself with embarrassment, he got up and ran out of the park without saying anything.

We passed a supermarket and I saw that he liked to sample a lot of products, and he seemed to know what he was doing. He quickly went to the fruit sector, started eating gossip (he even peeled one for me), told me to taste some grapes, an apple and other fruits. Afterwards, he went to the sweets sector, opened a can of dulce de leche and started eating. And again he behaved like a gentleman, he offered it to me and said: “Try it, this brand is great”.

“He: ‘How many floors are in the building where you live?’ Me: ‘9 floors’. He: ‘And why aren’t there 7?’ To be honest, this question confused me and I didn’t answer it. After that, he spent 20 minutes talking about the importance of buildings having 7 floors, which was much better than 9. I didn’t understand absolutely nothing”.

“He just talked about the C1-350 oscilloscope. At first, I implied that I wasn’t interested; After half an hour, I said I didn’t understand anything about the subject. To which he replied: ‘I’ll make a drawing for you to understand’, and began to draw a huge diagram on the table”.

“This ‘future great actor’ got drunk and started to tell a fable: ‘On the branch of a tree, boastful, happy and with a cheese in his beak, was the master crow…’ He climbed up on the chair as if he were a child and started screaming to the whole restaurant. But I have to admit that he played Mister Raven very well.”

“He spent two hours talking about him: his birthdays, what he was like as a child, how many nephews he had, etc. He didn’t let me say anything in that monologue. In the end, I got up to leave. He went on to talk about how beautiful his cat was and said, “I think this date was perfect.” He thought a little and added: ‘I also studied music for 3 years, I know how to do Paella and I know how to sew, it was my mother who taught me’. He talked so much that I couldn’t even find a good moment to say goodbye.

“We went for a walk in the park, we sat down on a bench and he said, ‘I’ll be right back.’ He went to the ice cream man, had a popsicle and came back ”.

“I am 19 years old. A boy invited me to dinner. Before leaving, I put on false eyelashes, but they fell into the soup. It was one of those uncomfortable moments that our brain shrinks with embarrassment. I tried to remove the eyelashes without him noticing, but I don’t think it worked very well. He never asked me out again.”

“His cell phone suddenly rang and he said, ‘No, that’s fine. No, yes, well, it’s pretty. It is not cheap. Yes, I will be careful. No, we don’t drink. Yes I like. Okay, a kiss’. When he hung up the phone, he said, ‘Sorry, it was my mother, she was worried.’ He was about 40 years old.”

“I found out that he met women to read his poetry and get more likes on his website. In addition, he had been married for a long time, lived in a rented apartment, liked to talk about his happy childhood and always took his computer with him to show his photos from when he was a child”.

“For the first time in a long time I liked a guy. We met at a cafe and talked for a while. I thought, ‘That’s great, we have something in common’. Approximately an hour later, he fell asleep. He had defended his doctoral thesis and so he had slept very little. At first, I couldn’t stop laughing. Until the waitress came and said it was forbidden to sleep on the table. When I told her it was our first date, she started laughing with me and said I better not wake him up.”

“I ran into a boy and he said he liked the vase we had on our table. When we left, he took the vase out of his shirt and gave it to me with a smile on his face.”

“I had a first date with a mature and nice man. We had dinner at an expensive restaurant and when it was time to leave, he was arrested for tax evasion”.

“In the middle of dinner he told me he had a super dangerous job. I thought he was a fireman, but he said he was a postman. He said he worked in an area where the dogs were super aggressive and would always run after him.”

“It was late and I said I had to go. He replied: ‘I can’t go with you, you live in a very dangerous part of the city and my cell phone is new.’

“I suggested to her that we go for coffee on our first date. She said she needed to go somewhere to get a certificate and it would only take 5 minutes. Our first date was 4 hours of waiting”.

“He was a very elegant man and he was wearing a beautiful suit. When we finished dinner, we ordered cake and coffee. I took a bite, drank some, and squirted everything in my mouth all over his face and shirt. I didn’t know where to go. With tears in my eyes, I asked Zeus to throw a thunderbolt over my head. But he took a napkin and as he cleaned himself he said, ‘Sometimes it’s hard to control.’ And he started to laugh. We are still together, happily married.”

There are evils that come for good, right? And you, do you have a first date that was engraved in your mind? Share in the comments.