17 ways to discover an infidelity at work

When our partner is distant or different, our alert signal turns on.

We often ask ourselves “Is he being unfaithful to me?”

It’s natural, especially if they start spending less time in the relationship.

But it is not easy to perceive signs to discover an infidelity.

Sometimes his behavior clearly shows it to us, other times it’s well hidden and you don’t know it.

And although infidelity can occur in any field, it is very common for it to occur in your workplace.

Here I will give you the 17 simple signs to find out if you are being unfaithful with a coworker.

And, in addition, we will solve these doubts:

Why could he be cheating on you with someone at work? what could be their reasons for doing so?

Ready to find all the answers? Let’s get started!

Why do people cheat with their coworkers?

For many, the workplace is where they spend much of their week.

Office mates share laughter and tears, successes and failures…

But they all have something in common: their work.

So it’s easier to share problems with them, who are aware, than with a partner at home who can’t quite understand what’s going on.

You know the term “work wife”?

It is used as a joke, but its meaning makes a lot of sense.

If he has a partner that he spends eight hours a day, five days a week with, you’ll naturally bond (platonic or not).

When your partner is frustrated at work or at home, she can easily be your emotional support.

And it is that, sharing her day to day can make her emotionally involved with her.

There are several reasons that can push you to have an infidelity.

Here are some of the reasons why people cheat:

Long-term relationship problems Sexual desire problems with your current partner
A lack of affection/communication that can cause a void (which is then filled by having an affair)
Feeling bored or dissatisfied with the current partner

In this context, infidelity at work is easy to understand.

Not only because of daily coexistence, there is also the excuse that “he must work with her.”

Not as fishy as making a new friend at the gym, is it?

17 signs to detect if your partner is having an affair at work

These signs are related to a change in behavior or routine.

So it will depend on your judgment or instinct to determine if they fit your partner or not.

Alert your senses and read carefully!

1) Start working more hours or at different times

According to Tom Martin, a private investigator and writer of the book Seeing Life through Private Eyes, changing work hours is one of the classic signs of an affair.

Do you leave the office later than usual? Should you stay for “projects” until the night?

It is good to know that you will not be alone during those days, of course.

But possibly all that alone time could lift your relationship out of the platonic stage.

A simple time change in your routine can be a sign that you are seeing someone else.

2) You take more business trips than usual

Have you started traveling more frequently? And always with the excuse of work?

This is another classic cheating behavior change according to Martin.

Many people are tempted to travel with work colleagues, they see it as the perfect setting.

The “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” mentality can be very attractive.

Distance, or even a time difference, gives you the “freedom” you need to be with another person.

3) He frequently mentions his co-worker (or not)

Talking about a coworker can go in either direction.

Either he mentions her frequently, (possible indication that he’s in love), or he avoids mentioning her altogether.

If you have a name from work to be suspicious of, watch their reactions carefully.

For example, if his partner’s name is mentioned and his face lights up, or he seems nervous and quickly changes the subject, there may be something going on between them.

4) You put more effort into your appearance for work

Changes in appearance can be more or less noticeable.

According to Martin, an obvious possible sign would be wearing perfume every day or wearing smart office clothes.

Less obvious signs, that only you could detect, would be things like moisturizing your skin, or dressing fashionably.

These behaviors do not mean that your partner cannot try harder to make a good impression at work, of course.

But if you notice these changes, it might be worth commenting to see your reaction.

5) Confused reactions in your workplace

Rumors of infidelity spread like wildfire.

If your partner is cheating on you with someone at work, surely their office has already found out.

Perhaps the next time you visit him at the office, you can observe how his colleagues treat you.

If there are awkward or pitying looks between them, it may be a sign.

Of course, this tip is for observers. Keep in mind that you don’t know what goes on in the office. You may misinterpret some gestures for this reason.

Sharpen your senses and carefully evaluate whether what you perceive is a real sign of distrust or not.

6) He meets his co-worker outside of work

If you regularly talk to or meet her outside of the office, it could mean that your relationship is deepening.

Usually, if nothing happens, he should be open and willing for you to go for casual hookups.

If he avoids taking you and insists that they have a lot of work (on a Sunday), it is a sign of infidelity.

7) You want to change jobs suddenly

People change jobs for various reasons, but if you want to quit suddenly and have no real explanation for it, it could be cause for suspicion.

Especially if you’ve never talked about quitting your job before.

Perhaps their relationship has turned sour? That could make his job very uncomfortable for him.

If so, your solution will be no other than to leave.

8) Start being reserved with your mobile phone

Martin explains that being reserved with your phone is a major indicator that you have something to hide.

Especially if you are usually very open and confident when using it.

It is clear that each couple is different. Maybe keeping your phones private is normal.

But if he never leaves his phone unattended and is constantly texting, it may be a sign of infidelity.

Tip: how to know if your partner is unfaithful to you on WhatsApp?

He usually keeps the phone locked When he leaves it, he places it face down so you don’t see the notifications that arrive He has removed the “seen” option from the application He hides his connection time in the app

9) He does not want you to visit him at his workplace

If your partner is cheating on you with a coworker, chances are they don’t want you to meet them by the coffee machine.

Of course, you have to take their behavior into account before becoming suspicious.

If you didn’t usually meet up there, you may want to keep your work and personal life separate.

But if you used to meet him for lunch or pick him up from work and he avoids those plans, you might want to find out more about this sudden change.

10) Does not take you to work events

Continuing with the previous point, your partner may stop taking you to work parties.

Maybe he wants to prevent you from meeting his office mate or other colleagues.

It is likely that it is because of the fear that you will discover his infidelity.

You’ll probably want to know why he’s going without you, especially if you used to go to this type of event together.

Your request is valid, if it turns out to be an event for colleagues only.

But if it’s a couples’ meal and he doesn’t invite you, maybe it’s time to talk and find out why he doesn’t want you there.

11) Unexplained expenses or new tastes

Have you noticed expenses on your credit card that don’t make sense to you?

Maybe he’s reading a book, when before he said he didn’t enjoy reading.

Or you realize that his musical preferences have changed, he has even bought a new perfume.

These changes could be a sign that you want to have common tastes with your lover.

12) Work is a higher priority than your relationship

For many people it is a struggle to maintain a healthy balance between work and private life.

But, the vast majority of us will show frustration or regret for not being able to spend time with our loved ones when we are busy with work.

A cheater, on the other hand, will give priority to “work”, even if that means that their relationship continues to worsen.

If you show no interest in improving your relationship, but are excited about being in the office all the time, there is clear cause for concern.

13) Your relationship has changed or you avoid spending time together

Do you feel that your relationship has changed? Is your intimacy and communication no longer the same?

If your partner is dating an office mate, they probably share their problems with her. Since you have already discussed this, you may not need to do it at home.

When it comes to sex, you may be more distant and less likely to initiate it.

Or perhaps he no longer shows interest in making plans with you or is bored or annoyed by spending time together.

If you are involved with someone else, she could be taking the limelight.

All these changes in the relationship indicate that there is something wrong.

Cheating or not, you should probably start discussing these issues with him.

14) Start acting differently around you

Was he attentive before, but has he become distant?

Or maybe he pampers you more, although he used to be lazy.

Changes in his behavior towards you are a sign that something is up.

If he’s cheating, it’s probably causing him stress. This will show it in different unconscious ways.

Some people try to mask their guilt by being too nice to their partner.

Others go the other way.

They tend to fight or come to accuse you of having an affair, projecting the guilt onto you.

An article in Eepsys, a journal of Psychology and Humanities, explains:

«Infidelity reflects the weakening of emotional ties by the unfaithful person. Weakening that is generated by defense mechanisms of the infidel such as denial, or projection.

You may be wondering, “what is projection?”

According to the Royal Spanish Academy, this term of psychoanalysis means:

“Attribution to another person of the defects or intentions that someone does not want to recognize in himself.”

In other words, he sees in you what happens to him, even if it doesn’t.

And this attitude can be used unconsciously to create a distance between you.

Or even justify his deception.

If you notice that he gets jealous, because you are well dressed or perfumed at work.

Or he reproaches you for talking too much with your office colleagues. It may be that he is dumping on you the infidelity that he, in reality, is having.

15) Act on…