16 Fun Situations That Wouldn’t Happen Without Kids

Children’s naivety and spontaneity often lead to funny situations and stories. And, many times, they end up saying or doing something that makes the parents very uncomfortable.

O awesome.club, inspired by the sincerity of some users of social networks, he selected stories that demonstrate that the authors of the most brilliant phrases are children.

I picked my son up from day care and was walking him home, holding his hand, when he asked me, “Mom, who is the most beautiful person in your office?” I replied smiling: “Me, of course!” He looked at me for a long time and blurted out, “Are you the only person working there?” I wasn’t able to give an immediate answer, but at home my husband cried with laughter.

My friend has 2 preschool-aged children and is a mother who is super concerned about everything. Children eat healthy every day, go to doctors once a week, learn foreign languages ​​and attend different educational classes. The first time she left them with her husband for 4 days on a business trip, she was very worried. And that’s what happened in their absence: they could get up whenever they wanted, eat pizza for breakfast, watch cartoons anytime, eat pasta for dinner, had no bedtime, and most importantly, for the first time in their lives, they didn’t need to wash their feet! Of course the kids loved staying with their dad! When the mother returned, the eldest son said, “Mom, I love you, but I had so much fun with Daddy…”

I’m going to talk about my son’s entrepreneurial streak. He was 4 years old, we were traveling on a bus, when my little talent closely followed what the driver was doing. He captured one of his tasks: people gave him money and, in return, he gave them a ticket. My son said that he would buy the tickets and that the next day we would take the bus to sell them. I showed my ticket to my son: “See what small, neat letters. Could you draw it the same way?” Silence reigned for 5 minutes. I believed that he would give up such an idea. What the heck! At that time, he was working on his new plan. Then he said to me in all sincerity, “Mom, why don’t you print the tickets at your office and I’ll give you half of the money I earn?”

This happened a long time ago, in the early 90s, in difficult times. My friend André was 6 years old and his sister Marta, 4 years old. Their mother bought them a pear. The fruit was given to André under the premise of dividing it into two equal parts. A few minutes later, Marta’s crying and indignation thundered: “You cut most of it for yourself!” The situation was immediately clarified: André took a ruler, measured the pear and divided it exactly in half. But Marta wasn’t very happy with this split because she ended up with the top part of the pear. To teach her a lesson, her mother swapped the halves, giving Andrew the top.

I never forgot my huge surprise when I was asked, at the age of 4, what my mother’s name was. I was terrified. Does my mother have a name? During those 4 years I thought “Mommy” was her name.

At a Spring Festival at my youngest daughter’s school, the boys got a Darth Vader-shaped USB memory stick and the girls got a similar one, but with a pony or an owl with shiny rhinestones. Do you think the kids started to debate about equality or fight sexism and gender stereotypes from their superiors? None of that! They simply exchanged the USB with each other. Those who preferred Darth Vader got Darth Vader. And whoever preferred the pony got the pony. Sorted out.

I was about 4 years old. I went to my grandmother’s house, who lived in a condominium with a fenced yard and garden. As her first grandchild, I was adored and she always tried to cheer me up: “What would you like to eat today, my life?” I decided that I wanted to eat roasted chicken and my grandmother replied, “Well, stay here and play and I’ll fulfill your wish.” My grandmother went into the backyard, closing the door behind her. I was filled with curiosity: where had she gone and why? I walked around the other side of the house and approached the fence, to see between the woods. I saw my grandmother holding the chicken against a tree stump and professionally lifting her axe.

As she struck, the ax sank into the stump, the hen’s head rolled to the opposite side and the body, still moving, was held firmly in her hands. I went back the same way, the door opened and I threw myself towards my grandmother screaming: “What did you do?! Why did you cut off the chicken’s head?” My grandmother, surprised, replied: “But… if you asked me for a roast chicken yourself!” And that’s how I discovered that a chicken, before being roasted, must have been the victim of murder.

I walked into a supermarket and saw a woman with a small girl in line. The girl:

– Mom, Mom, let’s get another chocolate bar!

– No, dear, at home we still have 2 more.

– Mom, we only have 2 at home. But they could end at any time!

My 7-year-old daughter recently offered me money so I wouldn’t go to work that day. She gave me 70 cents!

When I was little, I spent a week finding money in my school bag. The thing is, I hadn’t put anything there. Basically, they were pennies. At the time, I was a little worried, but now I know that my 5-year-old sister would take coins out of her piggy bank and put them in my backpack. She just wanted me to buy something from the school cafeteria so I wouldn’t be hungry.

My son was asked to write an essay about what love is. The subject is complex and unusual, but I found it interesting to know what he would write. He came home angry and frustrated. He said he had gotten a bad grade because of the essay and gave me his notebook. When I opened it, I could see what I had written. There were only 2 lines with these words: “I don’t know, because after all I haven’t loved anyone yet. And my father says that’s nonsense!”

It was a beautiful summer day. On my way back from the supermarket, close to my house, I ran into a friend and stopped to talk to him. At that moment, close to where we were, a child came running. She looked to be about 6 years old, at most 7 years old. She pressed, insistently, the button of the electronic intercom of her house, waiting for an answer. After a few beeps, a female voice is heard:

– Yea

The child, forcefully and clearly, as if he wanted the whole world to be absorbed in the conversation, asked:

– Mother! Is “horny” a bad word?

On the other side, the mother almost choked:

– Fi… son… son! That’s a very ugly word! Don’t repeat it again, okay?

– It’s booooom!

– João (his mother insisted), did you understand me correctly? Never say that again!

– Yes mom. I understood! I am leaving bye!

Communication ended, and the child ran to the playground, where his classmates were. And from there it was possible to hear her voice in unison:

– Horns! Let’s play hide and seek!

A friend of mine’s classmate wrote an essay at school on the topic, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And his text was significantly different from many who wanted to be footballers and actors. The teacher read the essay aloud: “When I grow up, I want to become a sweeper, because in the morning they always find wallets with money, and in the day they are already free and can spend it.” Fortunately or unfortunately, his dream did not come true and today he works as a neurosurgeon.

I was about 4 years old when my father walked up to me and said, “Go and say something nice to your mother.” I approached her and said: “Mom, your eyes are so beautiful!” My mother started to get emotional, but I continued: “Like a hippopotamus!”

My first teacher in the first class asked us this question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It was the year 1986, so all the kids wanted to be policemen, pilots or firefighters, while the girls wanted to be teachers and doctors. And I wanted to be a milkmaid. Seriously, a milkmaid on a farm. Everyone laughed at me, of course, but the teachers didn’t discourage me, claiming that all professions were important. It so happened that, the day before, I had seen a picture of a milkmaid in the newspaper, with the information that she had received a medal for her extraordinary work. Basically I also wanted a medal and to be in the newspaper. If a postman had appeared in that newspaper with a medal, I would have wanted to be one too. At 7 years old I already wanted to be famous and win a medal.

I’m not a guy who is disgusted by things. Sometimes I drop some food on the floor and pick it up, blow and eat. When I had my children, I started to control myself, but I still remember one incident. We were in the kitchen, my daughter dropped a piece of pie on the floor, and when my wife went to pick it up, my daughter yelled, “Mom, don’t touch it, it’s Daddy’s!”

I was going to work on the bus and heard this dialogue between a little girl and her mother:
– Mom, how much time is left to arrive?
– Much.
– Two stops?
– No, I can’t even count how many stops are left.
– One kilogram?
– Well, yes, about a kilogram.

Of course, each of us keeps in his memory some fun situation from childhood. We’ll be happy to read your nostalgic stories in the comments!