15 questions you should ask yourself before ending a relationship

No one (or almost no one in their right mind at least) starts a relationship with the intention of ending it. However, over time, we sometimes realize that the other person is not quite what we thought.

Also, it is normal that as they mature and go through new experiences, people change their opinions and values, so that an old relationship may become inappropriate to their new worldview.

Even so, making the decision to break up can be very difficult, either because there are still feelings, because you don’t want the other person to suffer, or simply because you don’t want to be alone.

If you are in this situation and cannot come to a conclusion, we suggest that you read the questions below and try to answer them as honestly as possible, as they can help you better reflect on what you really want:

1. Does my partner criticize me, belittle me, or disrespect me often?
2. Does my partner call or text me all the time to monitor me or come to my house or work to see if I’m really there?
3. Am I feeling insecure, intimidated, or threatened in this relationship?
4. Does my partner despise my way of being, my job, my friends or my family?
5. Is he or she able to take responsibility for his or her mistakes or does he or she always blame someone else or event?
6. Did I clearly state my expectations or did I just assume that my partner should realize them on his own?
7. Is this relationship helping the two of them grow in any way?
8. Is my partner a financially responsible person?
9. Does my partner and I have similar values ​​and goals that are compatible with living together in the future?
10. Am I really mad about something he did and I just want to scare him or do I really want to break up?
11. What am I missing out on by being in a relationship?
12. Would a breakup be better for my life? And for the other person’s life?
13. Am I ready to really break up or do I already know I’m going to break up and come back in a while?
14. Am I in love with someone else and am I sure about that feeling?
15. Will I feel better about myself if I decide to end the relationship?

Why is it so hard to end?

For married people with children, a breakup becomes very difficult for obvious reasons such as the children’s well-being, shared financial commitments, and decisions like what to do with the house they live in.

However, a breakup is complicated even for those who are just in the dating phase and don’t have so many shared responsibilities. This is because feelings can be conflicting (you’re dissatisfied but you still like the person), because it’s easier to stay with a person you already know, and because we don’t want to lose all the “investment” we’ve made in this relationship.

The end of a relationship or marriage represents a loss of both the person you were with and the functioning of that relationship, and it is inevitable to go through a period of mourning until you assimilate the changes – even when you can’t wait to be free.

However, unlike a real death, when there is nothing else to do, a breakup can still leave doors open, which act as traps that make the decision to end the relationship even more difficult.

If you identify with this situation and cannot get out of it, it may be interesting to talk to a close friend, more experienced people or even seek professional help so that you can better see what you want for your life. Remember that relationships should contribute to our happiness, but they cannot replace it.