13 reflections on love

Love is that feeling that we all experience, but that few dare to define, to be corseted in a few words, due to its great significance and complexity.

It drives us, motivates us, feeds us with well-being, but, sometimes, it also entails suffering, sadness and discomfort; especially when it is not reciprocated or when it is misunderstood. Love is as powerful as it is mysterious, but it is inevitable to surrender to its effects.

In the name of love, wars have been started, crimes committed, countless risks taken and stories worthy of admiration built over time. The adventure of love does not escape mistakes, obstacles, downtime or confusion.

Love is the greatest experience that humanity can experience, but the most complex. It is an art portrayed by dedication and constant work, which is supported by goodness and authenticity and which in its broadest and deepest form connects us with the totality, with the divine experience.

Now, to reach that connection, To savor all that love can offer us, it is important to learn to cultivate it in a healthy way in our relationships. To do this, it is necessary to investigate our interior, our vision of the world and our connections with others. The following reflections on love can help us. Let’s dig deeper.

We have different ways of seeing reality

The first of the reflections on love may seem complex, but it carries a powerful message:

Each one of us constructs reality through the education received, interactions with others and the meanings obtained from our perceptions, life patterns and, ultimately, our history. We are immersed in subjectivity.

Kant, Piaget and Paul Watzlawick are supporters of this perspective. The one in which the same phenomenon takes on multiple meanings depending on the observer who is present, the one that reminds us that, in some way, we are not possessors of the absolute truth and that life has as many nuances as there are people who live in the world. This is the beautiful thing and the complicated thing. Beautiful because it enriches us and complicated because it often involves an exercise in responsibility, humility and acceptance.

Being aware that the other interprets the situation differently is important and, in some way, suggests an exercise in empathy. Keeping in mind that our partner may be offended by something that may go unnoticed by us keeps us alert. Because, Often, it’s not so much what happens but how we each experience it.

Therefore, It is not so much about convincing and demanding the other to assume our vision of life, but rather about trying to understand it, to find out how he perceives through his eyes. Because only when we understand that each person can have a different opinion and that their ideas are formed from their biography, from their life story, is when we will truly be able to establish healthy and sincere relationships. Otherwise, we will live in the midst of a tide of confrontations and conflicts.

People change and have their own path

This is one of the reflections on love that it is advisable not to forget. Nothing remains, everything changes and people will not be less. Experiences transform us, sometimes forced by circumstances and other times deliberately. through our decisions. The important thing is that with the passage of time we are not the same.

To understand this is to take into account that the other will not always behave as we expect, not even if we are accustomed to certain behaviors. And of course, neither do we. Change is inevitable and a right if we want it.

Another aspect that is linked to the above is that, sometimes, People decide to follow other paths different from ours, even though at first they became our life companions. This is when we have to gather the courage to accept and let go. Love sometimes has an expiration date and we cannot remedy it.

Now, you don’t just take unique paths when you set a full stop. Each person has their own life path. Being aware of this frees us from selfishness and demands in relationships.

Every relationship is an opportunity to learn

Relationships are immersed in wisdom, in learning about oneself, others and the world in general. They teach us the roots of pain, suffering and hopelessness, but also the roots of complicity, trust, love and the power of forgiveness.

Relating to another person reveals a part of us; above all, with those with whom we weave strong and warm bonds. Our vulnerabilities come to the fore and so do our needs along with those fears that often prevent us from moving forward.

If we are willing to extract the learning that our relationships offer us, we will realize that They are still lessons for their own benefit. Observing our weaknesses shows us which aspects we should place more emphasis on and which areas we need to work more on; while being aware of our strengths tells us what we can hold on to when everything goes wrong and what our potential and protection mechanism are.

And not only that, Relationships are a great book of lessons about others. A unique opportunity to connect with them and see beyond the disguise of appearance, to observe them naked and contemplate the beauty of their essence.

It is important to take care of yourself

This is another of the reflections on love that we cannot miss. Although love is a feeling directed towards others, it does not imply that we neglect ourselves. Quite the opposite.

Only when we love each other, when we welcome each other with affection and respect is when we can give true love to others. If we don’t do it, we offer wounds, defensive attitudes, mistrust and disguised fears, especially during the first moments. Now, this does not mean that we do not know how to manage them, but it does mean that we have to be attentive.

To love is to love yourself to love, to respect yourself to respect. It is knowing where our limits are and being aware that we are not obliged to endure bad treatment, neglect or a continuous situation of discomfort. We are free to choose where to be and with what people. We can’t forget it.

Actions and gestures are more important than words

Words have the power to create realities, but if they are not accompanied by actions, they are usually ephemeral, They disappear as quickly as they were created. We can express how much we love a person, telling them every day, but it is not enough. Actions are also important.

However, Great acts are not necessary to show true love. A knowing look, a “How are you?”, listening to what they have to tell us, holding hands or accompanying them in silence can be enough. Small details of everyday life that, although they make little noise, reach the depths of the other person and, sometimes, are capable of putting things back together inside.

But It is not only important to have a love manager with the other, but also to value those who offer us. There are many that go unnoticed, but that contribute to making us feel better. You just have to be aware, open to the magic of love.

Every person has a story

This is one of the most valuable love reflections. We are a puzzle of circumstances, experiences and experiences. An accumulation of everything we have experienced that shapes us, that builds us. Because everything that happens around us colors our experience and our feelings, whether intensely or superficially, on tiptoe…

Taking this into account in our relationships is essential. Knowing that the other is different and that they are fighting their own battles helps us understand them.

To a large extent, everything we experience affects us in some way and it depends on our history how we fit it into the present.

Managing emotions builds healthy relationships

Not being aware of our emotions leads to conflicts, frustrations, helplessness and discomfort. Ignoring how we feel has consequences both for us and for the relationships we maintain.

If we do not know what makes us sad or what the origin of our anger is, in some way, we are like strangers in our eyes. We do not know who we are and it is difficult for others to know us. In fact, we are very likely to shift responsibility for how we feel onto them.

The ideal is to become aware of our emotions, of how we function on an emotional level; not only to get to know ourselves and learn to manage them, but also to know what their effects are on our daily lives and where they can take us. In this way, we will create more constructive relationships.

Not everyone can love us

This is one of the reflections on love that is often difficult to accept. No one is obligated to love us, agree with our way of thinking, or approve of what we do. It is the law of life.

It is useless to expect another person to love us for who we are or accept everything about us. We cannot fit in or please everyone.

The best thing is to be free to make the decisions we want, to walk our path and that all this takes us with people who do want to be by our side. Now, not passively, but from an attitude of work and effort.

Relationships are unequal

It is impossible for equity to govern permanently in a relationship, but respect. Sometimes one member of the couple will make a decision, at other times it will be the other. It is like a dance in which, depending on the circumstances, roles are exchanged.

It is not possible to objectively count all the gestures of love by the members of a couple, of the number of times responsibilities are carried or decisions are made. It is an exchange, in which the other is allowed in to a certain extent and obtained, in turn, according to their limitations and life experience.

Every relationship needs work, care and effort

Love is like a garden that must be watered every day, that must be made an effort to take care of. If we want to be happy and enjoy being with the other person, we have to work on our relationship. Because Love is not a passive feeling, it is fueled by our actions.

In this way, there will be aspects to polish, others to eliminate and some more to try to implement to nourish the relationship. It is unavoidable. If we do not pay attention to the relationship, it will deteriorate over time. Because just like a plant, it needs to be watered and sanitized.

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