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12 ways to build children’s self-esteem

We are so obsessed with creating the bubble of adult well-being that we have forgotten the importance of sowing children’s self-esteem. It is very important that our little ones grow up in a world of balanced adults, as it will be the best thing we can transmit to them. However, if we stop to think about this, it won’t take us long to realize that we make our shortcomings visible.

So children, like animals, perceive our fears and insecurities and make them their own with great ease. Given this panorama, the truth is that we must strive to ensure that this happens to a lesser extent. But how can we do it?

First of all, taking into account that We are the best role model for children, so we must encourage our self-care. Secondly, with our way of acting and treating them, as well as the values ​​that we instill in them, that is, how we educate them.

“Childhood has its own ways of seeing, thinking and feeling; “There is nothing more foolish than trying to replace them with our own.”

-Jean-Jacques Rousseau-

We do not want children who have to be perfect because we do not want to cultivate pride; We want children who love and trust themselves and their potential. Below we give you 12 keys that will not fail to promote children’s self-esteem :

1It is very important to take them into account and dedicate our time exclusively to them.

We must consider what the child requests and demands of us. Furthermore, if we are walking with them we should not be looking at our mobile phone, because the child will give us looks and moments that we will miss. Therefore, To promote children’s self-esteem we have to take children into account, in addition to dedicating part of our time to them.

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2Correct your mistakes but with love

Without shouting and with patience, the child is a sponge that will absorb the good and the bad. Make him understand that you learn together and that the exchange is mutual.

3-Encourage their autonomy by giving them responsibilities

Let them make small decisions regarding their relationships or daily habits. For example, they can cook with you or prepare their lunch, help you dry and clean the dishes, set the table, choose the clothes they want to wear…

4-Do not compare them

Another key to promoting children’s self-esteem is that you do not compare them, neither with his brothers nor with his friends. Don’t compare a child to anyone, and don’t do it to an adult either. Nobody is better or worse than anyone else, we are all different.

5Don’t label him as “clumsy”, “bad”, “stupid”

This does not help at all to grow with healthy self-esteem. When your child does something wrong, there are many ways to tell him/her: It is not okay for you to hit your brothers, you don’t have to break the toys or we have to work well on the kills.

6-Don’t do it as “smart”, “good” or “intelligent” either.

The child will not understand why you refer to him that way. In his case, you can tell him: how well you have done your homework, how well you have collected, or I love watching you paint. That is to say, judge their behavior but not the child.

7-Establish clear limits and be consistent with them

That is to say, If you don’t pick up your toys we won’t go to the park; The child will want to negotiate this but half measures are not worth it, if you have set a reasonable condition you have to enforce it, otherwise he will not take it seriously. Firmness.

8-Value the effort, not the results

Don’t focus on whether they got an A or a pass, the important thing is that the child has been consistent and made an effort, reinforce this. To promote children’s self-esteem, it is very important to value their efforts.

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9-Do not exaggerate your praise and be specific

This is, Tell him what he has done well and why you liked it so that the child knows what you like. You have collected your toy cars and stuffed animals very well. is substantially different from You are very organized.

It is important that you tell your child about his achievements and efforts with other people, as it will make him feel useful and important.

10-Validate your emotions

If the child cries it is likely that he has hurt himself, give it the importance it has. Avoid telling him: No problem! Yes, it happens, something makes you feel bad and it is important that we give it the relevant relevance.

11-Do not overprotect him, you will encourage insecurity and dependency

Do not stand guard and watch them all the time, as you will generate bubble children. Children do not break down and need a dynamic that creates opportunities for them to develop constantly, not to stagnate.

12-Reserve moments for each of the children you have around

Try to find an individual space for each one, because the fact of being important and protagonists for a few minutes or a few hours is very reinforcing for them. By doing so you show them that it is key for you to dedicate yourself to each other from time to time, caring about how they feel and seeking to generate new exchanges.

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