11 attitudes you should avoid when a relationship ends

When a relationship ends, a stage of our life also closes.. Accepting this new reality as soon as possible will make it easier for us to face grief with greater dignity. In this way, we will be able to remake our present to face a new future with greater resilience. Now, achieving this is not easy, especially if we are the ones who are abandoned. Hence, it is essential to avoid a series of attitudes and behaviors.

It is often said that a relationship brings joy, delight, but also suffering. We will all agree with it. However, there is one more nuance that we sometimes neglect.. What we will remember most in the long term if that bond is broken is the way it all ended. If there are screams, reproaches, resentments and even frustrated attempts by one of the parties when it comes to resuming the relationship, all of this remains recorded in our minds as a distressing echo. A veil that takes a long time to clear.

There are good and bad ways to end a relationship. We are aware that there are many emotions at play. Many doubts and questions that may possibly remain unresolved forever. We must do it well, whether we are the one left or the abandoned. Let’s avoid being trapped in that amber resin where many remain established for years suffering from that end, from that breakup…

11 attitudes to avoid when a relationship ends

Next, we show you a list of what NOT to do after a breakup.

1. Find culprits

Sometimes we do it. We fall into those suffocating circles of thinking where we tell ourselves that we have done wrong. That we should have acted in such a way. We repeat to ourselves that perhaps we were not made for that person, that we are failures in the matter of love.

What use are these types of internal dialogues? Obviously for one thing: to hurt us more. We do not have to look for blame, and even less project that guilt onto ourselves to boycott our self-esteem. Sometimes, one of the two evolves in a different direction than the one that brought you together in the beginning, love ends and we cannot do anything other than accept it.

2. Try to resume contact

The relationship is over for both of them. An end has become evident. Therefore, the most advisable thing in these cases is to give way to a duel to release emotions, vent and proceed to acceptance. Now, if, far from assuming that reality, we continue to be obsessed with the idea of ​​trying again and making contact, we will create a state that is as debilitating as it is frustrating.

With this we make the situation even worse, we lose dignity and self-esteem. and we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to start over.

3. Think about what your life was like before

When a relationship ends it is common to get stuck in that recent past. We miss not only that person, but we also experience the emptiness of the routines of yesteryear, of those small details that orchestrated our lives. However, We must reorder priorities, and the only real priority is ourselves.
It’s time to move forward, to turn the page, to create new experiences and memories. Don’t read past conversations, don’t check social media or email.

4. “Delete” all memories

Let’s go little by little. It is not always necessary to eliminate everything that has to do with the other person: photos, gifts, objects, clothes… Just leave it there. Time will tell you when is the right moment, that moment to let go of the physical memories of yesterday.

Let’s avoid doing anything when we are angry, hurt or full of rage. The ideal is to wait and distance yourself, because there is always something worth saving.

5. Reinforce our grief with sad books, movies or songs

Our brain will try. He will ask us to reinforce his grief with stimuli that are at the same emotional level. That’s why we are attracted to sad or romantic movies, songs that talk about impossible loves, etc.

However, Let’s try to impose new routines on ourselves. Let’s make changes, incorporate new experiences, new goals, hobbies, etc.

6. Wait for it to appear

When a relationship ends, our mind is not convinced. The longing and hope are still there. Like pins bent on hurting us. So let’s avoid feeding suffering by waiting for it to appear. Maybe walking down the street where you always met, going to the same restaurants, the same gym…

Let’s avoid fantasizing about these possible encounters and apply a growth mindset. This stage has ended and I must start a new one.

7. Thinking that you are not worth it for love

We often get frustrated. We tell ourselves that after that failed relationship there is no turning back. The best thing, perhaps, is to close the doors of our hearts and lock them. Let’s also avoid this type of attitude when a relationship ends. What good is it for us? Obviously to further damage our self-esteem.

We are people worthy of being loved, by ourselves and by whoever truly deserves us.

8. Spy on the ex-partner on social networks

That’s an important issue when a relationship ends. If you have an active life on social networks, try to update your profile. Even more, as much as possible, avoid maintaining contact with your ex-partner. The best thing in these cases is to stop following that person to avoid seeing their updates, to stop obsessing, wondering, hurting ourselves….

Turn the page in your life and also on social networks.

9. Drastic and unnecessary changes

When we end a stage it is common to want to make a change physically: cutting your hair, dyeing it a different color, changing your clothing style… All of this is positive if we truly need it. However, there is no obligation. There is no reason to shape an image that has nothing to do with us.

Let us only seek to feel good. If you can get that haircut, go for it. If what it causes is to create an appearance that does not identify us, it is better to avoid it.

10. Prolong the pain when a relationship ends

It’s true that it’s going to hurt. It is normal to feel it, because all these emotional experiences are part of the grief itself. And as such you have to live it without anesthesia, without hot cloths. Therefore, yesYo you feel distressed and sad, cry.

It is important release everything that this breakup left to renew ourselves without negative burdens. Now, when a relationship ends, it is advisable not to extend those moments of pain beyond what is necessary. Better a lot of intensity and a few days.

11. Be aware of the other person

No more. Don’t wait for me to call you. If you look at your cell phone, let it be to see the time, but not to see if he wrote to you or if he is online. Don’t start going to the gym or dieting just to look more attractive and get their attention. Don’t spend more than 10 minutes of your time thinking about that person. It is wasting time, dignity and your happiness. Remember that from now on, you are your priority.
In short, when a relationship ends, when it doesn’t work, it is best to leave the path clear. This way you will have the opportunity to live your life differently and meet new people.