10 Tricks to make up with your partner after a fight

Fights are, at some point, inevitable. The other person may be the love of our lives, but every now and then we get angry with them, even over small things. We may feel sad, angry, and even bitter about the situation, but that doesn’t stop us from loving our partner. Therefore, in order to be reconciled, it is necessary to feel sincere repentance and speak up, to show him how the love we feel is stronger than any confrontation.

O awesome.club wants to help you reconcile with the person you love so much by offering you some tips.

Every fight is a new step in relationships. Writer and love expert Diane Cloutier said we shouldn’t hide problems, but talk about them. By discussing differences, they can be overcome. Otherwise, any conflict hidden under the rug will sooner or later reappear with more intensity. We must remember why we were angry at first, and what makes the argument so important to us.

Both should be able to express their feelings. Each one has his reasons for having fought, and it is not because one feels he has more reason that the other should be discarded. Taking turns when talking is key, says Dr. Bonnie Kennan, a couples therapy specialist. There are times when we should shut up and just listen to the other, soon our turn will come.

We cannot always have the last word, nor believe that we own the truth. We need to realize what discussions we decide to have. Any disagreement shouldn’t become a strong argument, so we always have to ask ourselves: is it worth having a bad time over it? Clinical psychology professor Hal Shorey recommends keeping your head down when the argument doesn’t grow the couple.

Exhale and inhale, you must not rush. Couples therapist Amy Kipp insists we don’t need to get carried away by our emotions and know when it’s too much. Being patient with the other is key when it comes to seeking reconciliation, after all he or she is the person we love the most. Accept the other person’s position and show them how much you love them to share their perspective on the matter, says Kipp.

Although our love for the other person is immense, we cannot forget that they are someone different. The two had different parents, families and education, and from the beginning we came from different backgrounds. We must remember that it is impossible to agree with our partner in every decision: if the other is different from me, I must first try to understand why this is so.

It is not easy to ask for forgiveness, as it takes time to accept that we have done something wrong. Admitting this value is an act of courage and shows that we don’t care about being right, what we want most is the well-being of the person we love so much. This attitude requires that we stop being selfish and let go of our pride.

Now it’s up to us to accept the forgiveness our partner asks of us. This doesn’t mean that we should forget what hurt us, but that we can see beyond the fight and let go of the negativity caused. Holding on to anger can only slow progress, says New York psychologist Diane Barth.

Fights can often get very deep, so it’s best to let the time pass to smooth things over. Noam Ostrander, a professor of social work at DePaul University, recommends giving each other space so they can calm down and think about what happened. It is important to respect the fragility of the situation and give our mind a rest.

Communicating and making progress are key steps in continuing a relationship, says Eli Finkel, a professor of psychology at Northwestern University. He advises that we tell each other what is bothering us and what is best to avoid so that, in the future, there will be arguments but not fights. Both can set rules and know how to solve the problem next time, without provoking anger or insults.

It’s not about who wins the fight, it’s about fixing the problem. The argument we are trying to resolve is to progress as a team, not as opponents. Psychotherapist Vikki Stark claims that conflicts are not resolved by seriously hurting the other, as this only makes things worse. We have to breathe and realize who we are talking to. Not an enemy, but our ally.

How do you get over fights with your partner? Do you have any other tips for reconciling with your better half? Please share them with us in the comments section.