10 Things You Can’t Do for Your Kids

On some occasions, the desire of fathers and mothers to make their children’s lives easier exceeds all limits. We adults cannot live life for children. Our task is to help them grow and gain experience. It is essential not to go too far.

O awesome.club prepared a list of things you should not do for your children. Take that into account, and the kids will be forever grateful.

When our baby is asked, “What’s your name?” and we gladly answer for him, well, that’s where it all begins. It would be great if this ended as soon as the boy learned to talk. But not. Sometimes we answer for our teenagers too: at a party, in a store, and even at home.

And what is the result? With our own hands, we take away from children the opportunity to learn to answer for themselves. You can suggest what to say if the child asks. But it is not necessary for you to take the initiative.

What is there to do? The next time you’re tempted to say something for your child, try to stop yourself and give him the floor.

Many of us want to be our children’s best friends, with whom they will have no secrets. And this desire of parents is completely understandable. But let’s go deeper: what is a friend? He is a person who is with us on equal terms, on the same level. Yes, you can tell that friend everything, but it’s foolish to expect him to take care of your problems

Parents have a different role. They are the elders who care and love. Attempts to be best friends are unnecessary; let your children look for peers among people of the same age. And may they look to their parents for unconditional love and support whenever needed.

What to do? Leave the relationship with airs of friendship and create a relationship based on mutual respect and support.

We know that broccoli is healthier than candy, and that new shoes are more necessary than dolls. That’s why we are always dictating to our children, explicitly or implicitly, how and what they should want. As that joke goes, “Mom, am I hungry?” “No, son, you’re cold.”

What do these attempts lead to? To suppress your own “I”, your desires and goals. And also the habit of feeling like an unwilling victim. And if the child has a strong temper, a natural rebellion against you and the whole world will arise.

What to do? Check the child’s needs and wants. Teach useful habits, doing it without violence, not through “have to”, but through “okay”.

A child of 2 or 3 years old can already take off and put on some clothes, wash the cup he used and put the dirty pants in the washing machine. In addition, at this age, children have a great desire to do everything themselves.

And what do we do? We spend years dressing our children, arguing that we’re in a hurry or that “he doesn’t know how to do it.” We spoon-feed them, forbidding them to eat alone and discover different tastes. We prohibit self-initiative. And then we are surprised when the teenager does not want to help his mother and becomes a troublemaker.

What to do? Whenever possible, allow the child to do things for himself.

Unconsciously, we often try to impose our musical, literary, clothing, etc. preferences on our children. This may have the best of intentions, but it ends up erasing the child’s individuality. And in several cases, it gives rise to a fair complaint or the desire to do the opposite.

What to do? Listening to our songs and watching our favorite movies, but also talking to the kids about their idols.

Sooner or later, the moment comes when the child begins to have money in his pocket. But if there’s one thing you shouldn’t do, it’s controlling and organizing an interrogation about how much money the child still has, let alone checking his pockets and backpacks. Otherwise, trust dies instantly.

In general, do we care how much money our son has left? Let him save up to buy something important or spend it on trifles.

What to do? Teach the basics of financial education and let the child have their own money. Responsible use starts with giving her the (monitored) freedom to choose.

The mother wants her daughter to play the violin, and is willing to take her to class three times a week. And the father insists that his son trains in football. And most often, parents unconsciously seek to impose a fashionable hobby or their own unrealized ambitions on the little ones.

What to do? Be patient and observe the child, taking note of his own interests and inclinations. Ask him what he likes, what he prefers. And then help him develop in the area of ​​\u200b\u200bhis interests.

“Instamoms” fill social networks with hundreds of photos with the captions “We ate”, “We started to crawl”, “We learned to use the potty”.

Of course, in many cases, there is help from the parents, but still, these are not the mother’s accomplishments, but the child’s! What does “we” mean?

As the child grows, the situation becomes even more serious. It’s when parents decide to brag that “we” graduated or got a job. It’s easy to assume that this is very annoying for children.

What to do? Celebrate the child’s accomplishments and be supportive, but don’t confuse them with your own achievements.

From the moment the child already knows how to speak, he has the right to choose what he will receive as a gift. Even if it’s not clothing or an educational toy.

Of course, this approach does not always please parents. However, it gives children the main thing: the ability to choose, make decisions and be responsible for the consequences. In adult life, these skills will be very useful.

What to do? Allow the child, as far as possible, to choose their gifts and purchases.

This is especially true for parents of teenagers. Children have their friends, companies, first love… All of this is normal and natural. Questions like “Who is this guy?” they only cause irritation and strangeness.

On the other hand, many children share their most intimate things with their parents when they feel safe.

What to do? Instead of questioning it, let your child have their own personal space. Don’t lose sight of what he’s doing, but don’t be intrusive. Don’t ask if he’s not ready to go into more detail.

How do you educate your little ones? Leave your comment!