10 simple steps to help you overcome insecurity

Do you know when that fear hits or that feeling of helplessness that doesn’t let you move on? This is insecurity, a feeling known to almost everyone precisely because it doesn’t have to appear as a constant and general problem. In fact, insecurity is present in different aspects of life, depending on each person and their previous experiences.

“When we talk about insecurity, we talk about something very broad. This is important to consider because I am not necessarily an insecure person in all areas. I may be a sexually insecure person, but on the other hand, I am professionally secure. I can speak well in public, but I can’t handle my nude. Or else, I’m safe to be among friends but, on the other hand, I can’t talk to my parents. So, insecurity happens according to personality, essence and experience, what the person has collected and what he has absorbed”, explains clinical psychologist Pâmela Magalhães.

It is with the exercise of a personal-historical review that it is possible to perceive where the insecurity of each one is most highlighted and then begin to make moves to get rid of it once and for all. Insecurity, if not tackled, can generate real discomfort, disrupt social, professional, and love life, among other aspects.

The good news is that insecurity can be fought and everyone has that power. Take advantage of these precious and simple tips that will help you deal with that feeling:

1. Work on self-knowledge

An important first step is self-knowledge. The more you get to know yourself, the easier it will be to identify where your insecurity is and, from there, to realize what small, punctual changes can be made to start overcoming this condition.

2. Look for examples in whom you admire

Find people and attitudes that can be references for you. For example, are you afraid of public speaking? How about observing great speakers and seeing how they present themselves in front of an audience? By imitating some security ideals, you will gradually be able to internalize that way of putting yourself, becoming more secure and with more repertoire. Gradually, you will find that imitating becomes your own, more consistent and secure way of acting.

3. One step at a time

Psychologist Pâmela Magalhães suggests that starting with small steps can make the process much easier: “a nice tip is not to think, right away, in big steps, in noisy things, because laziness can speak too loudly. So start making small movements and then adjust and encourage yourself to move forward. In this way, we become more apt and stimulated for something even greater. This constructive cycle develops until great things can really be accomplished”.

4. Listen to yourself more

An important aspect of overcoming insecurity is focusing more on yourself than others. Listening to external expectations is always important, but even more essential is that you listen to your internal voices. Focusing on what the other expects can make you forget what’s really important to you. Try to prioritize your choices and intentions, because trying to correspond to what people expect can be an eternal and endless path.

5. Take care of yourself

Security and self-esteem go hand in hand and one can influence the other. “Insecurity is closely related to self-esteem. Try to caress yourself, esteem yourself more because, when this happens, our self-esteem is more nourished. Doing good things for yourself, taking care of your body, taking care of your mental health, taking care of your repertoire so that it becomes stronger and stronger, going in search of something you are interested in, doing beneficial movements for yourself… we feel safer with our self-esteem, leaving less and less room for insecurity”, comments Pâmela Magalhães.

6. Forget past insecurities

Are you not carrying limiting beliefs from the “old arch” times? If yesterday you couldn’t accomplish something, it may be that today you can. Sometimes a person believes they are insecure in a certain way, but that feeling is based on a long-ago experience that may no longer be real. For example, there are people who for years have considered that they have no ability to lose weight. Others who, because of an experience in their youth, find public speaking too difficult. Avoid repeating old insecurities to yourself when, in fact, reality is no longer the same. This repetition can favor the permanence of insecurity in your life.

7. Don’t surrender

Often insecurity is linked to giving up, a “letting go” of oneself. In this case, the person stays in the same place waiting for something miraculous to happen. Start making movements for yourself, looking for what needs to be done and what movements are possible at the moment: “We are not born safe, we are not born full of parameters. We were not born, walking or with the vocabulary we have today. We are not born psychologists or journalists, but rather, we acquire these security. In other words, the same process is possible with security. It can be acquired and this movement depends on the impulse of each one”, adds psychologist Pâmela Magalhães.

8. Think positive

Try to make an effort to keep thinking positive. This way it will be easier to overcome your fears and face insecurity. If other people can do it, so can you. Avoid destructive or categorical thoughts, such as thinking that you don’t have the ability or that you will never be able to reach that goal. Gradually, it is possible!

9. Avoid comparisons

Comparisons with other people who managed to achieve certain things we aspire to are a dead end. As said before, each person has their experiences and their times. When visualizing people who are references in what you want to achieve, instead of overestimating age, salary or the results obtained by others, think about how you can get there and avoid making comparisons as much as possible: they can completely drain your energy for change .

10. In crises, start with something you are completely secure in

Did everything go wrong, is your self-esteem boycotting you, did you get into a screw of insecurity thinking you won’t be able to achieve such a goal? A good tip to get out of these crises is to do something small, but that you know how to do very well. Are you good in the kitchen? How about dropping everything for a few moments and preparing that dish that you know will come out perfect? In this way, feelings of impotence or inadequacy gradually diminish and the monster of insecurity is weakened.

Insecurity can accompany us throughout our lives, at different levels, in different aspects of life. The most important thing is to know that it can be overcome, through small steps and small changes in behavior. Don’t let yourself be defeated by this ghost, grab these tips and move forward more and more prepared!

The information contained on this page is for informational purposes only. They do not replace the advice and follow-up of doctors, nutritionists, psychologists, physical education professionals and other specialists.