10 Recommendations that can help improve communication with our children

Communication is essential in any aspect of a person’s life, whether at work, with friends or with family. And when we talk about communicating with children, there are some more specific ways to develop dialogue, since little ones are in the development, growth and learning phase. Bad or negative communication can not only create distance with our children, but also lead to unwanted habits and customs being learned by the younger ones.

O awesome.club wants to bring you a series of tips to maintain positive, quality and close communication with children.

Knowing how to listen is fundamental and indispensable to maintain good communication. When we talk to our children, it’s important to listen carefully. That is, listening and focusing on what they tell us, so that they feel heard and are aware that we are interested and aware of everything they have to say.

Some techniques for making it obvious that we are listening are:

Stop what you’re doing in those moments and pay full attention. Look into your child’s eyes as he talks to you. Nod your head that you are understanding and listening to everything he is saying. Do not interrupt. Let him express himself freely, say whatever he has to say and do as he sees fit. Try to sit or stand at the same height as your child.

When trying to maintain fluid, two-way communication with your child, try to use age-appropriate language and words. That is, if you use very far-fetched or advanced words to talk to a three-year-old (for example), she will get frustrated and stop listening to you. On the other hand, if you use appropriate language, the child can actively participate in the conversation and understand you without any problems.

Even if you feel upset about your child’s reaction or attitude, try to remain calm. If the child notices or is aware that you are upset, he will start to get nervous, stop listening and may even leave you talking to himself. On the other hand, if you demonstrate a firm, but calm and relaxed posture, you will be more participatory and you will also continue to maintain control of the situation.

If we want communication to be effective and fluid, it’s important to choose the right time for the conversation we want to have. The ideal moment is when the child and ourselves are calm, as trying to have good communication when one or both parties are upset or angry is really difficult and fruitless.

If we want to understand our children, it’s important to do our part and use the right tools to do so. Communication based on a strong tone of voice, aggressive words and shouting is negative. But if we use a normal tone of voice, appropriate words and reasoning, we will have positive communication with our children. We know that sometimes it takes all the patience in the world not to cry with despair, but we can use other methods.

Avoid constantly giving orders by using verbs in the imperative. It is more effective and positive to use suggestions or questions. For example, instead of “Put your toys away,” you could say, “It would be nice if you put your toys away, don’t you think?”

If we are to be careful and measure our verbal communication, it is important to do the same with non-verbal communication. To establish a dialogue, these two types of communication must be congruent with each other. There is no point in adopting a calm and calm tone of voice if, at the same time, we demonstrate an angry expression or cross our arms defensively. If we are not able to adopt the same posture in both types of expression, we will send a confused message and the child will probably feel frustrated and stop paying attention.

Try not to emphasize the mistakes, but talk about what you would like the child to do. Thus, you encourage her to learn from mistakes. The idea is to reinforce the positive and not the negative, so that the child sees and realizes that we also consider the positive aspects of their actions, not just the negative ones. For example, instead of saying: “you broke the toy because you weren’t careful!”, we would say “you could be more careful with your toys”.

A key point in achieving good communication is not to label our children or compare them to other children. In both cases, both comparisons and labels can not only create a bad relationship between parents and children, but give children a bad image of themselves, which they can adopt as their own. In addition, it can generate self-esteem issues.

It’s important to accept and recognize that our children, like us, have feelings and we need to “embrace” those feelings, whether they are good or bad. When we stop children from expressing their feelings or downplay what they feel, they may become more withdrawn and fail to report their experiences. It is important to seek empathy, that is, to put yourself in the child’s shoes.

How is the communication you maintain with your children? Share with us the tips or advice you use in your relationship with them.