10 Life Lessons We Learned Only After Making the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Humanity’s problems are as old as the world. Situations repeat themselves from time to time, and some people keep making the same mistakes. Instead of accepting certain postulates of life, they prefer to “punch a knife”, turning in a vicious circle of personal failures.

we, from awesome.club, we believe that empiricism is not always valid and that we can learn a lot from the mistakes of others. That’s why we’ve selected 10 compelling principles that help us to look at certain truths with sincerity, albeit with bitterness. As a bonus, we’re going to share some ironic discoveries you might only notice with age. Check out!

Mean words, sarcastic comments and bad jokes can hurt as much as physical aggression. Sometimes people who are sensitive to the opinions of others spend years remembering insults they received and mulling over what could be wrong with themselves.

In truth, the critic is talking about himself and his complexes. A reprover’s hostile statements are nothing more than a projection of his problems onto another. For example, a girl who calls her friend fat is, in fact, terrified of getting fat. In order to quell this panic, she needs a victim, compared to whom she “is not even that fat”.

Some sacrifice their interests and career for the person they love. Others work three jobs so the children are comfortable. There are still those who limit themselves to almost everything just so that everyone around them is well. Whatever help has been, it will run out. Altruists often feel exhausted and instead of gratitude they hear the following: “And who asked you to do this?” Of course, no one wants to be responsible for someone else’s sacrifices.

Before I ran a small business. In my presentations on security techniques, I always started with the phrase: “Don’t play the hero.” There is no money or product in the world that costs more than your life. If a fire broke out, for example, and you couldn’t find ways to put it out, what would you do? I would say run away!
Is someone threatening you and demanding money? In. The thieves will be found later as there are cameras everywhere. In the end, it’s not your money. If in any company they say that, in such cases, the embezzled money must come out of your pocket, get out of there. © Pernatyi / Pikabu

Often, family relationships, which, in principle, should be of love and support, are permeated by differences of opinion, fights and intimidation. It doesn’t pay to keep in touch with toxic people, even if they are your relatives. If all you get in response to a rapprochement attempt is devaluation, manipulation, and humiliation, then the only way out is to limit that communication—or stop it altogether.

My husband’s sister tried to offend me at every opportunity: “Do you work from home? You’d rather leave all the work to my brother, don’t you?”, or “Look, I can’t even tell what color your dress is” and even “Do the people at your house eat this food?!” One day, my patience ran out and I released everything that was stuck: “Your life must be so bad that you try to bring me down at all costs just to feel better. Don’t you even have a source of happiness?” She didn’t respond, and the conversation ended there. I was quite pleased, because no matter how closely related we are, my inner peace is worth more.

In many cultures, there is still the mentality of thinking that a woman needs to develop her “feminine energy”. In certain countries, the most outdated stereotypes about the female role in relation to the male are propagated, such as “A woman should inspire her husband to success” or “she should be subservient and take care of the house” – as if people still lived in 18th century gardens.

This relationship model has many flaws. When trying to be the “house fairy”, a woman can abdicate her own interests and fall into dependence. On the other hand, the “provider” may not bear the burden of responsibility conferred on it. More stable relationships are those in which both partners are independent individuals with their own ambitions and desires. The secret to a happy relationship lies in mutual respect and acceptance.

Those who grew up with movies and books that spelled out perfect romantic love can create a mistaken association between intense, true love and “heartaches”: the more relationships feel like a roller coaster, the more a partner controls or controls them. is jealous of the other, the greater the feeling. But wait, it’s not like that.

“With him it’s bad, but without him it’s worse”, “If you’re jealous it’s because you love” and other similar statements don’t represent love. This paradigm is actually related to toxic relationships where love is replaced by fear and dependence.

A woman laments to her friends that the boyfriend she lives with doesn’t hide that he doesn’t intend to marry. Although she doesn’t like the situation, she continues to please and satisfy him, hoping that one day he will change his mind. The friends wonder why she doesn’t leave the boy, why she prefers to continue suffering. But the answer is simple: there are certain pseudo-advantages to being in the victim position.

In psychology, there is the concept of secondary gain. This is the case when a person, being in a bad situation, tries to extract maximum benefits. For example, everyone pity the victimwho, when telling friends and family about their unhappiness, receives attention and compassion. There is little demand on her, who can afford to be weak and irresponsible. By helping your partner feel better, the victim feels not only noble and merciful, but also needed by someone. By giving their all, a person believes himself to be worthy of love and respect.

Therefore, it is not always a good idea to try to “save” this person, who does not get tired of complaining about life. Perhaps, unconsciously, she is really satisfied and cannot imagine herself living any other way.

Indeed, not everything can be bought with money, such as sincere love and friendship, talent and experience. However, the rest can. Although many think otherwise, with money you are much more likely to be happy, healthy and fulfilled.

People who say “happiness is not in money” are hypocrites. Being happy is expensive. Eat healthy foods? Expensive. Want to know if you’re healthy? Expensive. Want to have a beautiful body? Very expensive. And if you want to see the world, then get ready to open your wallet. © Rhymeslive / Twitter

Those who say “Happiness is not in money” are only those who have at least the basic necessities. In other cases, it’s very difficult to be happy when you don’t have the money to pay your rent or when you eat porridge every day—not because you’re on a diet, but because you have no other option. © catherine_lo / Twitter

How many big plans have been postponed under the guise of “I’ll start on Monday”, “after New Year’s” or “when my schedule is freer”? Most of them were probably not even started.

You can spend your whole life waiting for the right moment. There will always be some urgency or unfavorable circumstances that will convince you to postpone the beginning of your “new life” at least a little. Unconsciously, the brain seeks to escape the discomfort associated with a new and unfamiliar lifestyle and, therefore, tries to find justifications to avoid it. If you really want to change your life, start right now—without waiting for the start of next week, month, or year.

Good grades in school, or even college, are no guarantee of a successful career. As experience shows, students who get average grades often become more successful than those who get high grades. While the “grade 10” group spent sleepless nights decomposing information from the books and trying to gain the teachers’ appreciation, the “grade 6” group focused more on social contact and studied only the subjects of greatest interest.

For exemplary students, who are used to receiving praise, it can be a great stress to face the harsh reality that success requires not only knowledge of a subject, but also social competence and psychological flexibility.

Many say, “I won’t be happy until I find my other half” or “If I had married that person instead of this one, I would be happier.” By this logic, the responsibility for one’s own happiness falls on the shoulders of the other. Practice shows, however, that neither an ideal partner nor promising circumstances—whether a job promotion or a sudden inheritance—can make one happy.

in your book The Ballerina from Auschwitz, psychologist Edith Eger, an Auschwitz survivor, says that being happy is a decision that each of us is capable of making. We cannot change the past or predict the future. The only thing in our power is to decide how to deal with what has passed and what to do next. It is the answers to these questions that determine whether a person will live subject to past regrets and fears for the future, or choose to free himself from them, making a choice in favor of his own happiness.

If you could go back in time to give yourself one valuable piece of advice from your “future self”, what would it be? Comment!