10 affirmations to neutralize a narcissist

Among the different personality disorders, the narcissist is one of the most challenging, due to the lack of empathy and the feelings of superiority that characterize it. The attitudes and behaviors of these subjects do not favor the bond they establish with others.

This way of being and relating is expressed in different areas and can generate significant discomfort in the lives of those around this person. In this article, we will focus on the perspective of those who have to deal with it, and present several ways to neutralize a narcissist.

Narcissism: definition and characteristics

As defined by the DSM-5, it is a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Furthermore, it occurs in different contexts of life, and manifests itself with the following characteristics:

Lack of empathy. Arrogance and superiority. Perception of being special and unique. Arrogance and feelings of greatness. Excessive need for recognition. Using others for one’s own purposes. Frequent fantasies related to power and success. Expectations of being treated as favorable or special way. Feelings of envy or perception that people are envious.

Not all subjects with narcissism present these new expressions. Some show only five, others six or seven; This depends on the degree of exacerbation of the disorder. Even if there are few or many symptoms, they all tend to appear in the various areas in which the individual works: work, family, social, academic.

Affirmations for dealing with a narcissist

Defending yourself against someone with narcissism is a challenge for many, as it involves dealing with their defensive reaction and attacks. Because caring for emotional well-being is important for health, below are a series of helpful affirmations for managing interactions with people who have this personality disorder.

1. “No”

This type of individual wants to always be told “yes”, for others to support his or her views as if they were their own.. That others accept what you say is a test of control. It means that your influence or power over others is intact.

Knowing how to say “no” is one of the ways for a narcissist to leave you alone. Not agreeing with him or distancing yourself from his proposals alters the perception he has of you. In his vision, you become part of the team of those who do not recognize the “truth” (that is, his).

How to say it?

Be firm with your “no”.Avoid giving justifications.Do not give in to insistence.Be prepared for a possible negative response.Do not agree to their request for fear of their reaction.Seek support from friends, if you consider it appropriate.Keep calm and Confidence in your decision. Use the sandwich technique if you deem it appropriate.

2. “I don’t believe you, prove what you say”

Those who have narcissism usually tell a lot of lies. Sometimes they enlarge or diminish the facts. At other times, they invent situations that are not true to praise themselves, to denigrate others, or to create fantasies around them.

If you are with someone like this and you detect that they are lying, do not hesitate to question their statements.. Demand proof or evidence of what he says. Present the arguments that make you doubt the veracity of his words.

You are likely to react by distancing yourself. However, he will understand that you are not willing to take each and every one of his statements as true.

How to say it?

Listen carefully and without interrupting what he says. Record meticulously any inconsistencies you notice. Wait for him to finish speaking before presenting your arguments. Remain calm and try to keep your body language neutral. Maintain eye contact to convey confidence and seriousness in your posture.Use the statement respectfully: “I understand what you are saying, but I don’t believe you. Could you prove your point, please? Try to be specific about the questionable part that needs evidence. Be ready to move on to another topic, or leave, if the situation becomes hostile.

3. “You are no more than anyone”

Implicitly or explicitly, The individual with narcissism tries to prove that he is above others. Therefore, it is common for him to say that he is better than everyone.

It is good to remind you that, Although you can do, say or give your opinion about something with greater skill than others, this does not make you superior to anyone.. With this statement you will hit a narcissist’s ego.

Make it clear that anyone, with enough training and the right circumstances, can also excel. Also that one can be superior in one aspect, but inferior in others.

How to say it?

Be receptive, open, and calm. Recognize his or her true abilities and achievements. Wait for the right moment and avoid out-of-contextual confrontations. Use examples to show him how people excel in different areas. Introduce the statement: “Although you have had important achievements, you are no more than anyone.” It reaffirms the idea that all human beings have strengths, and that someone’s value is not measured only by their triumphs.

4. “I’m not afraid”

The best way to annul a narcissist is to not be afraid of them.. He bases his power on the insecurities and fears of others. He is very attentive to the weak points of his neighbor to attack where it hurts. He has no problem bringing up weaknesses or highlighting aspects that are painful.

Not accepting his attacks and taking his words with inventory buff is a way to show that you are not afraid of him.. Nor is allowing their attacks to take their toll an excellent way to neutralize a narcissist. He doesn’t know how to act with someone who doesn’t fear him.

How to say it?

Stay calm. Check that you are in a safe place. Practice beforehand what you will say and in what order. Establish eye contact to communicate security. Speak calmly, without aggression or provocation. Wait for the right moment, and say the following: “I want Please know that I am not afraid of you. Don’t let yourself be dragged into their dynamics if they try to destabilize you. For this reason, the interaction ends if it becomes hostile.

5. “Don’t change the subject”

No matter how hard you try to neutralize a narcissist, he will always want his way.. If he argues about a topic and seems lost, he will change the subject to avoid agreeing with you. If you make an obvious mistake, they will try to divert attention.

If you talk to or have to be around someone like this, it is important that you train yourself to prevent them from going off topic. Refocus the conversation on the key point. He will probably never admit his mistake, but he will understand that he can’t fool you.

How to say it?

Focus on the conversation. Pay attention to when he starts to stray from the topic. Pause strategically to note that he has changed the subject. Use the statement calmly and respectfully as you reintroduce the original topic: “I understand what you are saying.” You say, but I prefer that we continue talking about the main topic. Please don’t change the subject. Strengthen your request (“Don’t change the subject”), if necessary. Do it with a calm expression on your face and tone of voice.

6. “You are not the protagonist”

Those who have narcissism perceive the world as if they were the most relevant thing in each situation. When that desire for prominence is “stolen” from him, it draws attentionand, sometimes, attacks others.

Given this, do not hesitate to point out his behavior and stop prioritizing his figure. With this you will not only be able to hit a narcissist’s ego, you will also nullify it.

How to say it?

Be patient and wait for the right moment. Maintain eye contact and a receptive attitude. Analyze his behavior and identify when he is seeking attention. Approach the conversation and the situation with a calm tone of voice. Express your perspective: “It is essential to remember that everyone has an important role. Therefore, you are not the protagonist. We all contribute.”Reaffirm your point of view, if he or she becomes defensive.Direct attention toward other members to downplay their reaction.

7. “Don’t pressure me”

Lack of patience and impulsiveness are characteristics of these people. When they want something, they want it now, and if someone around them can give it to them, the better. Therefore, before making decisions, stop and think about whether it is legal to accept their request.. In the meantime, make it clear that you don’t work under pressure, and using this statement you will make a narcissist leave you alone.

How to say it?

Recognize when he or she is putting pressure on you. Pause briefly and breathe deeply to stay calm. Use confident body language, such as keeping your shoulders relaxed, making eye contact. Use a firm but calm tone to say the affirmation. : «I need you to respect my space and my time. Don’t pressure me, please. Take the conversation to another more neutral topic to relieve the tension. Remove yourself from their presence if the pressure doesn’t let up.

8. “Don’t compare me to others”

Comparisons with others are a recurring tool for the narcissist. With it, he belittles those around him and encourages them to give in to his desires. Thus, he creates dependent relationships with other members of his environment.

To deal with a narcissist and not give in to their manipulations while protecting your self-esteem, ask them not to compare you to anyone. Reassert yourself and make him see that his comparison is worthless..

How to say it?

Pay attention to the comparisons he makes. Wait for him to finish speaking to present your arguments. Express your statement firmly, clearly and calmly: “I value that everyone has their qualities, but I prefer that you not compare me with others. Don’t do it again, please.” Reiterate your request, “Don’t compare me to others,” if he tries to justify his comparison.

9. “Don’t go overboard”

No matter how much you resist, he will try to force you through the pressure. Therefore, as soon as you detect someone like this in your circle, set limits and do not allow them to cross them..

How to say it?

Maintain a calm attitude so as not to be impulsive. If it is possible to wait for him to finish speaking or acting, do so; If not, stop him immediately. Address him with a firm tone in your voice: “You’ve gone too far with what you said. Don’t go overboard, please. Walk away if he continues to cross your limit.

10. “I don’t want you near me”

In the end, living in any area of ​​life with these types of people is a continuous tug of war that exhausts even the most patient. Although it is not always possible to avoid contact with this psychological profile, what is most recommended in this regard is to distance yourself..

The best way to get rid of a narcissist is to ask him to distance himself.. If he doesn’t want to do it, it’s best to take your course away from him. Your mental health and well-being come first.

How to say it?

Choose the right moment to communicate your request. Remain calm, confident and secure at all times. Express what you feel and your needs: “I have noticed that I feel very exhausted (sad, pressured, etc.) at your side and I want more space in my…